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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to hope that a small wedding venue might be cosy rather then crammed?

25 replies

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 10:12

Having wedding in posh fish and chip shop. On line capacity says 35. The man says can fit forty so I booked. I have forty guests, eight of whom are children. Children will be in adjoining room with child minder but there's an archway that separates room, not door.
New owners says it will be tight but doable. We are not doing dancing, just sit down meal but I'm stressing that people will be elbow to elbow.
Is this just last minute nerves?
Have you had a small venue and did it work?
One of couples complained that their children wont be sat with them but I cant fit any more kids on adult table otherwise some adults would have to sit in kids area!

Please be kind. Am literally stressing at people feeling comfy.

OP posts:

AnUtterIdiot · 28/05/2015 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 10:16

Thanks utter!

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Chipsahoythere · 28/05/2015 10:16

I went to a very very cramped wedding, it was difficult to get out of your seat to go to the toilet.... You were pretty much sitting on top of other people! Atmosphere was great though, and I just remember it as a lovely day.

Stubbed · 28/05/2015 10:16

Ignore people complaining. They have been invited to celebrate with you. It's not for them to complain

formerbabe · 28/05/2015 10:19

One of couples complained that their children wont be sat with them

Sounds like a bonus to me! Did you organise the childminder to sit with the kids? I'd be so grateful and happy to go to a wedding where the kids could eat separately with childcare!

formerbabe · 28/05/2015 10:20

Now I'm craving fish and chips by the way! Your wedding sounds like it will be fab!

Pootles2010 · 28/05/2015 10:20

It'll be fine - and I'd bet you get a few no shows anyway, so you'll be pretty close to 35 anyway! The kids will love all sitting together, they'll have a great time.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 10:20

Yes I did formerbabe but this man is very difficult and made a fuss that children should be part of adult group, not shoved to the corner.

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Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 10:24

Also my own kids wont be at top table but with child minder. I know nothing about etiquette but did not want to be fussing over kids on that day

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formerbabe · 28/05/2015 10:25

Yes I did formerbabe but this man is very difficult and made a fuss that children should be part of adult group, not shoved to the corner

How unbelievabley cheeky! I think my dc would much rather sit with other children in a separate section than with the adults...I'd prefer it to!

MissBattleaxe · 28/05/2015 10:26

Yes I did formerbabe but this man is very difficult and made a fuss that children should be part of adult group, not shoved to the corner.

Tell him you completely agree and you will ask the chip shop to apply for planning permission for an extension to be built so that the children can sit with the adults and his wishes can be met.

The bastard.

strawberrytablecloth · 28/05/2015 10:33

I would love my children to sit in another room. The just 6yo probably would but only recently; the just 3yo would refuse &, given a choice between a screaming tantrum and having him on my knee, I would go for the latter as it would be less disruptive. Other children who aren't as shy as mine wouldn't have this problem.
A few logistical questions... are they benches or chairs? If benches, tell everyone they'll need to cram up a bit before they sit down & get settled. Is there going to be a seating plan? If not, will the last people to arrive have to squeeze into the spare places? I don't mind being squeezed in and having a good time with friends but do if I'm wedged in amongst a family group catching up on family gossip whilst my husband is shoved somewhere else. How far are your guests?
How is the room allocation supposed to work? If it is supposed to be 10 in the side room & 25 in the main restaurant and you are putting 8 in the side room and 32 in the main restaurant you have more of an issue than if it is supposed to be 5 in the side room and 30 in the main restaurant as in one of those examples you are squeezing in 7 adults and in another you are only squeezing in 2.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 11:11

Its thirty in big bit. The kiddy area is the bar area. I will have a seating plan. Trust me, he is the most difficult man ive ever met but hes my future bro in law and don't want to cause rift

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MissBattleaxe · 28/05/2015 11:41

You future BIL will have to realise that its only one meal and its not even his wedding so he can stick it up his arse. Do not enable him or he will keep doing this in future.

Katiepoes · 28/05/2015 11:46

Put BIL in with the kids and make room that way.

Joking aside my venue was small and people were very close to each other but it seemed to work, the atmosphere was great. Posh fish and chips sounds great!

EggOnTheFloor · 28/05/2015 11:48

Sounds nice! A smaller wedding venue adds to the fact that is a close wedding with family friends, and that often makes it more enjoyable as it's people who genuinely love you, not random cousins who are obliged to be there!

Your DH should speak to BIL and get him to wind his neck in.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 12:12

I do like the idea of him sitting with the kids!

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 28/05/2015 12:17

I think it sounds fine - lovely in fact!

Fatmomma99 · 28/05/2015 12:18

I was going to suggest that too, Katie. But not as a joke. I wondered if Difficult Man (soon to be BIL - oh joy!) is concerned about his DC. Are they fussy eaters? Are they likely to start fighting? Is there an SEN issue?

If there is space, I'd honestly give him the option of sitting in with the kids if he'd prefer it. Sure the childminder would appreciate some extra help.

All sounds lovely, btw. I'm also now craving chips! Mmmmm batter bits.

Have a super wedding.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 12:39

Thanks guys. Kids are great eaters and no SEN.

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gabsdot45 · 28/05/2015 13:48

I think it sounds lovely. It'll be really intimate. You'll get a chance to spend time with everyone. And everyone likes fish and chips
I hope it goes brilliantly

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 28/05/2015 13:53

What's the age range for the children? If school age then should be fine if younger they might not be ready to not be with parents.

MistressDeeCee · 28/05/2015 13:56

Sounds a really lovely idea. I don't think many people will worry about being cramped at all. Bet its a nice cosy lighthearted atmosphere.

The kids will be fine, they'll enjoy playing and running around together in the other room. Im always at a loss as to why some adults believe that their children will have more fun sitting at the table with parents and other adults?!

Oh lawd...not another "difficult guest" I keep reading about them lately. Well he can sit with the children in the other room then, can't he? Make sure you don't allow him to attempt to make a fuss and stress you on the day - at all. Hopefully he'll rein in his behaviour and at the very least someone else will tell him to shut up if he starts whinging anyway.

Congrats

sadwidow28 · 28/05/2015 15:31

robin I went to a family wedding last August - a very POSH do - and we were elbow-to-elbow. Nothing could put me off enjoying my niece's celebrations and I made new friends to my right . So please don't worry about the space - the patrons have said 'it is doable'.

How thoughtful you are to arrange a child-minder in a different area so that the children can just 'be themselves' on this special occasion.

As for future BIL - ignore! ignore! ignore! He probably likes picking a scab as well if it means he gets attention for his bleeding finger.

I really hope you have a fabulous time and enjoy your day in the way you so richly deserve.

Original poster

robinlovesfatman · 28/05/2015 17:51

Thanks guys! Feel better now.

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