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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell dad to give up on this flaky friend

4 replies

tallulahturtle · 02/06/2015 21:03

My dad has a friend whom he has known since school (my dad is in his 60's). When we were younger we would all socialise with him and his wife and children. He got divorced and remarried and in recent years my parents have met up with them for a few meals out. Its always been a bit odd as in recent times the friend has cut short the meal as "they have somewhere to go on afterwards", one occasion they actually ordered their food before my parents arrived as they clearly had somewhere better to be.
My dad has been trying to arrange a time for them to come over for a meal and every date has been refused as they are busy. The latest date was this weekend, he has just text and cancelled as they are double booked.
Due to the odd behaviour ive been saying for a while to ditch him and as sad as it is and even though he has known him since school, sometimes the longest friendships are not the best friendships and sometimes people change (into arseholes) .
He is coming round to the idea that he should ditch the friendship. Just wanted to gage with you lot. Am I /are we being unreasonable?
Also any decent replies to the latest cancellation text?

OP posts:
OpalQuartz · 02/06/2015 22:08

It's sad for your dad, but it seems like they are showing him they don't want to meet up. Maybe the new wife isnt keen? Maybe he could reply "Ok, well let me know if you do want to arrange to meet up" and then don't contact them any more and just see what happens. Could he concentrate on another friend instead? Or take up a hobby to make new friends.

DoJo · 02/06/2015 23:41

I agree - leave the ball firmly in the friend's court and be prepared never to hear from him again. If your dad is doing all the running and STILL not getting anywhere, then it might be time to cut his losses and stop setting himself up for disappointment.

Soduthen116 · 02/06/2015 23:45

I think your dad has been ditched so no action required.

Probably the 4 of you meeting up was awkward for the new wife as she shared no history with your parents.

Onwards and upwards.

Bishopston · 03/06/2015 07:38

Sorry that your Dad seems to have 'lost' this longstanding social contact but I agree with OpalQuartz - 'oldest' friends are not necessarily the best/most suitable friends. My reply to the text would be "oh, ok" or something - I wouldn't give a sarcastic/sharp response but if I were your Dad, I'd cease to contact and make arrangements with this "friend" from now on.

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