Feeling completely worthless because I can't find a job

[Onlytemporary]

I've name changed for this because I feel so ashamed admitting how I'm feeling.

I was made redundant a couple of months ago. I'm in a professionally qualified field, and I was well paid.

I'd hoped that I'd find a new job pretty easily: I'm good at what I do, and I have plenty of experience.

In fact, the opposite has been true. I've really struggled. I managed to get an interim role that would have lasted for a few months, which would at least have moved me in the right direction, but that fell through last week when the company decided that it didn't need the role after all. After dragging me on a 100 mile round trip, three times, for interviews. Feckers.

I'm so sick of calling up about jobs and being told that I'm not good enough, because I haven't done exactly that job in that industry before and employers are picky etc. This even applies to roles that are paying much less than I was earning before.

I'm now about to be interviewed for a job paying £30 k less than I was on before, in a sector I don't really want to work in, in a town that's a horrible and expensive commute away, because I'm worried that I won't ever get anything else.

I feel like crying all the time. It's really hard because when I'm calling recruitment consultants etc. I have to pretend to be cheery and breezy when I just want to say, "can't you find me anything? Anything decent at all?". They are all so insincere and I have to play along with it, when I'm just desperate to be back in work. It's horrendous.

I hate to feel like I'm begging people for a chance, but I feel like nobody will give me a chance. I feel so worthless, like nobody wants me. I've always had a good career, and I've been a top performer in the past, but now it feels like all that hard work was for nothing and I'm on the scrapheap.

It's galling because I know that I'm much better than many people in a better position than me. It seems so unfair. I'm in my early 40s.

Has anybody had a similar experience, and how did you cope?

I've been there, it's soul destroying after a while. As far as getting back into the same field I'm afraid I have no advice really. I had the opposite problem, I deliberately left a particular role to get as far away as possible from it. Had I wanted to do the same thing somewhere else, the offers were everywhere, but to work even in the same sector but in a different role, zilch, was happy to take far less pay, wasn't bothered whether it was in a role further down the pecking order etc.

I applied for so many jobs, I knew if I wanted to do something different I'd need to start at the bottom and so applied for entry level jobs, but got rejection after rejection, or no reply at all. In the end I kind of fell into a temporary maternity cover, stop gap type of role, 5 years later I'm still there, permanent though and have moved through the ranks. So, although not helpful in terms of practical advice, I just wanted to say, I know it's really really hard at times but do NOT give up, keep going.

Ask someone you know or a recruitment agency to take a look at your cv to see if there's anything there that could improve it, sometimes fresh eyes can make a world of difference. Do not beat yourself up though, you will get there and you won't be unemployed forever, even if it feels that way sometimes. Your CV or how you come across in interview will eventually resonate with someone and you will get a job. Take each day at a time and give yourself a day off from it now and then to focus on other things so that it doesn't overwhelm you. Good luck, but don't ever feel ashamed, as long as you're still searching and not giving up then you're always in with a shot, picking yourself up and carrying on is something to take pride in, not be ashamed of.

Firstly, hugs and
Your confidence has taken a hit, first from redundancy, then failing to walk straight into another well paid job.
I had a good, well paid city job quite a few years ago now and was made redundant. It was quite a specialised role and I knew I would find it hard to find a similar job on similar money. I decided to take some time off, as kids were young then started again in a much lower paid job locally and in different industry but without the responsibility or stress. Over the years I have moved up ladder again.
I realise my circumstances are different but maybe use this time to think about what you really want to do.
Good luck with the job hunting.

I can't offer you any practical advice, but I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

It's not because there's any fault with you, it's because there are SO many people chasing every job.

But it sucks. I blame David-Wanker-Face-Cameron. (someone on here described his face as looking like a "newly wanked cock", which works for me and hope it helps you too).

my DP experienced this 2 years ago. It is really hard. It took him 8 months to find something, which started part time and is now keeping him 100% busy. he is also now earning more than he ever did before.

All I can say is to keep at it. And keep your skills up - for example by doing something in that field on a voluntary basis.

You might want to think about the option of retraining if there really is nothing in that field

Sorry to hear this, but don't feel dejected. It takes time to find another job (even one you don't want!). It took me 6 months and that was when work was plentiful. But it's a horrible feeling to be made redundant - just don't beat yourself up about it. Dust yourself off and keep going. Most importantly, two months is no time at all, particularly when you're professional.

Fill your time in-between applications with something that you enjoy (don't get addicted to MN!).

The right thing will come along at the right time, really it will.

