To talk to my uncle

[hooochycoo]

My dad recently died after much illness. Myself and my brother and sister have had a traumatic few months and are all grieving. My dad left his house and all possessions to the three of us equally and made my sister and his brother, my uncle, executors.

Since this bereavement my sister has been acted strangely, not consulting with myself and brother about dad's estate, insisting it's her sole responsibility apart from angrily telling us both that she could do as she wanted and get in house clearance and sell the house without our input. Neither myself or my brother want to sell it yet. We are all grieving, our bereavement is only two months old.

To complicate, my uncle, the other executor and a very close relative, has had a recent diagnosis of terminal cancer. He is obviously not thinking about his executor role now. My brother now wants to get legal advice to remove him as executor and appoint one of us as an executor with my sister as he's worried that my sister will sell up without consultation. Both my brother and my sister have warned me not to talk to my uncle about these issues due to his illness.

I just want everyone to talk openly, make decisions together and compromise. Is this impossible due to greif and illness? Should I speak to my uncle about my brother and sister's behaviour? Or that unfair due to his illness? Should I just be quiet and trust my brother and sister will do the right thing ?

i don't know. I don't even know whether I want to keep it.

I just don't want to deal with losing a house full of memories of my dad and my family and childhood just now.

btw. sorry about different username. on my computer rather than my phone

I don't even know whether I want to keep it.

You need to talk to your sister. Because as things stand, given what you've said about the wording of the will, she can sell the house and all its contents tomorrow morning.

And don't start the hare running of the will being tangled up with the PoA. Powers of Attorney don't give any additional powers over wills, and the solicitor who drew it up will know that. If a will divides an estate equally between all children, there is absolutely no way that any claim of undue influence could stand without extraordinary special circumstances.

so there's no point in talking to my uncle, as even if he agreed that we should talk and agree what to do with the house and contents before anything is done, dad's will says it has to be sold?

Just imagine he dies without helping you resolve it?
Dont involve him

dad's will says it has to be sold?

No. If all the beneficiaries agree, the will can be changed with a deed of variation. And there are all sorts of other possibilities: if someone left a house worth £200k and £100k in cash divided between three people, then one person can take the cash and the other two can take the house (subject to valuations). But the basic assumption is that the estate will be wound up and liquidated and the assets distributed.

But your sister is entitled to a third of the value of the estate in cash (assuming the will is as you have implied) and as beneficiary she's entitled to demand that of the executors. She's not entitled to it instantly, but she's entitled to it with reasonable dispatch. And as an executor, she's obliged to wind up the estate according to the will and distribute it to the beneficiaries. She doesn't have to do it instantly, but she has to do it with reasonable dispatch.

So she holds all the cards. If you want to do something else, you need to talk to her.

thank you namechanged

x

any other advice?

i didn't talk to him. I opened a related conversation and let it hang to see if he'd pick up on it but he didn't and changed the subject, so i left it.

Why won't your sister talk about it? Because she's still too upset about your Dad's death, or because she doesn't want you involved?

Did your dad choose your sister because he knew she would be the one to deal with the estate in the most business like way. He may of decided that you and your brother would be too emotional to deal with the sale. She might be avoiding the conversations as these conversation are what your dad might of been trying to avoid. It is all so difficult especially with the grief that is entwined.

I don't know why she won't talk, it's very out of character . I'm hoping it's grief, but it's hard not to fear the worst.

Dad was very traditional. he chose her because she was the oldest.