To wish my family would stop commenting on my weight

[imnotfat]

I'm not even overweight! I have a BMI of about 23, which is within the normal range.

Every time I see my family, they are constantly telling me I am getting fat, and it's driving me nuts because I know I am a healthy weight. I eat pretty healthily, all home cooked food, and monitor what I eat carefully, as I will gain weight if I don't.

I am naturally bigger than my siblings, who have a BMI of about 20-21. My family eat similarly to how I do, its just they happen to be naturally slimmer.

AIBU to tell them to mind their own business as I am a normal healthy weight.

My dm always stares at me when I eat. I'm not even that fat. I love my dm, but I just feel like saying Fuck. Off. I'm sure that she doesn't do it to my brothers.

While we do have different heights, foot sizes etc the metabolism thing has been extensively debunked. If you put people in a locked sealed room and monitor all their calories in and out (has been done, right down to sieving and analysing their poo) the bigger people just eat more. There are no fast or slow metabolisers

You mean to say I have been taking thyroid medication for ten years for nothing? And that when my levels are too low and I lose all energy and pack on weight like crazy it's actually all IN MY MIND, and nothing to do with my physical body???

Wow...

YANBU op I think it's fucking rude. Some people seem to enjoy making others feel inadequate unfortunately. I think Skiptonlass has the right approach here.

grumpysquash if my MIL did that I'd wrap the effing Weight Watchers book around her smug head. How bloody spiteful.

"Naturally thin" people who seem to eat a lot usually move a lot too. They fidget and stand more and move around a lot (pacing on the phone etc).
I am not a mover/fidgeter so even if I run half an hour each morning I probably expend less energy than the super thin fidgeters :(

Tell them your bmi is healthy and doc not concerned...so piss off!!

You're not fat, but I GUARANTEE that you eat more, relative to your calorie needs, than your slimmer siblings.

Yes, my relative calorie needs are most likely lower than my brother (because he is male, and males have a higher calorie need), and my sister (because she fidgets a lot, something another poster mentioned).

So if I eat the same, or even slightly less than them, I will still be naturally bigger, hence why I mentioned that they are naturally slimmer. They can eat more calorific food without gaining weight and without exercising, simply due to gender and fidgeting.

Either way, it is still rude to comment on my weight.

Gatorade clearly for healthy volunteers with no thyroid issues - and most overweight people don't have thyroid issues (including me).

I think the OPs family are out of line and she doesn't need to lose weight - but the metabolism myth helps no-one. The vast majority of people don't have thyroid issues.

kundry, were the people in the scientific experiment the same gender?

Because if so, then why is the daily calorie allowance different for men and women?

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your family are so rude. I just can't understand why some people are so bloody obsessed with other people's weight. Obviously if you are worried about an extremely large family member then that's different but even then you'd hope people would be supportive and not judgemental and insulting!

It's none of their business and makes no difference whatsoever to them whether you are larger than them or not.

velvet that's exactly my point.

If I was dangerously overweight to the extent that I had developed (or was at high risk of developing) health problems, then I would understand a family's natural concern for the health and wellbeing of their family member.

But I clearly don't fall into that category, which is why this is so frustrating.

I think they had men and women in the experiment but don't quote me on this. It appears to be a depressing fact of life that a man will use more calories in a day than a similarly sized woman

imnotfat when I used to come home from university my mum would start commenting on my weight while I was still taking my shoes off in the porch. She hadn't even said hello Funnily enough I didn't lose any weight until she stopped doing it

Do families discuss their BMI???

Battery The parameters for comparison are not the point - I was drawing attention to the fact that it isn't nice to make unfavourable comparisons with others. I thought that obvious (and lighthearted, though that seems to have passed you by)

My MIL comments about my weight occasionally. Last time she did I said "well, when you sort out your dreadful wrinkly turkey neck I'll sort out my weight" and she cried down the phone to DH that I was bullying her.

Overweight my foot. I've carried two children, exercise and run at least every other day and have a BMI of 26. It's hardly as though I'm phoning for a crane to lift me out the lounge windows to McDonalds.

YANBU at all. Tell them how incredibly rude it is, ask them why on earth they feel such rudeness is acceptable and point out their dreadful manners. People often don't realise just how awful they're being because somewhere in their heads they believe they're helping you out with their comments.

Yanbu n u have some odd/toxic family stuff going on there, OP.

I'd have to say "Oh u r doing this again? U r absolutely obsessed with my weight, what is going on with u?" . This type of behaviour needs calling on.

GL.

But... TDEE... relative to your calorie needs... These are all different ways of saying metabolism, are they not? So yes, assuming the OP's sister fidgets and perhaps has a greater percentage of muscle mass then her metabolism will be faster. But if she is a size 8 and, say, 5 foot 2, and the OP is a size 12 and, say, 5 foot 6, the OP will always be proportionally larger.

Yes, if the OP (or any of us) eats too much they will have more body fat. But if the proportions are as I have described above, the OP will never be the size of her sister, no matter if she avoids pains au chocolat. Isn't that what we're discussing here, given she is not overweight?