to not want dd to play contact rugby with boys.

[Blinkinwinkin]

dd is 8 and has loved playing tag rugby in a mixed (80% boys though), well-run, local club team for the past year. She's really good and loves it. From Sept she will move up to the contact game and all the other girls are dropping like flies. I suspect she will be the only girl. ( she won't care about this.)

I know she will be taught properly, the club staff are great, but I'm concerned the other boys won't be so diligent about safety... especially from visiting teams. I have seen them throw themselves on the ground and sulk when the game doesn't go their way and believe that 9 year old boys are not so mature (on the whole) as 9 yr old girls, so may not play so safely. Also a couple of them are really quite BIG! She is not! Her talent is her speed, not her strength. I don't want her to continue to play. DH is keen to let her carry on. WWYD?

There's a reason they don't separate by gender until quite a bit later. With proper coaching and support, your DD will be fine. Ask yourself: Would you be so concerned if your DD was of identical size, but a DS instead? I think you should let her try, since she clearly wants to continue.

It should only be about what she wants

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with getting a bit hurt or taking a few risks

Please support her - maybe if it gets to rough it's time to transition to an all female team?

My dd played football with boys up til 12. Yes, she got hurt occasionally but it's all part of sport.

There are girls rugby clubs around, maybe you'd have to travel a bit.

My ds is 9 and terrified of other boys tackling him. Enjoyed tag rugby, hated contact rugby. It's a completely different game IMO.

If your dd's talent is speed maybe she can do something else like athletics.

At 8 the girls usually start overtaking the boys in size, they won't catch up until about 13-14 (when the girls stop growing). But YANBU to consider whether its a safe game for any DC.

As others have said, why are you concerned - just because she is a girl? Do you really want the opposing teams to be especially careful of her because she is a girl ? I am sure she wouldn't thank you for that. She is going to be at least as strong and fast as a fair few of the boys on the pitch, and will remain so until they all reach 13 or 14.

The trainers and refs seriously watch them so closely she will be fine!

They up their vigilance a lot at this stage, so they will not miss a trick!

You will have noticed that each game is like a training session anyway, in that the instruction continues throughout, so that will carry on. They are aware that actual matches are when they learn the most.

Let her see if she like it.

A good number of the U9/U10 teams in Hampshire have girls in their teams and contact is very light, and highly supervised. The most that's happened with our squad are a few windings, which would happen equally if not more frequently if horse riding. The girl on our team is a true team member, and outplays many of the boys. This was their fist year of contact too. They don't see her as a girl, and being fast means that she will be able to get out trouble rather than have to blast through it.

Please don't stop her doing something she loves, it's such a great sport for men or women, and good players need to grow through the ranks. Our team has 3 female players in GB try outs. Support your daughter in what makes her happy.

If this were a son of yours, you'd not think twice, that's discrimination and your daughter deserves better than that from you.

Does your club do keep in touch summer training? Ours did last year and it was a good introduction to rugby without tags.

Thanks. I think I would be concerned about the move from tag to contact if she were a boy too. She really IS smaller than the boys though, some are very solid indeed. My point about opposing teams is more that they may not be as well directed and strict on safety as our excellent club ( I have witnessed some really foul play at a few tournaments this past year from 1-2 clubs where discipline is not so great)

Let her play. I played full contact ice hockey with lads until under19. Still occasionally play with the adult men, but usually in a reduced contact setting.

I know it's not the same sport but all the top females either still play or did play all the way through the junior 'boys' section. The physical challenge of playing with bigger and stronger opponents as long as they are physically able stands them in good stead.

One of the many great things about rugby is that there's room for all shapes and sizes in every team - big 'uns, little 'uns, fat 'uns, skinny 'uns, slow 'uns, quick 'uns, bolshie 'uns and calm 'uns.

At this age it makes no difference whether the player is a girl or a boy and if she's that speedy she'll keep out if trouble, like the speedy boys do. Let her make up her own mind. If it's too much for any reason, then help her find another sport. Something safe and girly, like horse riding .

I pulled my dd out of rugby when it got to full contact. She switched to hockey instead and loves it.

