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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a boob job?

40 replies

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 30/05/2015 11:44

This is an 'embarrassing bodies' sort of situation so please be kind!

I'm pretty sure I have zero breast tissue. When I was younger I saw all my friends develop boobs and waited patiently for my turn to come but I'm 25 now and still waiting! Even my 12 year old niece has overtaken me.

It has severely affected my happiness and confidence and I really don't want to live the rest of my life with no boobs. I want to feel like a woman and feel good in a bra/bikini or even topless! I want a boob job.

The decision to have surgery is not an easy one as I lost my mum to breast cancer so I sort of feel guilty that I want to go under the knife for cosmetic reasons but I hope she would understand.

I breastfed (or should I say nipplefed) my daughter and now my chest looks even worse because the skin stretched when my milk came in and they look lopsided due to supply issues. I look awful.

People keep telling me to just be happy with what I have but I don't have anything!

OP posts:

Lavenderice · 30/05/2015 11:47

Not, unreasonable at all. Just do your research and find a good surgeon. Good luck!

Royalsighness · 30/05/2015 11:50

I'm in the same boat, I had quite big ones from an early age, I breastfed and now have no actual breast at all but 2 saggy empty sacks of skin, people said they would get better but it's been over a year since I breastfed and they are worse, I'm pregnant again and scared what my body will look like after I'm finished breastfeeding again.

Have you considered filler injections? It's cheaper, less invasive and gives them a boost by a couple of cup sizes, that's becoming more popular now x

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/05/2015 11:52

YANBU. They're your boobs.

RaaRaaTheLion · 30/05/2015 11:55

You're not being unreasonable at all. Mine have always been big, got to an H cup during pregnancy and now I've stopped breastfeeding, they just look...sad. I've decided to have a boob job once I'm done having children as a treat to myself.

Achangeisadgoodasarest · 30/05/2015 11:57

Do it. Life's too short. Best thing I've ever done for myself. Find a good surgeon though and don't go too big for your frame.

And don't feel bad because if your mum. If it makes you feel better, I lost my mum to cancer a year before I had my op. I even sold some of her jewellery to pay for it! And I didn't feel bad for even one minute, because my mum would have wanted me to be happy. So would yours.

BabyOnBoob · 30/05/2015 11:58

I had breast implants in 2007. My boobs are pretty fucked now with bf ( still feeding 11 month old) but I'm so glad I had it done and had those years feeling like I did.

Yes definitely do your research and choose a good/recommended surgeon. I used 2 websites called look your best and so feminine, iirc at the time.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

bumbleymummy · 30/05/2015 12:00

Yanbu if it would make you happier.

Fwiw my breasts were a bit 'softer' than usual after breastfeeding for 6+ years over children but they did firm up again and pretty much look the same as they did.

bumbleymummy · 30/05/2015 12:00

Oh, they were a bit lopsided for a time as well but that resolved too :)

ADogCalledLamb · 30/05/2015 12:02

Go for it, I don't regret having them done for one second.

AmyElliotDunne · 30/05/2015 12:14

Some people choose to have a double mastectomy and then implants if there is a strong family history of BC. Would it be worth trying to get a test to see if you carry the gene that makes it more likely? You could the have what little tissue you do have moved first to prevent that happening to you. Don't know if this is possible, but it might help you to feel more at ease with your choice. Also, I don't know if I'm imagining it, but isn't it harder to spot breast cancer if you have implants? In which case even more important to protect yourself.

But whatever you choose, as long as you're doing it for yourself, go for it.

As someone with E cups, I've never been very big in the past, but have recently put on some weight and they're now pretty big. I do feel better having them (despite the matching wobbly stomach) but I'd also love to be able to go bra less in he summer, every top or dress I buy has to be considered for which bra would work under it and by the end of the day I'm desperate to take it off, but then they're hanging there getting all sweaty underneath and I wish sometimes they were a bit smaller!

We're just never happy are we? Do you honestly think that if you have bigger boobs you will be happy with yourself or are you then going to transfer that dissatisfaction onto another area?

AmyElliotDunne · 30/05/2015 12:15

Sorry for typos, removed not moved.

