About having a wash

[Leafitout]

Ds has an aversion to washing and has had a meltdown. I simply said to him to get in the shower this morning making sure that he washes his hair. He did get into the shower grumbling under his breath like I asked him to shower under an ice bucket challenge conditions! Anyway he came down dressed in his uniform and his hair dry as a bone. Bearing in mind that he last washed it on Sunday! He said he had put his head under the water. But clearly he hadn't.
There is no need for him to be unclean and tell fibs about it so I said he is not to take his phone to school. Cue almighty tantrum that I am mean making him wash, it's his phone not mine, why do you have to be strict it's boring, I don't need to wash my hair. Then slams front door without a goodbye. He's 12 and going into the teenage mood throwing stage but I will not budge on his hygiene. Aibu

At some point one of his friends (or a girl he likes!) will tell him he stinks and then you'll never get him out of the shower!

Better start saving up for all the Lynx he'll be asking you to buy

Leave him. His friends will soon tell him if he smells or he will grow out of it.

I've always taken the stance with my two that if they want to smell or wear dirty clothes (because they haven't put them out for washing) then that's their lookout but not to come crying to me if they don't like the consequences. I never have to tell them now at 13 and 16.

These are things they need to learn for themselves.

YANBU - you have to draw the line somewhere. With my DS2 I had the same problem at around the same age. If he hadn't washed his hair when asked I would make him do it in the sink after. No shouting - just continual nagging

He knows I mean business on that now and will do it himself whilst in bath. He's 14. Used to be similar for teeth brushing too, but have 'trained' him on that. Stubborn little so and so's

Could you strike a deal with him to wash hair once a week as a minimum? Then at least you have him on side. As puberty hits, hair gets greasy, and he will need to do twice a week,but perhaps he's not at that stage yet

I only wash my hair once or twice a week...I don't see it as particularly unhygienic.

My two eldest are 19 & 17 and shower twice a day. They also shower before going swimming or going to the gym and ds2 has to shower within minutes of having a haircut. Who would have believed it in the days of the great unwashed. I think it's normal!

My DS used to be a clean freak, at least one shower a day, if not two. Now he has a hairstyle which takes a lot of work and can only be bothered to do it once every 3-4 days. He's gone from being fragrant and lovely to a stinky 15 y/o overnight! I never thought I'd see the day.

However, as others have said, a few mean comments from friends/girls will soon sort him out. Could you get a shower cap to keep his hair dry if that is the issue - I know it still needs washing, but at least that way he has no excuse not to wash his body more regularly!