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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you want a light on overnight, it should be blacked out from outside?

160 replies

Gibble1 · 31/05/2015 05:01

My neighbours over the back have a really thin white blind and leave their bathroom light on all the time. It's like a thousand suns shining through our bloody rear windows. We have reasonably thick curtains but they don't block out the light.
I had to go round there before and get them to turn off their effing security lights and noticed the bathroom lights a couple of days later when I wasn't on a night shift. They were new to the house so I thought it was just an acclimatisation thing and didn't want to keep going round there complaining but the light is doing my effing head in now. I no longer work nights so it's all the bloody time and I just want to be able to sleep. It would also be nice to do some star gazing but DS's telescope got put in the loft as there is no effing point even trying to look at the sky.
Gah! Why can't people just turn off their bastard lights or put up black out blinds at every window so no lights can be seen from outside?
I'm sorry for the moan but I'm frickin knackered.

OP posts:
viva100 · 31/05/2015 17:20

The house is 100 feet away? And a bathroom light is sooo bright that you can't sleep or gaze at the stars? Are you on glue, OP?? It's the first time I can say YABVVVVU without a shred of doubt. And you sound like you really really hate these people and have decided everything they do is unreasonable.

donemekmelarf · 31/05/2015 17:21

And I should have said
OP is DEFINITELY NOT BEING UNREASONABLE.

There is no need to keep a light on all through the night.
Stop being so paranoid!

donemekmelarf · 31/05/2015 17:22

What kind of idiots leave their bathroom lights on all night anyway? Confused

Bakeoffcake · 31/05/2015 17:25

Just go and buy a black out blind. My friend has just bought one for her dd which has sucker things on it, so you just stick it onto the wall or window.

It is much less hassle than falling out with your neighbour.

donemekmelarf · 31/05/2015 17:25

Why can't people just turn off their bastard lights

I feel you're pain.
but unfortunately, you get selfish bastards in this world who don't think how their selfish actions impact on the neighbors.

donemekmelarf · 31/05/2015 17:25

your pain.

HoneyDragon · 31/05/2015 17:27

Could you pop into your garden and shout "Mitmoo" if the neighbour shouts "yes?" It's probably best if you just get blackout blinds.

Bakeoffcake · 31/05/2015 17:28

I always used to leave the landing light on when the DDs were little as dd2 was a night wanderer.
It was an energy saving one though so wouldn't be very bright.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 31/05/2015 17:38

I sway towards YANBU Gibbie, but then I like night to be completely dark, no lights, and I don't like light pollution. I also get your love of waking up more naturally with the dawn; I have blackout curtains but most of the time I have them open so I wake up to natural light. I thin you should post a picture so we can get an idea what it's like though.

needmorespace · 31/05/2015 17:49

Actually I kind of get where the op is coming from.
My neighbour across the road has their front room light on all night sometimes - now it doesn't impact on the lighting in my room in the way that the op's neighbour's lighting does BUT it does create a sort of spot light effect which is right in my eyes when I am lying in my bed. This is to do with the level of the window and blinds etc. My husband isn't disturbed by it at all because of the side of the bed that he sleeps on.
It is actually driving me slowly mad.
We have blinds but I need to have the window open a couple of inches (sash windows) and even if the blinds were below the window line, I would still be able to see the light (venetian blinds) as would need to keep them open to allow the air in (I wake up with dreadful headaches/blocked sinuses etc due to the heating).
I have often pondered whether it is reasonable to ask my neighbour opposite to either turn the light off or pull their curtains so that I don't have a spotlight effect all night (it is their front room as they live in a flat).
During the day you wouldn't notice the light but at night it is actually unbearable.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2015 17:49

I feel your pain, I really do. However, asking a very near neighbour to turn their outside light off after midnight (it was on all night from around 3:30pm) and maybe if they could change the direction of their security light slightly led to 7 years (and counting) of harassment for us. They were our friends before so we never thought it would turn out like it has. I wish we'd just bought a blackout blind or 3.

MissBattleaxe · 31/05/2015 20:21

I cannot believe there are posters saying that leaving a bathroom light at night is selfish. Unbelievable.

I think there is too big a sense of entitlement going on in the OP. The neighbours have a right to live their life. They are quiet, they compromised on the security lights, but they leave their bathroom light on at night and that makes them selfish??? They live 100ft away. Live and let live.