I work in a primary school and in general the girls are bigger than the boys in upper KS2.

My youngest daughter is a year older than yours. She started contact last September. She had a slow start with a lot of hanging around at the back during games. If you don't have the ball then you won't get tackled was her philosophy.
After Christmas there was a sudden shift and she decided that she really likes tackling now, so much so that boys in other teams are very surprised when this small blonde girl comes and takes them down. They do tend to stop and stare when she's in full flow which helps her team.

If she wants to continue playing then let her, the contact is so very carefully controlled and a good team will do a lot of work on falling safely too.

My DD played with boys up to and including U12. A few issues towards last year when she became a supersub as the coaches started to focus on getting the boys playing in the positions they were going to play going forwards but she loved it and has gone on to play for a girls team.

Her team had set plays that relied on luring the other team into going after her as she was tiny (she would offload the ball as they piled onto her) but her only injury was a black eye when a member of the opposing team punched her after she ripped the ball from him.

As others have said, there are positions for all shapes and sizes and girls are really mot at a disadvantage at U12 level.

My son is one of the largest on his team, one of his best mates is one of the smallest, this lad is a rocket! He's relentless! He won player of the year this year! My son could never be this boy, and he's been upset about it in the past, but rugby has space for all sizes, my son makes great runs goes through light opposition and this lad takes it over the line.

Let her play, let her see what she feels about it, the drilling and serious conversations that go on about safety is key to the game. They don't just say get on with it. They show them the tackle, do it slow motion and explain why and the danger of getting it wrong.

They only introduce scrummaging in U10, so we have it to come this year.

If you see dangerous play, bad discipline, report it and make them do something about it. I know it does go on in some clubs, but if you speak up you should be heard.

For the most part in Hampshire we have good teams and behaviour is good. We're a big squad so go to all the tournaments and the teams are closely watched.

Would it be worth you having a word with the coaching staff at your club about your concerns over discipline in opposing teams, so they keep a better eye out for it?

This has been really interesting! I was totally expecting a chorus of "no, I would pull my dd out..it's far too dangerous.. Have you thought about hockey?" It's great to hear about other girls playing past tag stage and still enjoying it. Thanks mrspnut for sharing.
hiss yes there is a summer course she could go on, do is keen for her to join it before the season starts. I think I'll stop worrying so much and let her give it a go.

DS played at U9 level last year- I agree that they are very carefully watched and children who are not safe were taken off the pitch- either for their own safety or that of other players.

He had a few knocks, but no more damage than a school playtime. Make sure she wears body armour and a hat though. Mid way through the season, he joined a swim squad- cut his leg horribly in his 5th week (no idea how). Far worse than a rugby injury.

I spent the day at Twickenham today, and there were a few loose arms/fists flying about. I have to say the thought crossed my mind that if there was someone punching my son, I'd have to be tied down to stop going on the pitch myself and belting him back! It is a worry, I know, but our kids need to do what they love, love is too short, their childhoods too short to have their fun and enjoyment curtailed or quashed.

Life, not love:)

I don't think it's full blown contact at that age is it? I'm sure I didn't start "proper" rugby until about under 12. Altho I do know it's different depending on the country you're in.

If she wants to play, let her. 2 of the best male players of recent generations were a lot smaller. Brian o'driscol and Shane Williams. Both of them used there speed and agility to run rings around the opposition.

My 10year olds sport involves a 500kg animal.

Yabu

I played for about 25 years, from being able to hold a ball through university and into a women's team. This is partly why my girls both play. Dd1 is in an adult women's team now and dd2 will be in U10 in September but she will do a tigers camp over the summer and her club do mini touch from next week for 2 months.

If your local club don't already offer mini touch, then I would ask them to consider it over the summer. It's a great way to keep the kids fitness up and touch rugby is the fastest growing sport in the country.

I play rugby and have done since I was 19. I wish I'd had the opportunity to play at your dd's age! I'd be a braver (and therefore safer) tackler.

I agree with pp, let her try it, keep an eye on the way the team is produced and make sure it is fun and safe.