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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To watch Don't tell the Bride (muscle beach episode)

47 replies

Amber76 · 07/06/2015 22:21

I saw the episode where the groom organised wedding at muscle beach in LA today.

I found myself really disgusted at him and the whole production of it really. At disgusted at myself for watching it to the end.

He was incredibly selfish - the wedding was all about him with no regard for what she would like. He spent a fortune on flights and for what? So he could honour his uncles memory? That could have been done with a photograph, special candle or whatever at the wedding.

She seemed like a lovely girl who just wanted a simple wedding. I honestly found myself really hoping she wouldn't go through with it. Her father couldn't walk her down the aisle, her sisters couldn't be there.
Her family were all so upset and sad about the whole thing - what happens when the cameras are turned off? It seems so wrong to 'enjoy watching' something awful happen to someone else. I took it off the series link but I wish I hadn't watched that episode in the first place!

OP posts:

DowntownFunk · 08/06/2015 13:03

Why do you think that?

Firstly being forced into marriage is illegal. Someone feeling obliged to marry or pay £12K could reasonably feel forced to go through with it.

Secondly the show give the groom 12K to spend. He spends it at the shows request on all kinds of things for the wedding the show want to film and make a telly programme about. They can cancel filming for whatever reason but there's no way they'd have a claim on the 12K.

Why do you think they'd have to pay it back?

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours · 08/06/2015 13:06

My friend was in the wedding party at one of these weddings. It was an episode where I'd have legged it if I was the bride, so I asked her what the bride actually thought and she said it was filmed in a way that made it look worse than what it was and the bride didn't mind as much as it was made out she did. They're still together now.

Redglitter · 08/06/2015 13:08

I don't think for a minute a non marriage wouldn't be shown. I think the production team would love it. I'd be surprised if there's been any refusals. You know what you're letting yourself in for when you sign up. At the end of the day you're getting a free wedding

MamaDoGood · 08/06/2015 13:14

It's all unbelievably set up and you do need to pay the 12k back if you do not marry.
My cousin was on it. Worst wedding ever.

BringMeTea · 08/06/2015 13:16

Car crash. Just watched it. Spent most of it muttering 'twat'. Poor girl and her family. Awful.

squoosh · 08/06/2015 13:21

The weddings always look a bit crap, even the ones where it all goes well. Why does no one ever mention the food as a priority!

CornChips · 08/06/2015 13:28

what would the situation be with licences and all of that? I had to be a spinster of my parish for 17 days or something beforehand. And banns published. Would it make the wedding invalid?

CornChips · 08/06/2015 13:36

Just finished it.... it was rather sweet and charming I thought. Lloyd was so totally oblivious, but seems like a nice guy at the end of the day- even if a bit hopeless, Victoria was SO gracious about it. They seem a lovely couple.

Felt so terribly sorry that they could not have more family. That was the saddest bit.

morage · 08/06/2015 13:57

Yes so many of the grooms are so selfish.
I liked the one with the farmer who worked really hard to create an amazing wedding.

CrapBag · 08/06/2015 14:01

mama which one was your cousin?

I do love this programme but I do wonder how some of them go through with it. I guess if the Vegas one did, then anyone would.

I think Vegas couple split soon after that had nothing to do with the wedding but the fact she may not have been his one and only...... I have Googled it before.

I didn't like the one where the bride was petrified of boats due to the fact she nearly drowned before and she had to go on a boat to get to the wedding. That would have been a deal breaker for me. I am terrified of boats and I haven't nearly drowned!

And the skydive one. expat she didn't refuse did she? I thought she did it. Then said her vows on a cherry picker type thing and did a bungee jump after. I remember they had to sort out the fact that her dress would have been over her head! That day had sod all to do with the bride. Purely about the thrill seeking groom.

I saw the Thorpe Park one for the first time recently. I felt so sorry for her. The clips always made her look like a diva but she really wasn't.

Quasicrystals1456 · 08/06/2015 16:21

Oh one that I hated was an episode abroad... Alps? Skiing anyway.