Original poster

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 30/05/2015 13:43

I am actually waiting for an appointment for genetic screening so depending on the result I could have whatever is there removed but I honestly can't feel anything. I don't know whether I'll have any more children so I would rather have it done sooner rather than later but would getting pregnant later on affect the implants? There's a lot to consider but I really want to do this. I don't want to go too big but I have wide hips and I'm quite tall so would like to be in proportion.

OP posts:

ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 14:06

Not unreasonable at all op. Really sorry about your mum. She would want you to do whatever makes you happy

Koalafications · 30/05/2015 14:08

YANBU, it's your body. Do whatever makes you happy.

Moomintroll85 · 30/05/2015 14:38

So sorry to hear about your mum OP

You should of course do what makes you happy. I just hope the reason for you being unhappy with your boobs hasn't been caused by other people's attitudes/comments.

I always thought it was pregnancy itself that was the main cause of sagging boobs rather than breastfeeding specifically?

All the best to you whatever you choose to do.

Whatutalkinboutwillis · 30/05/2015 15:17

I am 1 week post breast reduction and uplift. It was my 40th birthday treat to myself. My only regret is that I have not done it sooner. Good luck with whatever you decide

TheWitTank · 30/05/2015 15:33

YANBU. I wouldn't personally, but it's your body and you do what makes you happy. As others have said, do your research, go and speak to surgeons face to face first and don't be tempted into going too big. My friend is a size 6/8 and has 30E breast implants. They are just too much, she hates them and tries to cover them up all the time as people stare. She can't wear vest tops or anything strappy as they just take over. She wishes she had gone for a C now. Also, make sure you have money available for 'upkeep'. Another friend had hers done 14 years ago and they really need redoing. Badly. They are not permanent more long life -they MAY need replacing over the 10 year mark. They are man made, and can fail. Good luck and enjoy OP!

Aermingers · 30/05/2015 15:44

Not unreasonable no. But I was once told by a (very good) cosmetic surgeon that it was inadvisable to have a boob job unless you could pay for maintenance.

He said that a lot of women had problems because they weren't well paid but when they were young, free and single they managed to scrape together enough for an op. If they ran into problems later on with body changes from weight loss/gain/being pregnant etc they could be left with something very ugly and unpleasant looking that they couldn't afford to do anything about. Also if there are problems like PIP, the NHS will only take them out, leaving you with empty sacs. They won't replace the implants.

He said the best way to look at them was like buying a car which will deteriorate and need to be replaced with new, rather than a house you will live with forever.

And given the state of some of my friends chests they had done 10-15 years ago I'd be inclined to agree.

Original poster

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 30/05/2015 21:52

Thanks everyone. Obviously the money is something I have to consider but honestly, I'd rather have old saggy implants than what I have now. Most people think I'm exagerrating but if you saw my chest you would be completely shocked. I need to start my research because I'm pretty clueless at the minute.

OP posts:

Mermaidhair · 31/05/2015 00:30

I had mine done when I finished breastfeeding my 4th dc. It was 10 years ago now. Still have the same set in, I have never ever regretted my decision. I was so self conscious, I was in a AA cup. Go for it! It does hurt a lot though, so make sure you have help at home, I underestimated how painful it would be, but it is worth it and I would do it all over again. Good luck

gofuckyourself · 31/05/2015 07:31

It's a sorry state of affairs when someone's happiness and confidence is all wrapped up in the size of their breasts.

Original poster

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 31/05/2015 08:45

Thanks Mermaid

Gofuckyourself why even bother commenting on this thread? I've been through an awful lot in my life and if doing this would make me happier and more confident then why is that so bad?

OP posts:

fatlazymummy · 31/05/2015 09:09

gofuckyourself where does the op say that? 'Severely affected' doesn't mean 'all'. Do you have breasts? Did they develop normally? If so, you probably take them for granted, and have no understanding of how someone like the OP might feel.
Go for it, OP. I would echo what another poster said though, and not go too big. Best of luck

Koalafications · 31/05/2015 09:15

gofuckyourself what an apt username and a really unhelpful post.

TheCatsMother99 · 31/05/2015 09:19

YANBU.

Your body, your choice. If it'll make you happy then go for it.

Gofuckyourself, it's also a sorry state of affairs that people find happiness in a bar of chocolate, a bottle of wine etc but that's life! You sound like you need to find your own happiness IMO

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