I was order than you when I left a well paid professional job and was repeatedly turned down for entry level jobs. I fell into my current company as a sessional worker on a third of the salary and have now worked my way up and am still there after more than eleven years.

There is hope.

Hi. Have you ever considered volunteer work? Now, don't get defensive, I'm well aware that people need to earn a wage to get on in life and to maintain the standard of living they are used to, but I've found confidence breaks down slowly and surely by being jobless and you could actually take this time in your life to appreciate areas you weren't particularly interested in before. Whilst you are searching for work, consider plunging your expertise and experience into something you might have wanted to do if you hadn't chosen this field.

For example, I am currently talking to my council about volunteer work involving the environment. Yes, it's probably going to be litter picking or cleaning out sandpits but that's what I want. It'll give me a chance to feel both useful to my community and help me to develop myself in several directions, making me more attractive as an employee almost anywhere.

You can still do your job while you wait to find a paid position, just look it up online.

Take care

boomerwang You've just reminded me! The 6 month gap I referred to above was ended just as I was due to start volunteering. I'd completely forgotten about that - I was actually looking forward to it as well, but was offered a job almost as soon as they were ready to take me.

I put it down to sod's law, but was very happy to have been offered a paying job nevertheless.

Really sorry to hear what you're going through. Try not to feel rejected; this could happen to almost any of us.

2 months isn't very long, so don't panic. It's quite common for a job search to take a few months or more, especially if you are looking for something paying above average salary.

Try to reserve a few hours at the weekend to relax and get out of the house: go to the gym and work off stress, to for a swim or jog, or meet up with friends.

Some suggestions:

. Network: If you've friends in similar fields, contacts from uni, spread the word you are looking and give out your CV. Don't be embarassed to say you are looking for a new career opportunity.

. CV: Can an agency or a qualified friend check over your CV, see if it needs tightening or brightening.

. Qualifications: Are your professional qualifications up to date - are they what employers are looking for now, or do you need a course to brush things up and improve your chances ? If you were in your previous job a long time, requirements may have changed.
Is there a course that would broaden the range of jobs you could apply for ?

. Job Applications: Spend time to customise your CV to their requirements, Check what they are looking for. If you get an interview, Google / study the company in advance to get an idea of their preferences and philosophy. Prepare what to say to convince them you are what they are looking for

. Consultancy: Can you work in your profession on a self-employed or consulting basis ? Maybe from home ?

. Interim Job: If you need to pay the bills, take a job you don't really fancy, just for the short term. It's usually easier to find a new job if you already have one. Invest say 3 months to make sure you are a valued employee and decide if you can work your way up. If not, you can spend weekends hunting for a job you really would like, without time pressure of bills.

Just believe in your abilities and keep trying. Best of luck.

Thanks, you are all very kind.

I never thought that it would be this hard!

I also remembered someone else, who got laid off from a very senior position after 15 years with the same company. It took him about 6 months to get a new job (he was in his 50s) . But when he did get it the role was much better and in the end very lucrative.

as pp said, networking is key if you are senior. And don't be ashamed to tell people you got laid off and are looking for work. keep going to industry events etc

I'm in the same position and feel I could have written your post.

Keep on.. Something will come up!! I'm now starting to look for interim and 'step down' roles but am afraid no one will be interested in hiring me for a step down role.

Thanks.

The 'you must network' advice is good, I'm sure, but it almost makes me feel worse! I don't know anybody who is hiring, and most of my peers in previous roles are still at the organisations I left, to which I don't want to return. So I feel like a failure because people suggest that I should be able to simply pick up the phone and arrange a new job. Like I haven't got the right contacts, or I'm not influential enough.

I dread becoming somebody who turns up to 'networking events', which in my experience are full of people looking for jobs (and looking over each other's shoulders, deciding who to schmooze), trying to sell herself to strangers.

I am looking at interim jobs. The role I found, which was later pulled, was an interim role.

Have you thought about contacting a careers consultant? I know they are expensive but very much see them as an investment. There were some good ones at Mumsnet Workfest recently. You sound totally fed up, and they can really build confidence as well as providing coaching and tips. Try Zena Everett for example, she told the audience we could contact her for her slides so you could do this?
I was made redundant last year. It was shit at the time but you just have to keep on and on and on. My new job is miles better but I still feel scarred by the experience. And yes I got it through the dreaded networking, LinkedIn was my friend. Nothing from the recruitment consultants, I just emailed every interesting person I vaguely knew asking them for coffee and advice. My boss from three roles ago had something, in a totally different industry which I had really wanted to get into. but yes, making the initial contacts felt difficult. I had to really plug away at it.