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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you 'have fun'?

47 replies

1Child1PetNoClue · 02/06/2015 13:27

Hope for starters I'm not being too U posting this in AIBU for the traffic!

I've suffered with anxiety and depression for years and am really trying to get some sort of a hold on it, but one thing I've lost seems to be the ability to enjoy myself - I used to have hobbies, be able to relax in front of the tv etc but don't seem to enjoy any of that now and think if I found small things I could enjoy doing it would help my mental health no end. So AIBU to ask what you do for 'fun'?

We're struggling for money atm so things like going to a gym or out for the day or starting an expensive hobby are out, but easy (cheap) small things would be great, especially if I can do them with pre-teen dd (and possibly DH) as I don't feel I spend much quality time with her through tiredness/low mood. We live too out of the way to have museums etc nearby (£12 bus journey to any), only have a library, but not rurally enough to have nice fields/hills to walk in etc so a bit stuck there too.

So far all I can think of is sticking on some music and having an (embarrassing) dance session with dd, doing some drawing/colouring in or going out for a walk (but not sure where!). Any ideas much appreciated.

OP posts:
blue42 · 02/06/2015 13:35

Take some long walks in the country. I prefer to do this alone, but no reason you can't do it with the family.

Personally I find that in a world of internet, TV channels and advertising bombardment, a few hours a week in nature resets my sanity - to the point I honestly think I'd go insane without it.

blue42 · 02/06/2015 13:36

Oh, sorry, I missed that part of your post. Can you not get out to some nicer areas?

Original poster
1Child1PetNoClue · 02/06/2015 13:41

I think there might be a couple of decent walks within an hour walk from us, will have to investigate now the weather is getting better, but indoor stuff would be good to have too to fall back on (it's peeing down here today). I also work from home so work easily invades without anything fun/relaxing to switch to.

OP posts:
Original poster
1Child1PetNoClue · 02/06/2015 13:43

Hope it doesn't sound too dense to ask but do you only go walking in good weather or find it still helps even if it's awful out? Feel terrible if I have to go out shopping etc when it's pouring but wonder if that's just because I need to get stuff done iyswim? Wondering if I should just wrap up warm/dry and go even if the weather is horrible.

OP posts:
PinkPearlClutcher · 02/06/2015 13:45

I really enjoy adult colouring books! I also look on Pinterest for interesting craft projects.

Could you bake with DD? Get a big baking book and let her choose?

Have you tried geocaching? Google it...essentially a treasure hunt using your phone. They have them in most areas now.

Do you like to read? Pop to your library once a fortnight and pick up some books.

I bet you have lots of old photos lying around of lots of digital photos not printed yet, could you and DD or DP start making albums/scrapbooks?

Be creative, be active, and be happy :)

ItsTricky · 02/06/2015 13:47

Have a picnic in the garden? Looks like the weather is going to improve this weekend,hooray.

I don't like walking in rain but if it's just cold it can still make you feel happy.

ItsTricky · 02/06/2015 13:50

Baking? its so therapeutic and you have something yummy to show for it.

monkeymamma · 02/06/2015 13:53

I don't know if it would float your boat but I find myself getting very stressed if I don't have a craft project on the go. Crochet is meant to be pretty cheap, you just need a hook (off Amazon) and some yarn. Would your dd go for that? Cross stitch is also a great easy-start hobby, just download some free printable charts off Pinterest and pick up some threads and aida from John Lewis or similar (just a few pounds). Quilting is also cheap as uses scraps.
If that all sounds a bit ambitious then how about grown up colouring in? There are some gorgeous free printables on Pinterest for grown up colouring and would be fun to do together.
I know you don't want to spend too much money but if you have a play station or can afford a second hand older model, sing star and rock band are both brilliant fun for the whole family so quite a good investment per £! And I am pretty much tone def, hate karaoke etc but love belting out a classic in the privacy of my own home :-)

marshmallowpies · 02/06/2015 13:54

Digging in the garden is always a mood lifter/mind clearer for me. And if you can interest your DCs in gardening too (if you have a garden) then it's a lovely shared activity to do together, I've had many happy hours pottering in my garden with my parents when I was young, and now with them as an adult too! Making a pond, if your DCs are old enough for it to be safe, is also a fun project to collaborate on, as watching it come to life is so exciting!

monkeymamma · 02/06/2015 13:54

Oh yes and get to the library for some books and music every week!

blue42 · 02/06/2015 13:55

I try to avoid the rain if possible, but it won't stop me if I need to get out. At worst I'm going to get muddy and a little cold, but I know I will feel great after getting home and having a hot shower.

I know this is going to make me sound like a total hippy-dippy, but I can get a sense of absolute joy from something as simple as seeing a butterfly or watching the crops in the fields ripen. I think if you suffer with anxiety, nature is one of the most effective ways to calm yourself. And if you wfh as well (I do too) then your home becomes a de facto place of stress, to some degree, so getting out is the only way to really remove that for a little while.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 02/06/2015 13:55

Volunteer at your DD's school? I run an after school club as it's a great way to spend time with my boys and get to know all their classmates.

