To ask how a woman would "use sex to get her own way"

[NKfell]

I'm not planning on doing this but just caught a glimpse of a lads mag advising 'lads' not to allow their girlfriends to "use sex to get their own way". How? I'm not buying the mag just to find out!

It makes me think of saying "I'll only do that if you do this" but surely not?

I'm sure there are times when people use sex to get their own way.

However... (especially as this was in a "lad's mag") a man saying "she used sex to get her own way" often seems to mean "I delegated all decision making to my cock and now regret it"...

It does! When you look at it that way it's actually offensive to men too...But then, I don't think any normal men read those mags anyway!

My french ex said there was such a thing as 'madame choisi' (he called it anyway) where he couldn't say no to anything if I was provocatively dressed for example

I know a fair few women who offer particular "favours" to their partnerspartners in return for certain things like an difficult chore or new clothes. I was at a night out where it was discussed as strategy. I was a bit shocked as I'd always thought it was a myth.

Tbh, I'm quite happy to have sex with DH anyway and, without being a smug twat, we discuss other stuff rationally rather than bargaining.

Each to their own, but I admit I was a bit when it was being discussed.

I agree AlmaMartyr I thought it was more a TV thing than a real thing

It doesn't work for me as he can take it or leave it. I bribe him with CDs instead

It's just a bit of fun at times.

I never withhold sex to get my own way, that is just stupid.

I think that any couple who reduce sex to a transaction are missing out big time. The best sex is always when both of you want it and get off on seeing the other person turned on. If you only have sex on that basis, it is never a chore and holds no power for either party, just pleasure.

There is the thing where men think that sex or sexual stuff is somehow involved in a "deal" and then get quite aggressive when it turns out it isn't because the woman never realised there was supposed to be any kind of deal in the first place.

Like when you think you're doing X with a friend and then they fling themselves at you and you say No they say oh but I bought you a drink / you agreed to come to the party with me / whatever.

In the context of a relationship I've never done this and never been with a bloke who has done this and it seems odd and agree with others that it reduces men to brainless and women to libido-less. It's just a horrible way to approach relationships between men and women, that men are just after sex, women are just after material things, and the women "allow" men to have sex with them (which they wouldn't otherwise have ie they don't want sex) in return for material things. Vile.

And yes it then encourages this thing where men say well I did X you owe me sex and then get angry when it's not given see PUA types.