AIBU to tell DSD's to grow up?

[hunibuni]

DH has 2 older girls and we have 2 DC. There is a 10 year gap between DS and DD but only 3 years between DS and DSD2. When the DSD's were younger PIL took them to Canada but not DS because we couldn't afford it (XW paid nothing). Now that DS is turning 18, my dad has offered to buy him a car.

This has opened a can of worms with DSD's because he would be getting a car when they didn't. However, DSD2 was added to BIL insurance when she passed her test and DSD1 is only starting to learn.All 3 were offered the opportunity to save towards their 1st car and insurance and we would match their savings, but the only child who did that was DS because he saved all of his birthday and Xmas money. Would I be AIBU to point out to them that his Grandad paying for the car is the same as when their GPs paid for them to go on holiday but not DS?

I'd keep out of it and leave it to her Dad to deal with it.

Yanbu

Yanbu

Yanbu

YANBU and DSDs are acting like spoiled brats. I would point out to them that your dad, DS's grandad, is buying the car. He is not their grandad so what business is it of theirs?

Yadnbu

Yanbu, your dad is buying his grandson a car, it's not their right to expect one nor is it their business.

YANBU, stand your ground.

Yanbu. For one thing it's not you and dh buying the car it's your dad who is nothing to do with them. The other thing is you gave them the opportunity to save for a car and you'd match it and they couldn't be bothered but your ds did.

It's not like when they went on holiday with pil at all, your ds lost out because his grandparents took his half siblings on holiday and left him out which was unfair.

They're adults not tell them to act like it.

DH spoke to them today and DSD2 apologised but it it seems to have to brought up some old resentments in DSD1 (sigh). She did tell DH that she was being irrational but she felt that our DC got the better deal because we're still together. DH did point out that DS missed out on loads of things that they did with PIL as well as us not being able to afford as much when they were younger. DD is probably going to have more experiences etc than them because they are grown up now and she's only 8. DH has said that he will talk more with them because it's highly likely that our DC will be inheriting from my dad (we have been discussing his will with him because of potential international inheritance issues ) so he wants to nip this in the bud.

The step parenting/financial issue can be like a landmine OP. I am a step child on both sides and at times a lot of it hurts and grates irrationally. There are things that bothers me about my half brothers/sisters that wouldn't be an issue with my full brothers/sisters (And sadly I do see them as half siblings, esp the ones I didn't grow up with)

To give you things from their perspective, yes, the fact that your children have 2 parents together is probably the under lying cause of the "injustices".

I would echo what other posters have said and take a step well back and let your DH deal with it.