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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would I be mad to start maternity leave at 30 weeks?

74 replies

KnitFastDieWarm · 02/06/2015 11:55

I'm expecting DC1 in November and am starting to think about my maternity leave. I'm tempted to start at about 33 weeks with all my extra holiday tacked on the front giving me TWO MONTHS off before my due date (my theory being that, as a first time mum, this is the last time in the next 18 years that I'll get that kind of time to myself...)

My job is not especially stressful (it's sheer self-indulgence that's driving me to do this .

I love the idea of being able to relax at home on my own (typical introvert), get everything ready, sleep loads, eat well and mentally prepare for the birth. We can afford it and DH thinks it's a good idea - any good reasons NOT to do this that I haven't thought of?

I'm not planning on going back to my current role - hoping to freelance again like I used to a few years ago - so am not too worried about needing to save up leave for after the birth.

Any thoughts? Anyone done this and regretted it?

OP posts:

NinkyNonkers · 02/06/2015 13:39

I'm the same op, never bored when left to my own devices.

TimeforaDietCoke · 02/06/2015 13:41

It sounds lovely, go for it! I'm 30 weeks and very envious

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 02/06/2015 13:42

Do it, why not? I lost my job around that point with my first, and looking back it was actually a lovely time, just relaxing and preparing and being alone. If I could have been paid for it as well it would have been perfect!
Especially if you won't need the leave afterwards.

GloriaPritchett · 02/06/2015 13:43

Oh go for it! Don't give up your holidays for nothing.

Celeriacacaca · 02/06/2015 13:45

Another one who's very happy in her own company here. I did it and LOVED it but had planned financially to be able to do it. I'd worked for 21 years before having DC and it was so lovely having the time at home beforehand. I didn't regret it a bit. Did the same second time round and again, it was lovely to spend time with DC1 before the new arrival.

ThePhoenixRising · 02/06/2015 13:45

In the country I used to work in maternity leave started at 32 weeks and went on for 12 weeks after the birth on full pay. I loved those weeks before the births, I have such happy memories of those times, both when pregnant with DC1 and on my own, and when pregnant with DC2 and spending the extra time with DC1.
In your circumstances I would definitely start as soon as you can.

nannyj · 02/06/2015 13:47

I did it at 32 weeks and really enjoyed it. I love my own company too and never get bored. Best time ever and have such lovely memories.

Alwaysinahurrynow · 02/06/2015 14:14

Finished at 38 weeks with DS1 and had 2 weeks before baby
Finished at 34 weeks with DS2 and had 5 weeks (very hot summer)

Definitely loved having the time second time around as I was exhausted and spent at least an hour and a half napping each day -bliss!

BrandSpankingNewName · 02/06/2015 14:50

Go for it, you'll not get the chance to have that amount of time to yourself again until you reach retirement age I would imagine. I did this with my first, I had 15 months off, 3months on my own and a year with DC1. It was such a lovely time and I always look back on it fondly. Just had DC3 and I worked up to 38 weeks and can only afford to take 9 months mat leave.

seaweed123 · 02/06/2015 15:54

I only had a week properly off before hand, and spend 3 days of that travelling to a hospital a 3 hour round trip away for check ups. So it sounds amazing, I would have loved a nice break off first.

However... I took my remaining annual leave for the year as cash, and have to say, it was handy. I'm not sure I would have wanted to give that up!

hibbledibble · 02/06/2015 16:03

I wouldn't as I would rather have time with baby when they were born, and I would get bored out of my mind sitting on my laurels for that long.

Also consider what form of childcare you are planning to use, as many nurseries will not accept a baby under a year, and childminders can only have one under 1 at a time, which means it will be more difficult to get a place.

Lunastarfish · 02/06/2015 16:08

I finished just before 30 weeks due to the end of a fixed term contract. I'm 34 weeks, I've had the occasional day where I have been a bit bored but all in all I'm glad I'm not working as I'm knackered so can sleep in if needs be, have afternoon naps, swim when it isn't busy, go shopping at 10 on a weekday when it is lively and quiet.

I'm planning on being a SAHM for a while so fortunately i didn't need to take into account the 'starting mat leave early means returning to work early' issue

TattyDevine · 02/06/2015 16:12

I did this. Probably a good thing as I was fairly unwell with pre-eclampsia by that point and was hospitalised at 34 weeks so they probably would have triggered the start of my leave then anyway, which they could do then, and possibly still can, not sure if that's changed.

