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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have said this to the girl?

68 replies

TheOriginalWinkly · 07/06/2015 10:16

I live in a ground floor flat and do the odd bit of shopping online. We both work shifts, as do the people in the other ground floor flat, and I have an 11 month old DD who naps twice during the day.

So this morning the buzzer went for a delivery (expected, but didn't know what time) as DH and DD were both asleep. I jumped up instantly, then it went again. And again, and again, then it was pressed and held and held. I had to scoop DD up, who was wide awake by this stage. When I got to the door there was a girl aged maybe 8 or 9 holding my parcel. A woman who I presume was her mum was in the van.

As she was young instead of saying what I was feeling (I was pretty pissed off) I smiled and said 'you only need to press the buzzer once, there's people sleeping'. I genuinely said it nicely. Then the woman yelled from the van 'well she didn't know that did she?' I said 'no and that's why I told her nicely'. The woman twisted her face and gave me a proper dirty look. The girl looked unperturbed. I'm pissed off. WIBU?

OP posts:

lem73 · 08/06/2015 21:41

There is nothing wrong with taking the child out in the van but it is not on to get the child to do the delivery work. Having the doorbell pressed like that would totally piss me off too. I would complain.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 09/06/2015 09:10

If you read the rest of my post you will see the connection between waiting times, delivery schedules and bell ringing.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 09/06/2015 09:53

Most delivery drivers don't do it though APlace - presumably because they'd get so many people ringing to complain about them over a few weeks of doing that every delivery that they'd lose their job/ route/ contract.

Children of 8 do not have "delivery jobs" - you have to be older than that even for a paper round. Children of 8 generally know, or can easily be told, how to ring a bell/ buzzer. There is no need for a child delivering a parcel on behalf of a watching parent who is a courier to be told or encouraged to ring repeatedly in quick succession then lean on the bell - people will complain because it will annoy a lot of people and isn't what couriers normally do.

Littlecaf · 09/06/2015 09:57

A child should not be being used like that.

Secondly I have noticed that these type of delivery drivers do not wait. The ones around here ring the bell and bang on our door hard. I rush down the stairs and they've scarpered, leaving a 'sorry you were not in card'. This all takes less than a minute. It's frustrating. (And a bit rude. There is no need to thump on my door like there's a fire).

lottiegarbanzo · 09/06/2015 10:06

YANBU at all, you were helping the girl by being informative, so perhaps she'll encounter happier people next time.

People sleeping and time of day is irrelevant. No one should ever bother a door bell in that way at any time. Had it been an adult, I'd certainly have informed them it was unnecessary and considered them extremely rude.

The Mum's reaction should have been 'sorry', followed perhaps by a token explanation to the child, 'just once then wait dd'. I probably wouldn't waste my own time complaining about one incident but you'd be perfectly reasonable to do so, as the delivery driver is plainly a menace.

vertigogogadgetno · 09/06/2015 10:11

"(I was pretty pissed off) I smiled and said 'you only need to press the buzzer once, there's people sleeping'. I genuinely said it nicely."

I think you believe that, but probably said it less genuinely nicely than you think you did, hence the reaction.

It doesn't sound like an angry chav reaction. "Well she didn't know that, did she?" sounds like the firm but politely worded response any of us might make to a person being a bit OTT with the pissed-offness to a child.

Even the face sounds about right if you were a bit snappy/self satisfied with the response and they could see the POV of someone sleeping while still thinking you were being a bit prattish.

I think it was half-and-half and nobody was really right/wrong in that situation.

Binkybix · 09/06/2015 12:49

Why would an 8 year old consider that ringing the bell twice was unreasonable?! They have no concept of nap times or your DH having a lie in

Probably why you should either not get 8 year olds to do your work for you, or teach them how to do it properly.

I would have been annoyed even if I'd not been sleeping. Hate it when delivery drivers do this.

SoldierBear · 09/06/2015 12:52

A place - read the rest if my post. The pressured schedule does not excuse the rude behaviour. Most of us experience pressure at work and still manage to treat customers with courtesy

cosmicglittergirl · 09/06/2015 13:06

This is really annoying when it happens and I had the same problem with a fog horn loud buzzer that woke my baby up bit couldn't be heard from outside so delivery people would press it long and repeatedly.
I've now got a doorbell which is portable (and can be turned off), is quiet and a note over the old buzzer saying it doesn't work please use new one. No more naps being disturbed.

Icimoi · 09/06/2015 13:10

Well, it wouldn't be my response. It doesn't matter whether the child knew people were asleep, anyone with a delivery job should be aware of the fact that people do shift work, may be ill, may have babies; and if the delivery driver takes her child with her to help, she should make sure the child is aware of that as well. Plus, as has been pointed out, ringing the bell four times in quick succession and then leaning on it is rude behaviour even if everyone in the house is wide awake.

Noneedtoworryatall · 09/06/2015 13:50

Ten in the morning is reasonable, and you were expecting a delivery.

Well done for not reporting her, perhaps she was just having a bad day.

No harm in bringing her little one along. Perhaps she can only work on weekends and has no childcare.

There was a thread on here recently about a ten year old being left in a library do her mother could work and almost every poster said it was ok yet a little girl that goes to work with her mum and people are saying report her.

It was only a doorbell op, no need to lose the head.

BabyMurloc · 09/06/2015 13:55

The kid being with her mother in that situation wouldn't bother me tbh BUT if an 8/9 year old is going to deliver things she needs to know how to do it. Constant bell ringing is irritating and totally unnecessary. Politely asking her not to do that is in no way unreasonable. The mother should be glad she knows the kid was stupidly ringing the bell because if she keeps bell leaning there WILL be someone who is far less polite!

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 09/06/2015 14:03

Noneed nobody has said report themother for bringing her child to work. It's not the child being there anyone is interested in, just the aggressive buzzing.

Several people have said they would complain about the way the buzzer was rung repeatedly in quick succession and then for an extended period (or that they wouldn't complain but others might so the mother is risking her job by letting or encouraging her child to do that especially if she's allowing her to do that at every delivery. ..

OnlyLovers · 09/06/2015 14:17

I'd report. She can bring the child to work if she needs to, without getting her to make the deliveries. I'd be v clear that a) you were pleasant to the girl, b) the mother's response was disproportionate and c) you have no problem with the child nor with the mother bringing her per se.

Noneedtoworryatall · 09/06/2015 14:38

Nurnoch, yip, they did

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 09/06/2015 14:51

Where? I have rtft and people said they'd report about the buzzer being rung repeatedly and leant on, and a few said the child shouldn't actually do the deliveries, but I didn't see any posts saying report the courier for having her child with her...

Noneedtoworryatall · 09/06/2015 15:11

If you report th mother you are reporting her for having child with her.

Lavenderice · 09/06/2015 15:14

I would be contacting Yodel about this, not the buzzing but the child. I'm pretty sure this is against child labour laws and would invalidate any insurance they have should the child have an accident with the parcel.

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