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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Closing another cars door

39 replies

hibbledibble · 02/06/2015 16:40

I'm interested in people's opinions of this.

I was putting baby dd in the car in her car seat. I have a tiny car which means I had to use the road side to put her in (isofix seat fitted in other side). I leaned in to strap her in and stepped inside the car for a moment to put the buckle in. The road is very quiet.

Another car then comes round and closes the cars door. Aibu to think this is a bit rude? If he had asked I would have closed the door. I didn't realise it was causing an obstruction.

OP posts:
betseyfly · 02/06/2015 16:45

Yes it's rude alright. Driver could have just lowered their window and asked.

Justusemyname · 02/06/2015 16:47

You could have been locked in if child locks were in use. Did the car crash into you to shut you in?

Original poster
hibbledibble · 02/06/2015 18:01

He didn't crash into it, at least I don't think he did. It just seemed a bit rude. I realise its minor but I was just wondering if I was being unreasonable to be annoyed.

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 02/06/2015 18:08

Very rude, why couldn't they have waited a minute like a normal person.

Justusemyname · 02/06/2015 18:08

Not at all. Did he get out of the car to shut your door?

Icimoi · 02/06/2015 18:11

Maybe he didn't see you and thought you'd left it open accidentally?

peggyundercrackers · 02/06/2015 18:11

I don't think it was rude, I think you should have closed the door when you stepped into the car so you weren't causing an obstruction.

Orange6358 · 02/06/2015 18:11

He should have waited

Flisspaps · 02/06/2015 18:20

I agree with icimoi - if you were in the car, they may not have seen you and thought they were doing a good deed!

sadwidow28 · 02/06/2015 18:21

YANBU - He should have waited. Your foot could have been in the door and he could have been faced with a compensation claim.

Why is everyone in a hurry these days?

I was in Aldi carpark last week and started to reverse out when a Mum arrived at her car with a toddler in the seat. I was 90 degrees to her space and could have swiped her, toddler and the trolley. I stopped reversing and waited. She thought she should move quickly.... I jumped out and said "Take your time, stay safe, I'll go after you". She then burst into tears because nobody had ever been thoughtful before.

I ended up helping her pack her shopping in the boot.

2 minutes of patience and thought. Is it too much to ask?

mynewpassion · 02/06/2015 18:22

Good deed instead of rude if they didn't see you

CaTsMaMmA · 02/06/2015 18:29

Why would you leave the car door wide open into the road? I'd say you're quite lucky he got out to close it and was paying attention to see it.

I also have an issue with delivering children in and out of cars on the roadside...makes my hair curl!

so YABU... and devilmaycare with the car door and he was being impatient.

BackforGood · 02/06/2015 18:51

Waht CaTsMaMmA said.

YWBVU to leave your car door open obstructing the road.
I'm not really clear how another driver shut it (you mean bumped it with his car? or got out and pushed it shut?). If you have to strap small people in, you do it from the pavement side.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 02/06/2015 19:02

back and cat I made clear in the op that it wasn't possible to do it from the pavement side. I have a tiny 2 door car and it is quite literally not possible to do it on the pavement side. It was only for a moment, and I would have closed the door had I realised there was any obstruction. I'm wondering if this is normal behaviour or not.. He almost certainly saw me and could have asked.

OP posts:
Pooka · 02/06/2015 19:08

I used to make sure that the infant seat would be pavement side. Toddler scrambles through car to their (roadside) seat and you do them up and pop the baby seat in from the pavement.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 02/06/2015 19:11

pooka that's a good idea but only works if you can guarantee a parking space on one side of the road, unfortunately this isn't possible in mind London. I think I will be buying a bigger car soon!

OP posts:
poorbuthappy · 02/06/2015 19:13

So park your car facing the other way so you can access the isofix from the pavement?

DancingHat · 02/06/2015 19:51

Sometimes it's not possible to park pavement side. Sometimes it takes more than 0 seconds to safely strap a child into their car seat. Sometimes roads aren't wide enough to allow a car to pass whilst a parked car's door is open.

And sometimes people could just have a little bit of patience while other people do what's necessary to keep their child safe, even if that means slightly inconveniencing someone else briefly. YANBU.

CaTsMaMmA · 03/06/2015 08:27

ime it is much easier to manoeuvre about in the back of a two door car as the front seats both fold into the front space...giving you loads more room

and this is speaking as a very tall person, who had giant children and a fiat cinquecento.

but I see you just picked up on the points I made that you disagreed with and ignored the fact that I also said the guy was being impatient in the face of an unnecessary obstruction

The only scenario I can envisage where it is never possible to park with safe child access onto the pavement is if you live on a one way street with parking only on one side and YOU have the car seat installed on the wrong side.

Otherwise it is perfectly simple to park safely at all times.

londonrach · 03/06/2015 08:37

Like others I think man was doing you a good turn and didn't see you and closed door as saw no one near the car. If he saw you and closed door on you that's very very rude

Grumpyoldbiddy · 03/06/2015 08:41

I think ywbu.

If you have to get into the car through the road side door, you pull the door to behind you, for safety for other road users and to stop your car being damaged. If you don't do this of course you run the risk of something happening, tbh I think you get off lightly.

Grumpyoldbiddy · 03/06/2015 08:42

*got not get

Grumpyoldbiddy · 03/06/2015 08:44

It's not necessary to keep your car door open in order to put your child in a car seat, so the argument that people should be more patient whilst someone keeps their child safe is a nonsense. And entitled.

ShaynePunim · 03/06/2015 08:54

YABU. You don't leave your roadside door open, and fitting the baby in the car seat is never 'just a moment'. As others have said, you pull the door behind you.

Therewere5inthebed · 03/06/2015 11:05

I'm a registered childminder and as such can care for up to 3 children under five. So obviously when using the car I do have to use both side doors in order to strap the children/babies into the car safely. So there are many occasions when it is not possible to use the pavement side only.

It amazes me on this site sometimes that as a collective group of parents that some posters can be so harsh with their comments (I know it's AIBU but even so). Just because you may not have had the need to open a door roadside does not mean that others haven't!

Whatever way you look at it the other driver was in the wrong and should have been more patient.