A coach load of very tired guests including children rocked up at a FREEZING ice cavern. She trudged miles in ski boots with her dress on.

The groom hadn't got her a pair of skis to leave in so they sort of carried her sliding away.

Awful!

CornChips · 08/06/2015 16:25

I think years ago there was one where the bride would have wanted a sit down elegant meal, and the mother of the groom ( think I am recalling this correctly) insisted on having a mobile fish and chip van doing the catering, despite the groom's protestations.

If my DH had organised our wedding literally nothing would have been done. The only thing he had to do (and ours was low-key!) was organise booze. In the end.... 2 weeks before the wedding I had to literally dial the number to Majestic and hand him the phone before he would do it.

Dowser · 08/06/2015 16:43

Saw that muscle beach one ages ago. It was grim and such a concrete jungle.

Totally soul-less.

What an awful way to begin married life.

Aermingers · 08/06/2015 17:00

Are people still big enough mugs to believe this crap?

For years it's been really clear that the overwhelming majority of the couples know exactly what the wedding is going to be like and have agreed it in advance.

The bride and groom know that they have to play up that the wedding they've planned is the bride's absolute nightmare, when in fact she has a agreed it all along (a very good example of this is the wrestling episode and the festival one where they got married at a football ground, the bride was supposed to hate this idea but eagle eyed viewers spotted that half the things she wore were branded with the football club's logo). The couples just pretend the bride is horrified. Most viewers wised up to this ages ago. I thought that it was cancelled for exactly that reason?

katystar · 08/06/2015 17:26

I know through friends of the Vegas bride tha basically she didn't want to go through with the wedding but couldn't pull out as they would have to pay back the money, they split up pretty much straight after getting back. It didn't help that she discovered he was having an affair and had a baby on the way with the other woman within a few weeks of the return!

fatlazymummy · 08/06/2015 17:55

The wrestling one was so obviously planned out beforehand. The giveaway was the dress, it was so individual and quirky, yet he just happened to design it exactly the way she wanted it. Yeah right.
Felt sorry for the muscle beach bride, it was a really crappy wedding.
That's the sad thing really, £12,000 is a lot of money and it should be possible to have a lovely wedding and still allow the groom to do some things he likes.

Aermingers · 08/06/2015 18:07

The Vegas one was the only one which was blatantly real. That was really uncomfortable to watch, it really got to the point where the TV company should have pulled the plug. The poor bride seemed under intolerable pressure, and obviously only went through with it because to her it wasn't a 'real' marriage, and she didn't mind her family and friends missing out as she knew she'd divorce him as soon as they got back anyway.

Fauxlivia · 08/06/2015 18:16

I can't see a bride not being horrified when her groom spends shit loads of money on the stag and sends her to bingo. Or fails to have her family attend.

While loads of it is set up, I think some of it has to be genuine. I reckon some grooms probably skirt over how much money they wasted on the stag etc and the brides only see their fella getting a lap dance in Amsterdam when the show airs!

Mrsjayy · 08/06/2015 18:18

I watched it when it was first on and thought what an arsehole the lasvagas 1 is even better

Mrsjayy · 08/06/2015 18:20

The swimming baths one was a peach i just laughed at the daftys who went through witb it

Original poster

Amber76 · 08/06/2015 19:32

I do think there is some set up with regard to the dress. They usually fit the bride really well - I needed 3 or 4 fittings to get my dress right for my figure. In the LA episode the dress was beautiful on her.

But how on earth did he think that 12k was enough to marry there and fly out a decent number of guests?!

I cringed for her when she was walking towards that awful beach and having all those random people looking on. I've been to that beach and it stinks of oil - the bodybuilders are really into themselves.... It's an odd place and very very very unromantic. And their evening venue looked so empty with just their little group in it. Is it really worth it?!

He made such a drama of honouring his dead uncle but was so disrespectful to living relatives.. I thought he was incredibly immature.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 08/06/2015 19:36

The NYC one was something else. Guy makes everyone stump up at least £500 on the spot, then put them in a shithole self-catering apartment in a dangerous neighbourhood, and then buys the bridge a pair of £800 Jimmy Choos.

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