Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you pull over when your baby is crying?

58 replies

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/06/2015 21:48

When you're driving alone with your baby and he or she cries, do you pull over?

I was driving home from the supermarket earlier with my 8 month old and when we were about 10 minutes away from home she started crying. Her dummy was on the floor and I didn't have a spare so I just drove home as quick as I could but did end up getting stuck in traffic which made things worse. When we finally got home I realised she'd filled her nappy which was obviously uncomfortable for her and she was so upset with herself. I sang to her which helped a little and passed her something to play with but I thought pulling over would make things worse ans prolong the upset!

Just wondering what other people do in this situation?

OP posts:
littlejohnnydory · 02/06/2015 21:50

I don't drive but if in the car with dh, we always pull over as soon as possible if baby cries. Usually a nappy check and a feed will keep her happy until we're home.

CultureSucksDownWords · 02/06/2015 21:52

Depends on how far from your destination you are. In your situation I would have gone home too, if it was 10 mins away. If it was a longer journey I would have found a place to stop for a while. So you were not being unreasonable!

Griphook · 02/06/2015 21:52

Depends how far from home I was, in your situation I would have done exactly the same thing

Eebahgum · 02/06/2015 21:52

In your situation is have probably kept driving too. Pulled over on long car journeys though.

steff13 · 02/06/2015 21:54

I would probably not pull over unless I was pretty far from my destination.

snowmancarrot · 02/06/2015 21:54

I have pulled over but it really did prolong the misery. Mine never wanted to be strapped in a seat so to get him out then have to try and wrestle a screaming baby back in was worse.

You were only ten minutes away. Don't beat yourself up.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/06/2015 21:57

I wasn't feeling guilty until I googled how other people distract baby when driving but there was nowhere I could have realistically pulled over as we hit tea time traffic and were on dual carriageways etc. I never ever let her cry so it was a bit traumatic for both of us.

OP posts:
steff13 · 02/06/2015 22:00

Crying for a few minutes isn't going to hurt her.

pointythings · 02/06/2015 22:00

10 minutes from home I would also have continued - and been as mega stressed out as you were. It's normal. If you have a long way to go yet then obviously you'd pull over as soon as it was safe to do so and deal with whatever the problem was. You sound sensitive and sensible - great combo.

DisappointedOne · 02/06/2015 22:05

If we were both in the car then one was in the back with her. If not, we had a mirror on the headrest above her so she could see me and I could see whether I needed to pull over.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/06/2015 22:07

Thank you pointy.

I'm new to driving alone with her since me and her dad recently split so I didn't quite know what to do other than singing nursery rhymes until my throat hurt and driving as quick as I safely could. I'll be more prepared next time.

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 02/06/2015 22:10

Mine are late 20s now but I do remember a hideous journey back from Wales to the Midlands when elder son screamed all the way. Nothing would soothe him. If we'd waited till he stopped yelling we'd've probably still been there. I don't think it did him any harm.

NinkyNonkers · 02/06/2015 22:11

Same as you. 10 mins from home I sing, chat and get us home asap. On a longer journey stop.

Bluecarrot · 02/06/2015 22:11

I ended up buying a nursery rhyme cd because i couldn't focus on driving when she was crying! We learnt actions to the rhymes at home so when she hears them she tried to do actions, even when upset ( though obv not when at frantic stage!)

littlejohnnydory · 02/06/2015 22:11

Just seen that you were only ten minutes away - sorry, must have misread the OP. I think that unless he was hysterical, I'd have kept going too. Five minutes and I definitely would!

BigRedBall · 02/06/2015 22:11

Depends on what kind of crying it was. I kind of got to understand my baby's crying and made a judgement on whether it was a silly tired whiney cry or a full on inconsolable screamy cry. For the latter I'd stop even if I was 10mins away (did this a few times with DS, who was and still is a drama queen).

I can't drive with a screaming baby. It really makes me hot and jittery.

TattyDevine · 02/06/2015 22:13

Hell no. On a long journey yes, but in that situation I'd just turn the radio up to drown them out Wink No, seriously, my children didn't tend to cry in the car, it was one time I could guarantee quietness from them actually, but the couple of times they did it was because they were either bored or hungry so the best thing to do was to just get to the destination.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/06/2015 22:17

If I thought something was wrong then I know I would have found somewhere to stop regardless of where we were but I know it was a combination of wanting to get out of the carseat and obviously her nappy situation so I think stopping, taking her out and putting her back in the seat of doom would have been even more upsetting for her. I didn't think twice about how I'd handled it until I googled!

OP posts:
Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/06/2015 22:20

Ahh I feel less like the worst mum in the world now. I always end up doubting/torturing myself in these situations.

OP posts:
ShadowFire · 02/06/2015 22:20

Depends how far away from home, how bad the crying is, and if there's anywhere safe to stop.

DS2, in particular, I wouldn't have stopped only 10 minutes from home. He went through a phase where he would cry practically whenever awake in a car because he hated being in his car seat. If I pulled over and took him out, he'd be immediately all happy and smiley, but would kick off crying again the second I put him back in the car regardless of anything we tried. Thankfully he's grown out of that now.

TheRoseAndTheFire · 02/06/2015 22:22

You did fine. Really don't beat yourself up. You haven't harmed her in any way.

I never pulled over if I was near home - just concentrated on getting us home ASAP.

On a longer journey I would pull over if the crying persisted. But I remember once driving on the M6 by myself with baby DD. She would cry so I would pull into the next services, check her nappy, comfort her, offer a feed etc....only for her to start screaming again as soon as we were back on the motorway. That was a fun trip. Hmm

2rebecca · 02/06/2015 23:23

No. Especially if it's just a short trip and it's just dummy fallen out stuff. Different if long trip and prolonged wailing. Glad ours never had dummies as the wretched things always seem to be falling out and causing wailing.

2rebecca · 02/06/2015 23:27

Agree that with prolonged car trips (we're in Scotland relatives in England) we got used to ignoring wailing and they both stopped doing it fairly rapidly when the wailing didn't achieve anything. One of us would sometimes sit in the back and entertain them for a bit, although I tended to get car sick. Recurrent stops just made the trip drag out so usually 1 stop every 2 hours or so was all we'd do to get it over with. They soon reach an age when you can put song and story tapes/ CDs in and it becomes less of an ordeal.

Soduthen116 · 02/06/2015 23:32

Your baby is safe. Concentrate on your driving. Far far more important than trying to look in the mirror or sing nursery rhymes.

If you are distracted pull over where safe. Don't get flustered or loose concentration regardless of how near /far you are.

Distracted drivers can turn into unwitting murderers.

Lookatmyredtrousers · 02/06/2015 23:32

No, blimey she spends enough time crying that I'd never get anywhere

Swipe left for the next trending thread