Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to delete facebook 'friend' for child posts rant?

63 replies

thefourgp · 27/05/2015 21:04

A guy who is a friend on facebook (more a friend of a friend in real life) has posted a rant about a number of things but primarily that he's sick of others posting about their kids. Saying he 'doesn't give a toss if your kid just got their first tooth'. I post about my children occasionally and find this rant offensive. He regularly posts about things I have no interest in but I would never trivialise what's important to him. I also know it's not a personal attack and he's probably having a crappy day and letting off steam in the wrong direction. Do I delete and block him possibly causing a bit of awkwardness next time we meet (which is few and far between) or just ignore his stupid rant?

OP posts:
MrsTedCrilly · 27/05/2015 21:59

Just hide him, you will be happier and no awkwardness when you see him! I don't agree with posters saying no-one else cares about your kids though- since I had mine I love seeing friends kiddy pics Smile

geekymommy · 27/05/2015 22:02

If he doesn't like reading dull or trivial stuff about other people's lives, WTF is he doing on Facebook?

littlejohnnydory · 27/05/2015 22:06

I'd get rid. TBH, the main reason I have facebook is to keep people who don't see us all the time up to speed with what my children are doing so my entire facebook profile is pretty much about them. If people aren't interested, then there's no point in them being facebook "friends" and they are welcome to delete me. I love seeing updates of my friends' children's lives on facebook.

Original poster
thefourgp · 27/05/2015 22:14

Thanks for the replies. I'm just going to delete and block him. I know it wasn't aimed at me (I don't often post about my kids) but I don't want to be friends with anyone who is disrespectful of the posts I do make. Plus he's not a nice person tbh. He has kids with his ex-wife but never mentions them. Too busy making bigoted football comments and posting photos of him getting drunk yet again. I'm not saying anything to him. No point. We're not in each others lives. Cheers for the advice.

OP posts:
RolyPolierThanThou · 27/05/2015 22:14

I love seeing my fb friends' pictures of their kids. who is he to try to police fb for everyone? He does not represent me. I find the inspirational or saccharine or 'funny' quotes, maybe with a minion or two FAR more annoying but I just hide those.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 27/05/2015 22:14

Littlejohndory that's a shame in a way you feel you have nothing else of interest to others but your kids?
I personally can't stand over sharers of kids,cats and what's for dinner pictures ffs

DarthVadersTailor · 27/05/2015 22:23

At the end of the day OP it's his post and he can say what he likes provided it's within the guidelines, if you don't like what he says then hide him and don't view it.

To be honest I can understand his POV, I have children but don't particularly feel the need to share a lot of fb though some bits I put up, I get tagged on all my DWs posts too. I do get pretty sick of some friends who post absolutely nothing else but stuff about the kids and find it boring but then I tend to either completely skip over their posts or just hide them.

DarthVadersTailor · 27/05/2015 22:25

I used to, and still do, post a few food things. Some folks find that annoying. One even said they were uncomfortable with me posting a lot about food but I was happy for them to hide me on fb and we still got on well in RL. They just accepted o was different to them, no need to be upset over it.

YsabellStoHelit · 27/05/2015 22:27

I hide people whose crap I don't want to see but can't remove for irl reasons. I also put them on a list which I can easily exclude from seeing my posts.

Pantone363 · 27/05/2015 22:35

I have a friend who does this. Plus rants about the ugly people in our town, badly dressed people on the bus and 'breeders' dpamming him with pics.

Ironically he's as gay as fuck and spent all last week posting about the Irish vote and equality and tolerance. Just not for fat ugly people with kids Hmm

Troglodad · 27/05/2015 22:40

I have shitlists for ranters - stick him on one of those.

Way I see it, an intelligent person just hides the posts they don't want to see, unlike a fuckwit who insults people on their friends list instead.

Klayden · 27/05/2015 22:46

Life's too short to be irritated by Facebook. Glad you're going to delete. It's not worth the angst.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 27/05/2015 22:49

I agree delete him. Must admit though my friend posted this starecat.com/did-you-know-that-you-could-play-your-facebook-games-without-inviting-me/ the other day and it made me LOL

jorahmormont · 27/05/2015 22:50

I think it's ironic.

