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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ignore MIL's attempt at changing terms after signing them off

64 replies

JustCallMeBroken · 27/05/2015 21:06

Her 15yo son applied for a work experience placement where I work.
He's been placed in my department under my direct supervision. Someone from the school and from their externally contracted company came out to check the place over, insurance etc, and handed me a list of dos and don'ts, along with the terms of the placement.
5 days, 9-5, normal work lunch breaks, and he's supposed to work (within the guidelines on their other list).
MIL was sent the same list and both her and BIL had to sign it to say they agreed, as well as me signing it.

This week she came over with the list and asked me to let him start at 10 and finish at 4, "because he's only a child" and "he's not used to working".
She also said that he "would be happy if I let him sit at a computer all day".

WIBU to ignore all of this and put him to work as I would any other apprentice in their first week?

OP posts:
EmpressOfJurisfiction · 27/05/2015 21:45

BIL is the teenager doing the work experience.

Original poster
JustCallMeBroken · 27/05/2015 21:50

koala BIL is doing the work experience, MIL is his mother.
I guess it's an attempt by the school to make it nice and official.

OP posts:
Koalafications · 27/05/2015 21:55

Oh right! Sorry Blush that makes a lot more sense! I thought it was your DS who was doing the work experience.

PowderMum · 27/05/2015 22:01

OP I wouldn't be too worried if BIL only does short hours, I have hosted a fair few over the years and they always seem to need to miss a day, go to the doctor/dentist/somewhere else during their time. My DC1 did her work experience in the local library and only did about 2.5 days as she had to fit in with what they could offer, but then many jobs are not 9-5

Andrewofgg · 27/05/2015 22:05

Don't give an inch.

You will probably find that the lad knows nothing abut this and would be bitterly embarrassed if he did. Or rather you won't find that because you will never tell him about it.

BlackNoSugar · 27/05/2015 22:15

I'd be worried in case something happened on the way to/from work, so at say 9:30am - he's supposed to be with you at that time so there might be a problem with accountability? Definitely check with the school if the change of hours is acceptable, just to cover yourself as an employer.

TheCatsMother99 · 27/05/2015 22:18

Ignore her.

She's setting a terrible example for him. IMO she should be showing him what real work is.

Andrewofgg · 27/05/2015 22:19

No, don't check with school, don't let her take control, say No and mean it. How will it look to your employers if you asked for favours for a relation?

He's only a child - ffs.

He's not used to working - Er, no, that;s rather the point of work experience, or am I missing something?

MrsHathaway · 27/05/2015 22:19

School-age work experience is often only during school hours, isn't it?

SEND HIM DOWN THE MINES.

Andrewofgg · 27/05/2015 22:20

Nearly right, MrsHathaway.

Up the chimneys!

thewavesofthesea · 27/05/2015 22:30

Just giggling away at igniting MILs

As you were.

misses point of thread

YsabellStoHelit · 27/05/2015 22:34

Work experience is just that. You do 5 days at the hours that company does as standard. It's one week ffs. Tell her you don't have the authority to change things as her and bil signed a contract amd of its a problem she should take it up with schoolor find him alternative work placement.

Icimoi · 27/05/2015 22:36

I tremble for the child if his mother thinks that he can't work more than 5 hours a day (I'm assuming he still wants a lunch hour in his reduced day). He's never going to get through GCSEs on that basis.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/05/2015 22:38

All of mine were only allowed to do actual school hours which for two of them were 11am-4pm some days and 8:30-4 the other days.

AyeAmarok · 27/05/2015 22:47

Oh she's one of those parents...

thewavesofthesea · 27/05/2015 22:51

Has anyone asked the 15yo what he wants?

Koalafications · 27/05/2015 22:56

Does it matter what the 15yo wants?!

He doesn't get to negotiate his school hours.

waitaminutenow · 27/05/2015 23:17

You'll probably find that BIL's friend is doing 10-4 in his placement so he wants to do the same!! My parents wouldn't do any liasing with people at the age of 15. If I wanted to ask a question then I rang myself...I didn't get mummy to do it. What is it with people these days...are the determined to raise completely incapable children/adults!?! Sometimes I really worry about the future of this world!!

mygrandchildrenrock · 28/05/2015 11:59

Our work experience students do 8.15 - 3.45 with half an hour for lunch. No negotiations, no changes. Oh, except once when one student couldn't get a bus here for 8.15, it was either going to be 8 or 9, as they came at 8!

ollieplimsoles · 28/05/2015 12:05

"because he's only a child" and "he's not used to working".
She also said that he "would be happy if I let him sit at a computer all day".

What good will that do him then?! Its supposed to be work experience not just sitting doing what you do all day at home but in a different building. Shes crazy....

ApprenticeViper · 28/05/2015 12:17

YADNBU

Standard working hours are longer than school hours; it's one of life's truths. The whole point of work experience is to prepare you for what life is going to be like once you've left school, and 10-4 ain't it.

Get him to do the hours as stated on the contract, or advise him to find another placement and see how his (or indeed his DM's) request for shorter hours goes down there.

Light her up OP! Grin

gobbin · 28/05/2015 12:21

I'm Head of Careers in a school and we send 200 children out on work exp every year - you'd be amazed at some of the normal, work-related activities some parents feel their precious darlings can't possibly do, mostly related to travel.

As a typical example, one parent flatly refused an absolutely fantastic placement (attended previously, and since, by other students) because it involved a two-bus journey with a bit of a wait in between. We're not talking about a child who may genuinely have had a problem with this, he was Head Boy the following year...

We often get comments like "PFB isn't going there, they'll be filling shelves all day." Er...who do you think fills the shelves usually, love?! Oh yes...the staff who WORK there. Sigh.

Fatmomma99 · 28/05/2015 12:24

Agree with all the comments saying ignore her, tell her no, get the school to tell her no and also wonder if BIL aware.

Actually, I think it's a nice opportunity for you and he to get to know each other in a different context. Might make you both closer.

Let us know how the week goes

loveareadingthanks · 28/05/2015 12:52

I'd be tempted to back out of the placement, to be honest, although I realise that's also going to cause problems.

We do lots of work experience placements here under my supervision. Most are fine (the kids vary a lot with how they treat it, but we steer them along the right path if not taking it seriously). the only real problem ones are those with helicopter parents who want to faff around with times, want to influence what the child is doing, keep phoning in to check the child is ok, expect us to act like parents (one expected us to take her child home at the end of the day!). And they were real pains. She's going to be worse than that, isn't she. To be fair in all those cases the child was excruciatingly embarrassed by it all.

I think you need to only liaise with the school/organisor and if MIL does contact you about it at all, tell her this, and that she needs to speak to them on anything about the placement.

morethanpotatoprints · 28/05/2015 13:01

Is he too big for the chimneys?
Maybe a mine?

All the kids round here seem to do 9 -5pm as you tend to get longer than school hours in the workplace.
He is 15 after all, not 11.