I wasn't planning on going back and didn't, so I didn't have to worry what age the child would be when I went back, if that makes sense.

It worked out perfectly. A nice chunk of spare time for the first time in decades really, at a time where I wouldn't have much spare time until they started school (which they now have and I have plenty of spare time once again!)

I didn't sleep well in pregnancy either, so it meant I could snooze during the day if I'd had a particularly bad night. Also it was summer (why do I always have pregnancies where the 3rd trimester is in summer? And why is it whenever I do its like the HOTTEST SUMMER EVER?)

So yeah, um, do it.

LemonYellowSun · 02/06/2015 16:17

If you aren't returning after your maternity leave and can afford it then go for it.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 02/06/2015 16:21

I've done just that. Mat leave is due to start at 34 weeks and I've booked all my annual leave for before so I'm now off until next June . Having twins and my job is tiring so I thought why bloody not! I've been wanting out since about 24 weeks if I'm honest but that wouldn't have been wise financially

LokiBear · 02/06/2015 16:22

In your situation I'd do the same. I'd only suggest leaving it as late as possible if you were returning after.

MummaMeerkat · 02/06/2015 16:24

I had 6 weeks leave before DD was born. It was amazing i just pottered, read, watched movies and took long baths. All things that are distant memories as a SAHM to two toddlers. Do it and enjoy

lovelychops · 02/06/2015 16:26

Do it !

I had 10 blissful weeks before my first baby was born. It coincided nicely with having a stress free Christmas then a really lazy January and early February before my DD was born.

I have such happy positive memories of this time.

Like you I'm an introvert and love time on my own, and I felt very prepared. (As prepared as you can be ). I had long baths, leisurely afternoon naps. And binge watched mad men. Happy times. I also spend lots of time eating, bit of yoga and going to the cinema alone.

It was so good ! When I was having DS I had a toddler so none of this was possible. It may be the only chance you have to have such quality alone time - for a very, very, very long time !

Purplepoodle · 02/06/2015 16:28

If your going to be a sahm then it would take the time off. I ended up a month off before birth due to holiday to be used. It was wonderful. Fondly remember eating chocolate and reading ps I love u

coldofhands · 02/06/2015 16:29

Do it, I wish I had. I finished work on Friday at 33+1 and my waters broke at 33+6. Have your time, rest and enjoy. The next part is wonderful but as you say there's 18 years ahead!

CatOfTheForest · 02/06/2015 16:36

Do it! I'm an introvert and from almost 10 years down the line, I can tell you that just pottering about on your own really is something that's going to get much harder. I wish I had taken my maternity earlier and had more time, but I'm freelance and I kept just having to finish things off, so I ended up with just a couple of weeks. If I'd had more of that free time, I would have done things like go to the cinema, baking, sewing, wandering around the shops and blobbing about reading magazines. Especially at this time of year, it will be really enjoyable and it will help you be as fresh and rested as possible.

If you're the type to get bored then I can see it might be a bit long, but I'm never bored on my own.

Also, if you need time alone, once you're back into a work routine, it really is worth building in "me-time" days when your DC still goes to nursery but you take the day off work and do whatever you like. I don't get to do it often at all, but it's a sanity saver.

LavenderRain · 02/06/2015 16:36

I finished at 30 weeks (25years ago!) it was fab, I am like you and love my own company,
I spent the time 'nesting' painted the nursery, cooked nice meals, slept!
I remember the time fondly. Do it! You won't get another chance

voluptuagoodshag · 02/06/2015 16:38

I did and it was great. Totally enjoyed having some time to myself, nesting, chilling, sleeping. And yes I've not had a minute hardly since, nearly 12 years ago. Do it

MrsMook · 02/06/2015 16:49

Go for it. I was a supply teacher, so the summer holidays started when I was 18 weeks. With hindsight the SPD was creeping in then. I reckon I'd have been incapable of work by 34 weeks. My sleep was dreadful. In the last month I had carpal tunnel syndrome, so lost fine motor control for doing crafts, and I could barely walk. I then got snowed in, so my last month was spent playing computer games as I couldn't do anything else!

With Ds2 my temporary contract ended in early pregnancy, but term dates meant that I actually stopped working around conception as nothing else became avaliable while I was capable of working.

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