To feel a bit let down by my friends?

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I've moved around quite a lot in the last few years but have finally settled down near to where I went to university. I have a group of friends who I'm close to and see often. They're all guys and all gay but we're all in the same profession and have lots to talk about and get on really well.

Thing is, I'm really sick of doing the same old thing socially - I don't want to be out til 4am trolleying round the gay bars any more! I just feel we've done all that and it's just not fun any more. We're in our early 30's now and even the guys moan that they never meet decent professional men but these bars are just not the scene for that.

But if I suggest different bars they just won't consider them. They're "too expensive" or "not their scene." There is no compromise. I keep trying to get us to do things that don't involve going out drinking as well - trips to cities, groupon experience days, but no interest. We all earn good money and are childless so I can't help but feel there are so many options open to us.

I love my friends but I need to expand my social life. I'm fine being single and alone and have been for many years, but would like to go to social events where there maybe a possiblity of meeting someone. AIBU to be hurt that they just don't seem to consider my feelings?

So try and make some other friends?

Well, yes, I know I need to do this. But it's really not easy, I'm finding. Wherever I go to meet new friends, I will have to go alone and I suppose I just need to build up the confidence.

Yes, it's a bit rubbish that they won't do a few things for you, even if it's not their scene. Good friendships have a little give and take.

I wouldn't waste too much time being hurt though, get out there on your own and start doing new things. It's your life. Persevere. Building new friendships takes time. Don't give up!

Thank you *quiet" I know you're right. It just feels a bit "sad" to be searching for pals at age 30, though I know this ridiculous. I need to bite the bullet, don't I?

It's not sad to look for new friends at ANY age. We change all the time...it's normal to move on socially.

You're absolutely right, MrsNextDoor. Thanks

I was in my early 30s when i moved out from the center of a city to the countryside, as i realised i just wasn't that into it anymore.

Your friends still are, but making new friends is damn hard work i think it really helps if you can find a new hobby you love :)

Start a night class that's a great way of meeting like minded people and everyone goes by themselves.
I made loads of new friends that way

And consider volunteering tree planting. You meet some lovely people doing that.

I've moved to the country too, 0x530x610x750x630x79 and I think it's the rural stuff my friends are so set against getting into. I love it though.
The tree planting actually sounds right up my street - am definitely going to research that, thanks.
They clay pigeon shoot right out the back of my house too and Id love to give that a try... ooh I'm feeling a bit more inspired!

i It just feels a bit "sad" to be searching for pals at age 30, though I know this ridiculous.

You can find yourself needing new pals at any age - I'm in my 40s and in this situation now. Find some activities to turn up to, e.g. dancing, sports, interesting talks, gallery stuff, whatever you like. You'll soon meet like minded people and start to expand your social circle.

Im late 30s and been thinking I need some new pals. Never too old.

If you live in a village join some committes (they are always desperate for new members).

I made loads of friends when i started horse riding.

Meetup.com Best website I ever found- find groups/ activities that interest you. If there isn't one near you, set one up!

I moved to a new area 12 months ago and knew no one (am early 30s). I now regularly go out for meals, walks, dance classes, pub quizzes, etc, meeting new people all the time and also have a good circle of closer friends from it.

This is a reality of moving to the country, I guess.

I'm in this situation now - city boy met a country girl, a group of friends who were never going to be a part of my new life - some because they were self-interested "party friends" (ie not real friends) like the ones mentioned in the OP, but not all.

It's funny, I worried about DW feeling isolated if we both lived in the city, but now I'm the one who needs some (male) friends.

I'd at least be thankful that you have some chance of making new ones, I am not the kind of man who makes friends lightly, and don't tend to get on well with the sort of people who do make friends lightly, so I'm basically fucked.