BreconBeBuggered · 31/05/2015 20:41

Perhaps, OP, you should try a different tack. These people clearly like leaving their bathroom light on, and will probably carry on doing so. Can you approach them tactfully and mention that you can see bathroom action behind their windows from your house, and suggest they might invest in some thicker blinds themselves?

HawkeyeInChaos · 31/05/2015 20:44

Is there a reason why, as I read this thread, the advert scrolling at the top is for blinds4uk?

nooka · 31/05/2015 20:46

needmorespace venetian blinds are rubbish for keeping light out, so I'd start by getting proper curtains and seeing if that sorts out your problem. You'd still be able to have your windows open, the curtains will just billow if there is a bit of a wind (so get them nice and long).

I have such an issue with light that when I stay in a hotel I go with not just a mask but dark material to block light, and spend at least half an hour finding and covering up all the light sources (tv, telephone, air conditioning, smoke detectors, gaps round the main door, gaps in the curtains etc etc). I still wouldn't be telling a neighbour to sort out their inside lights, although I have asked for security lights to be redirected in the past.

RiverTam · 31/05/2015 20:50

whilst I do feel your pain, OP, I do think that you could get blackout blinds or lining for your curtains pretty easily, and it's a bit 'cutting off your nose to spite your face' not to in this instance. 100 feet is a pretty long distance to have such an effect on you, which suggests that either you are extremely sensitive to light or that their lights are abnormally bright which would, to be honest, suggest to me they are growing weed! In which case I guess you could mention it to the council, they might take an interest, possible the people may be known to them already.

I do know that some people have a lot of bright spotlights in their bathroom, my mum's bathroom is weeny but it has 6 spotlights and is astonishingly, and unnecessarily, bright. Not uncommon for people to overdo the number of spotlights in their bathrooms, according to the builder who did our bathroom (we have three, and normally at least one is blown at any given time). But to be so bright at such a distance does sound a bit odd.

peggyundercrackers · 31/05/2015 20:59

As for light pollution - we contacted our local council when a neighbour put lights on her tree, an 80ft tree covered in lights - our house really was lit up like a Christmas tree at night, people were stopping and taking pics etc. it was so bright and stuck out like a sore thumb. She left them on all night most of the time. Anyway when we complained and asked the council to act under the light pollution act they said they wouldn't take any action unless we spoke to them first. It's buyer hard to get them to aptake any action in a place where there are street lights etc. the council also told us to buy blackout blinds...

itsnothingoriginal · 31/05/2015 21:04

I agree with TheFairyCaravan as NDN can be an odd bunch!

We asked a neighbour in the house behind very nicely to angle their security light down as shines directly into our bedroom windows.....big mistake!!

It would have been much easier just to spend the £100 on a blind and blackout curtains as we ended up buying them anyway along with causing problems with them for 2 years until they moved out.

I do feel your pain. I would love to see the stars but everyone feels the need for outside lights around us!

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 31/05/2015 21:38

Op you are overwhelmingly being told you are being unreasonable, are you taking any of these comments on board??

sanfairyanne · 31/05/2015 21:56

if you leave the telescope aimed at their bathroom, they might buy blinds Grin

Original poster
Gibble1 · 31/05/2015 22:11

Yes, I have taken on board the fact that the majority of posters on here don't think I have the right to darkness at night.
I asked DD if it bothered her earlier. She said it was bad but she covers her head with a pillow (!) and then DS piped up that at least it wasn't going on and off all the time like the security light did. He was in that bedroom then and was knackered at school until the lights went off.

I'm going to have a large glass of wine and try to sleep well tonight. Am ringing mortgage brokers tomorrow.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 31/05/2015 22:20

I really do think that for your DC's sake you need to get some blackout up. Your views on 'waking up gradually', whatever that means, should not trump your DC getting a decent night's sleep. I totally get this is not your fault, but there is a solution than you could implement very quickly. But you cannot just let your DD get to sleep with a pillow over her head!

kinkyfuckery · 31/05/2015 22:21

You are ringing your mortgage broker??? What for? So they will send them a note for you?

What utter bollocks that a bulb pointing downwards into a room can be causing you such distress from a distance over 100ft away.

Original poster
Gibble1 · 31/05/2015 22:22

OMG! I posted that post and went up to get my pyjamas on and shut the curtains. The light is not on. It is dark out there :D. So if you read this thread today and (live on a hill near the sea) decided to not turn the light on tonight, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I could bloody kiss your feet :)

OP posts:
RiverTam · 31/05/2015 22:23

hahahaha, that's hilarious!! Well, fingers crossed it stays like that, OP!