to ask partner to stop being on his phone so much?

[patch123]

Maybe I'm old fashioned but my partner used to check his phone every 5 mins. For what I'm not sure. He would sit going through facebook or texting while we were together, mid conversation so I eventually mentioned I found this quite rude and antisocial. He then took Facebook off his phone but sometimes throws it back at saying "I made him take it off". He now knows I have a problem with constant phone use and by this I mean sitting texting people while we are together or looking at football or checking emails but he thinks I am being controlling and weird. Am I? Is it not reasonable to want to look someone in the eye and enjoy being in the moment in real life? Now he grabs his phone as soon as I leave the room or go to the toilet which actually just makes it look suspicious now. I would like to add I only see him at weekends and once in the week so surely that's enough time to do "phone things" when he's on his own?

People are addicted these days. It's a real problem in the making I think!

Ds and I were in town the other day counting how many people walked past whilst on their phone at the same time.... Not talking, but scrolling/texting!

I can only sympathise. My dh is addicted to world of tanks and it is causing arguements. He also takes his ipad to the toilet. I'm afraid
I can't offer a solution but you anu. A conversation would be nice.

I agree although I'm guilty of it sometimes (on my phone now!!) for me it's 10 minutes escapism, but with all gadgets able to log onto the net it's so easily turns into hours of doing nothing on your phone.
Can you not agree on one evening phones off and just be with one another? Perhaps every Friday night, get a takeaway and watch a film?

My DP is addicted to the game Three's. She is constantly on it, when watching films, talking to me....it's ridiculous

Im.addicted to my phone. Dh loves his xbox. If it becomes an issue then yes he could calm his usage down. Ours is fine as we still communicate whilst using these things and doesnt interefere with us as a couple.

YADNBU patch I find it worrying, irritating and rude. It seems to be a real addiction among some people.

Last week in our local park, 4 young people came along with their picnic, spread out their blanket on the ground, sat down and all of them took out their mobile devices - started tapping away and barely said a word to one another, for at least 2 hours. It can't be healthy IMO.

Thank you! It is ridiculous nowadays and I'm not that old! (As sounding like I'm from the dark ages!) People have time alone when they can go on devices to their hearts content. No wonder relationships fail if people aren't actually engaging in it! And he says I am unreasonable and controlling him.

But it sounds like thd dufference is you all keep your mouths shut and let your partners get on with it? Is that right?

My other half does this.

It is not my place to say anything, so I don't. On the other hand our "time together" has become, for me, an exercise in:

• entertaining myself while I am being ignored, pretending I am happy about being ignored
• looking happy and interested rather than annoyed in the fleeting moments where partner looks up from phone and deigns to speak to me
• trying to strike up conversations and watching my words die in the air of uncomfortable silence as partner has already turned back to something on their phone
• not snatching the fucking phone and dropping the fucking thing in a cup of coffee

Say something now, say that you'd like them to put phone down while you are spending time together because it's very rude, don't try to be nice like me because if you give an inch ten miles will be taken before you know it.

and OP, YANBU!

Claws... feel for you as I tried to do that for a while but unfortunately couldn't hold it in any longer..

Remember this?

Once when a friend and and I were out on a double date together. I mentioned politely that maybe she should just switch off her Blackberry and give her date her attention? But she didn't/couldn't stop. Even when the little light wasn't flashing she'd be on it fiddling with it, checking it was working. Her date got so cheesed off with it, he snatched it off her and threw it down the street and a bus ran over it.

Sounds like your friend dodged a bullet with Mr Angry there.

My H and I were discussing the impending break up of our marriage two nights ago. He was on his phone at the time.

I see both sides here, a bit, in that it is really a bit controlling to demand that someone does/does not use their phone in a certain manner; equally it's incredibly rude to ignore someone to play with your phone when you're spending time together.

Of course there is the option of not choosing to spend your time with someone who treats you this way

How long have you been together OP?

Why is it controlling to expect normal, reasonable good manners from your partner?

It's not controlling to expect it. That's fair enough. But telling someone else how to behave is controlling, surely, by simple definition.

All you can reasonably control is your response to the situation.

Both of us are sometimes guilty of this. One time I started texting her while we were sat in the same room together just to make the point of how ridiculous it was.

Sometimes we find that making a pot of tea and sitting together with the phones in another room is a good way to break free and spend some time together.