to resign from helping DH?

[righteouslyfuming]

DH does private tuition, he's very good and extremely busy. He has information processing issues, and because of this I have always managed his timetable and helped him remember where he needs to be. This is more work than I imagined when it started, but I didn't mind as we both benefit from the income.
He has just started teaching a little girl with cerebral palsy, very intelligent but very limited mobility. One of his time slots for her is 7am Monday morning. Last week we both forgot about it completely, and felt awful (the first week). Today I set my alarm for 6.00 and woke DH up. He said he was too tired to go. The only reason he was tired was because he had been up on the computer half the night. I was so mad, thinking that this girl and her mother would have had to get up early to make sure she was ready on time, not easy considering disabilities, and he was just being lazy.
I said if he didn't go I would stop managing his classes. He didn't go, I texted all his students this morning to tell them to communicate with him directly in future.
DH is a bit gobsmacked.
WIBU

I think you totally ANBU. However, is there a downside to refusing to help him, if it means that you start losing income? Might it be better to make an agreement that (1) the computer goes off by 10 p.m. the night before a 7 a.m. session on the basis that you have permission to pull out the plug if it doesn't; and (2) that he will never pull this stunt again?

Oicimoi, he thinks he's done nothing wrong, so I don't think he would respond to me setting rules. Sadly (in one way but not another!) I don't think he will lose income. If he ever loses s student there are always several more waiting.
Its the morning aspect rather than the free aspect that's the issue. He has always done at least 2 free sessions a week and treats them the same as the paid ones.
Maybe this change will be good as he will now have to deal with people ringing asking where he is etc rather than me, it might just make him realise.

That is truly awful behaviour, I don't think I could respect a friend who did this to someone. That poor mother probably got up at 5.30am to get her daughter ready. The girl probably started preparing for the tuition, recapping what was covered at the last lesson and preparing for the lesson ahead. Then they'd both be sat there waiting at 7am, eventually realising they'd been let down again. As others have said, the fact that it was a free lesson actually seems to make the situation even more sad. I hope your husband sees sense and makes it up to this child.

I was bloody knackered this morning but still made it to work on time.

If he cba then yanbu to stop facilitating his work. Tbh it sounds as if he isn't particularly committed to his line of work.

Information processing problems?

He needs to learn to manage this and develop coping strategies rather than get you to baby him.

He's not a good tutor, he's a twat

Fucking hell that's disgusting. Free or not it's a total disregard for the child and their Mother, particularly the Mother actually as she will have worked extremely hard to have got her disabled child ready for 7am and was no doubt so happy initially that your DH agreed to help them.

I would never ever do that to anyone unless I had a very good reason. Oversleeping due to a late night is not a very good reason. He is acting like a 16 year old with a Saturday job.

It was really hard to read these replies, as I completely agree but it's not a light I had ever hoped to see my husband in. After my angry adrenalin had worn off, I just felt really really sad, and he could see that, but just didn't seem to understand what the big deal was, I mean what can I do if he just doesn't get it? But I've also taken my name off his website so I hope he can see just how serious I think this is.
Info processing problems-undiagnosed, he's from a country where nothing like that gets diagnosed. His brother is similar but also wasn't able to learn to read and write, whereas DH is very intelligent in other areas. Its true that I baby him, and he also has asked if I can find other strategies other than just doing stuff myself, but to be honest it is so much quicker to do it myself and with young kids I just don't get the time to organise it any other way. I've never minded helping, but really don't want my name associated with his business any more if he's running it like this.
I saw the mother today, as she's new to the area so I'd arranged to see her socially. I was mortified and she was lovely, we've arranged a different time so hopefully her daughter will get what she needs.

YANBU Hopefully your firm stance will make him realise he needs to be reliable. He can't coast on the fact that "no one else does what he does" if he gets knows for being unreliable other people will soon pop up, trust me!

I would be SO ASHAMED if that were my H.

Yes, the fact it's free lessons makes it worse. It's so patronising and wrong, wrong, wrong. As if he likes the idea of looking generous and kind, so makes a grand gesture, but actually underneath has nothing but contempt for these people in a 'weaker' position than him and feels that he simply doesn't even need to treat them with common decency. Disgusting.

'He can't even see that it's wrong'. No, I can imagine that. If he could, he simply wouldn't have done it - he would never dream of being so horribly rude and dismissive.

Well done for staking a stance op, that can't have been easy. In the mother's position I think I would have felt humiliated by your dh standing us up twice. I speak from experience when I say that as a parent of DC with disabilities, you can feel very vulnerable and take things quite personally. I hope she realised it was just your dh being an utter idiot.

Taking, not staking...

And there's me thinking I shouldn't have to wake DS up anymore because he's a teenager now...

This guy sounds way too immature to be teaching children in any capacity. He certainly doesn't have what it takes to do it on a self-employed basis.

Don't have anything at all to do with it from now on. He'll either sink or swim. (Spoiler - he'll sink. Send him back to his real mother.)