Baking is always a good idea too... or just cooking in general.

Get off MN? I find that it makes my anxiety worse so I have to have a break every so often. I always come crawling back though :)

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/06/2015 13:55

Join a club or society for what you're interested in? I belong to a literary society.

Original poster
1Child1PetNoClue · 02/06/2015 13:56

Baking would be good, I've tried spending time cooking to relax but get caught up in the daily grind of it, but baking with dd sounds more promising, and like the look of geocaching, will have to read more to get my head around it and see if my phone will do it but there seems to be a couple nearby. I'd overlooked how many photos I've got and I've even got scrapbooking paper from when I meant to do a scrapbook when dd was a baby (will ignore how many years ago that was), never felt like getting round to it on my own but if it's with dd it'd feel more doable.

Will be over the moon if it's nice this weekend, a picnic would be lovely. Thanks for all the suggestions so far already feeling more positive.

OP posts:
IPlayBass · 02/06/2015 13:56

I have a pre teen dd who loves baking with me. We also enjoy trips to the cinema together, most big chain cinemas have some kind of offer - odeon do 'kids club' £2.50 per ticket to see a slighter older release. Otherwise she loves cinema nights - a new dvd (don't spend more than a fiver, dvds are reasonably priced in the supermarkets we find), closed curtains and treats! How about making your own? Pizza is fun to make, she gets to choose her toppings, you could do pizza/cinema nights.

We enjoy shopping together, even if it's window shopping and going out for food is something we all really enjoy.

Dd and I have enjoyed various craft projects such as customising clothes and making jewellery.

500Decibels · 02/06/2015 13:58

Walk in all weathers. Get some Wellies and a raincoat.
I also enjoy cycling.
At home, books and films or box sets on TV.
We play the odd board game from time to time.
Baking. My kids really enjoyed baking bread recently.
Just dance clips on YouTube and follow the moves. Kids love doing this and laugh hysterically.

spiderlight · 02/06/2015 13:59

I was going to suggest geocaching too. You can get a free app called c:geo and it's a good way to find nice local walks that you might otherwise never discover.

www.geocaching.com/play

undoubtedly · 02/06/2015 14:00

What about cooking a nice meal together then getting all dressed up in your finest clothes to eat it? Make a real occasion of it, do DD's hair, perfume, plastic "pearls". Pretend your at a country house do in the 1920s?

At the end of the day, its cooking dinner, but you've then made an afternoon's activity of it?

NoIsNotACompleteSentence · 02/06/2015 14:00

Run outdoors, with music you like on headphones.

I can't do it now but about ten years ago I was the most unfit, couch potato imaginable. Friend and I entered race for life and I got the running bug. We live in not a very nice area but had a canal towpath and it was the best thing ever, a real mood lifter.

Had to have the music though. I enjoyed making playlists etc and when I ran, it was time for me, my head was clear and the fresh air was wonderful. Your DD might enjoy coming with you too, though. Gosh I miss it.

IPlayBass · 02/06/2015 14:01

Just read back some of the replies I x posted with and monkeymama's suggestion of playstation is a fab one. We have singstar and go on it all the time, so much fun. Haven't tried rock band, will have to give it a go. We also have a wii which is great for multiplayer family gaming. We have the dance games, they're so much fun and good at keeping you fit too.

NoIsNotACompleteSentence · 02/06/2015 14:02

Re the photos, I ordered a huge pack of mounts and sorted them all out, mounted them and made a "photo wall" going up the stairs. Makes me happy every time I see it, too.

boobybum · 02/06/2015 14:03

Have you considered running - Is there a Parkrun anywhere near you?
I started doing the Parkrun last year having never done any form of exercise before and I really look forward to going every Saturday morning now. I also run a couple of times during the week - just over 15 minute runs so not a great effort but enough to give an endorphin rush!
I could only run for about 500m before stopping to walk when I started out but gradually improved and can now do 5k in under 25minutes.
There are loads of kids who do the Parkrun and it really is family friendly.

Sleepybeanbump · 02/06/2015 14:09

Op, yes, I find walking in all weathers very therapeutic. You can get a half decent waterproof jacket for not very much and some fairly low tech but serviceable waterproof over-trousers for dirt cheap. Plus wellies and you're good to go. Or a longer length coat and wellies and just accept soggy knees Smile

I embraced it during a holiday in Exmoor when we just got soooo wet every day it was silly. Ever since then I've actually liked it. Just have to not fight it and find your inner child!

SurlyCue · 02/06/2015 14:13

Things i get small bursts of pleasure from;

Taking pretty photos, just on my phone. And looking at pretty things on pinterest/etsy

Planning crafty projects

Buying cheap books in charity shops and writing loads of 'corrections' and questions for the author, either in pencil on the side of pages or in a separate notebook. I pretend i'm sending them to the author and that they will be very grateful for my improvements to their work Grin

seaweed123 · 02/06/2015 14:13

I was going to see Orienteering - there are a few free fixed routes near me, and cheap local clubs. Geocaching is similar and probably a bit more accessible though. I'm going to look that up myself.

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