I love seeing a rant about obnoxious, oversharing parents who think the world cares so much about their child... posted by an obnoxious, oversharing arsehole who thinks people care so much about his or her opinions, they'll either change their ways or feel in any way upset about losing the friendship.

Someone complained loudly in real life about how much we post about DD (not an inordinate amount by any stretch of the imagination) or, as he referred to her, 'that fucking baby'.

I don't think we'll be missing out by not having his friendship any more.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 27/05/2015 22:58

I've got to ask a couple of things -

Why was he your friend on FB in the first place - you obviously don't like him!!

Why did you need validation for your decision to block him?

Aside from that he could just hide notifications from people that bore him. I do that & it's made FB a much nicer place!!

JackSkellington · 27/05/2015 23:04

I find Facebook posts/countless photos of people's kids boring, but I wouldn't post about it or say to them. I just block the posts from my news feed and get on with it.

RusticBlush · 27/05/2015 23:44

I'm pleased I haven't got Facebook - genuine friends would be happy to see your children's milestones knowing how much they are your life Smile
I found it hard categorising people on Facebook therefore will never have it again.

Original poster
thefourgp · 27/05/2015 23:45

I'd only met him briefly a few times when he befriended me on facebook and never knew about the football bigotry before. Surely the whole point of mumsnet aibu site is to get perspective on your thoughts before making decisions? I agree that it's not clever to passive aggressively insult the people you know on facebook. Whatever happened to just being nice? Lol.

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 27/05/2015 23:59

point out that HE can control what HE sees, by choosing to unfollow those whose postings he generally is uninterested in, but he wants to be able to be in contact with from time to time.

also point out that you feel, given your disinterest in his hobbies, but your shared friends, that unfollowing him will be the best plan for you.

VelvetRose · 28/05/2015 00:03

I would delete without a second thought. I really, really enjoy hearing about my friend's children and my nieces and nephews who live in different parts of the country. They seem to enjoy hearing about dd. if someone else doesn't then fair enough, they can scroll on or hide you. Writing a rude rant like that is horrible.

Fatmomma99 · 28/05/2015 00:21

Just confirms why I hate FB

AGnu · 28/05/2015 00:38

I have a group set up where I share most of my mundane updates about my kids. My FB friends know it exists & have been given the option to join & see the updates if they wish but those who aren't interested in the fact that DS2 fell asleep in his dinner again going through the nap-dropping phase don't have to be bombarded by updates. I'm not a prolific over-sharer anyway. Sometimes I do post things on general FB related to my DC but usually only if it involves someone who isn't in the group. We don't live near family so it keeps the grandparents happy without annoying everyone else!

I know someone who had a baby & posts several updates throughout the day of the baby sleeping in the same position, often wearing the same clothes. You'd think they were just posting the same photo with a different comment if it weren't taken in a different place/at a slightly different angle! Personally, I love babies & am mostly just Envy that she's got a teeny one but I can see how it might be irritating to less-broody types!

Atenco · 28/05/2015 01:01

The reality is that your kids are boring to everyone but you
I totally disagree. I love getting news about my friends' children.

Mrsfrumble · 28/05/2015 06:26

Littlejohndory that's a shame in a way you feel you have nothing else of interest to others but your kids

She didn't say that though, did she? Only that it was what she used Facebook for. I do the same; we live in a different continent to our families and most of our friends, so I use Facebook as a quick way of sharing pictures of my children. I do try and make my pictures aesthetically interesting so they don't bore the pants off everyone else.

I have a FB friend who is an aspiring photographer with a special interest in professional cycling. I have no interest in bikes, but I don't mind his posts because his pictures are beautiful to look at and his enthusiasm is endearing. I have another friend who is a health nut and posts the ingredients of her homemade juice every morning. A little odd, but easy enough to skim over in my newsfeed. My SIL uses an app that posts how many miles she runs per day.

My point is that people use Facebook for different things. That's the beauty of it! And if you don't enjoy what someone is posting it's easy enough to skip over their posts, or hide them from your newsfeed. Ranting is a bit silly.

Dogseggs · 28/05/2015 07:46

Love seeing my friends' children, you were not unreasonable. I don't get why posts about children are slagged off so much. Like a pp said, it's a way of putting parents back in their box. I'd much rather see those than endless petitions, selfies or political rants. The worst person on my friends list is really horrible about other people's children but makes endless posts about her horse and is not shy of posting flattering selfies.