Dp and I arguining yet again over nonsense. Aibu

[CassieOrtho]

So we've both had a few to drink.
dp starts going on about glastonbury festival (which we have tickets to) and I point out that as the line up is shit this year, a lot of people I have spoken to are glad they never got tickets. He becomes confrontational and asks "who" these people are. I say "just people from work". He starts ranting saying "what the fuck do they know?? They know fuck all about glastonbury, they all speak a load of bollovks!" What could they possibly know!". He always gets like this about glastonbury and to be fair, it's ducking draining, immature and embarrassing. I go on to tell him that the 'people' have been before and are as 'educated' on the subject as he is. He rants that no they are not, nobody knows glastonbury like he does and everyone else speaks a load of bollocks. I bite and say he speaks a load of bollocks. Nail one into tonight's coffin. Later a takeaway arrives and he declares he will have nothing to do with dishing it up. So I dish it up but forget(??) to put forks on everyone's plate. The kids don't mention it. He however moans and complains with comments such as "before I met you, I'd always have a girl for my tea"????!!! I snapped "fuck off back to your ex then, she's very welcome to you". The argument continued.
We go to bed and all the time I'm trying to ease it between us, saying let's not argue etc. he is having none of it and insists on carrying it on as usual. When we get in bed I put my arm around him saying "let's not argue, give me a hug" and he refuses and laughs at me. I've now told him to sleep downstairs but I'm gutted. It's been a hard week and I was looking forward to spending tonight with him. He hates me and I don't even know why, I'm getting sick of trying to guess it

He instigated the 'bed move' by saying if I kept on trying to hug him he'd go and sleep downstairs. This is what I'm up against.

Don't you mean that's what he's up against?

He told you he didn't want to be hugged. You ignored him and kept trying to hug him, so he actually had to leave his bed.

That's not on. If I'm unhappy with my DH/in a bad mood or whatever and I refuse a hug, he knows to respect my boundaries.

If he ignored them, I wouldn't be the one leaving the bedroom.

I really do think you need to sober up and look at this properly tomorrow, as a couple.

I think this is more than just a drunken row, but you'll need to sleep on it before you can tackle the real problems in your marriage.

I'm just so shocked at a grown man moaning about not having a fork. I hope you told him to get of his arse and get one?

He sounds such a catch

I don't think you were being kind in the first place having a go at something you know he loves and is looking forward to.

Sorry OP but I think you were both in the wrong, and it sounds if there's quite a bit of jealousy on your part about his ex. That's got to stop because it will eat at you.

Are you arguing because you've got into a negative pattern of communication or is this more of a one off? What do you want to do about it?

@bake - I expect everything else after the initial annoyance is belligerence caused by it. He probably didn't give a rat's as about the fork and was looking for a reason to say FU.

Drunk people are ridiculous in my opinion ;)

@seen you think so? I think the opposite might be true. Agitating someone about their passion seems likely to annoy them, and people can be morons when they're drunk.

In vino veritas, sure, but also in vino complete bollocks.

If he loves Glastonbury and already has tickets I can see why telling him how shit the line up is would wind him up.
Far too much drink involved by the sounds of it, you both sound childish and like you were spoiling for an argument.

Do you really think that your kids didn't hear your childish row ? You should both grow up and lay off the booze if it makes you so arsey.

Honestly I think this is six of one and half a dozen of the other.

It sounds like you were spoiling for a fight with the Glastonbury thing. Why tell him something you know will piss him off unless you're trying to upset him? You say you wanted a nice night in, but saying something that will provoke him isn't going to lead to a night of peace and harmony!

He was childish to refuse to dish up dinner and to have a go at you over the fork, but my bet is that he was annoyed over the Glastonbury scenario. Still shouldn't have continued the argument in front of the DC, though.

I'm like you as in I hate going to bed on an argument or without clearing the air, but DP hates discussing things and will just leave it until the morning. If he's still upset, he won't want a hug or physical contact and I just have to accept that I can't force him to hug me if he doesn't want to. I think forcing him into it just made him angrier - you'd have been better off letting him sleep and dealing with it in the morning, although that's easier said than done when you're upset and emotional.

Talk to him - apologise for your behaviour and give him a chance to apologise for his as well. Maybe you should both cut down the drinking and focus on speaking nicely to each other, without the snapping and provocation.

Sounds horrible but really I think you were wrong to criticise something you have tickets ( bloofy expensive onse) for. It's likely to get anyone's bsck up. What you are basically saying id that you aren't looking forward to it and ge has wasted his money... not tge best conversion starter.

You are both as bad as each other. And your kids were in the house so they know what was going on. Their parents drinking and arguing. That's not good.