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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is weird when viewing a house?

192 replies

lemoncurd20 · 27/05/2015 17:36

We are potential FTBs and viewed our first house today.

The owner was there... aibu to think this is weird?

It was really awkward... or is it normal?

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 28/05/2015 08:03

I am obviously a good seller - all 5 sold quickly and the last one was sold within 48hours at the asking price. So therefore I am quite happy that you wouldn't buy it, midnightscribbler!
If you were not interested in my opinions, having lived there for 20 years, then I am not sure that the neighbours would be very happy with you!
I can hear you saying that you are not bothered about the neighbours! Therefore not the house for you.
It is my house- I get to do it my way! If it works the buyer has to put up with it, if they want it. If it didn't work I might change it. It has worked.

ArgyMargy · 28/05/2015 08:03

Wow Midnite - you must have paid a helluva lot of stamp duty!!

Mehitabel6 · 28/05/2015 08:04

I wouldn't want to sell to arrogant buyers who think the Internet is any substitute for intimate knowledge.

Mehitabel6 · 28/05/2015 08:05

Anyway- to get back to OP - both ways are completely normal and you have to 'go with the flow'- you don't get a choice.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 08:11

I would not rely upon anything the vendor has to say about the schools, local toddler groups, the kitchen, nada. Their interests are squarely opposite of mine.

TandemFlux · 28/05/2015 08:13

Im only moving locally so know about the area in depth. When we look round houses we have an on going discussion about ripping out kitchens, knocking walls down, sorting decor and the owner would cramp the discussion on our initial reactions to spaces

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 08:14

I wouldn't want to sell to arrogant buyers who think the Internet is any substitute for intimate knowledge.

Do you actually care who you sell to, apart from how much they're willing to pay? Really?

ArgyMargy · 28/05/2015 08:15

In my experience estate agents are useless and just make things up. I know if they showed someone around my house they would probably miss half of it out. And they certainly wouldn't know anything about its maintenance, utilities, local services, etc. when we bought the house the agents put the wrong house name on the particulars.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 08:17

Estate agents are useless apart from the fact that they are emotionally uninvolved in the house, so you don't have to worry about hurting their feelings.

Once you're serious about a house, it makes a lot of sense to go through with the owner to ask questions about boilers/planning permission/etc.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 08:18

I overhead an estate agent tell a viewer in our house that it didn't have a dining room. We actually have a dining room, it's just on the floor above our kitchen. We fired them immediately.

Bakeoffcake · 28/05/2015 08:18

I think it depends on the agent.

Our last agents were very expensive but we had a dedicated person who showed people round. She and all the people in the office, came together to look around our house, asked lots of questions and I told them all about the house, so they knew a huge amount, whether they were taking phone calls from buyers or showing them around the house.

We always went out apart from when we had a second viewing.

BeaufortBelle · 28/05/2015 08:21

OP - I think it works out about half and half. When we sold we preferred agent accompanied viewings and to be out. When we bought it was variable - some were with the agent, others not. A lot depends on the preference of the vendor.

I think you will find that when you find the right property your heart will tell you however it is shown. When it does, listen to your heart and arrange a second viewing to take place as you wish it. You can request that the owners are not there - we did on a house we weren't sure about because the first viewing had taken over an hour and the owner literally didn't stop talking (he was a very nice man though).

It's also a good idea to see a property at two different times of the day if you are going to offer - light is important and it's good to see its impact.

Bakeoffcake · 28/05/2015 08:23

Amd I disagree with all the "estate agents are useless".

Most are but there are good ones out there. The last house we sold, the agents were fantastic. I think you get what you pay for in this area.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 28/05/2015 08:26

YANBU - it is very normal for the owners NOT to be there. I've probably viewed 30+ houses in the last 5 years, and on only 1 of those viewings has the owner ever been there (and the estate agent apologised profusely to us in advance!).

When selling I always go out for viewings. The potential buyers need to feel as comfortable as possible, plus I find it really weird having strangers look round my house, so I'd much rather not be there...

wanderings · 28/05/2015 08:27

As a seller who was frequently home when viewings were conducted by the estate agent, I usually just stayed out of the viewer's way, but always told the viewers I was happy to answer questions.

When I was buying, I experienced something far worse than the seller being there (not that I minded that): group viewings! There would be several of us looking at the house at once. Ugh!

MidniteScribbler · 28/05/2015 08:40

I can hear you saying that you are not bothered about the neighbours!

I care a lot about the neighbours, I just don't trust any vendor because they're certainly not going to tell me about the loud parties, or any other obnoxious behaviour. You want to sell, so you're going to dress it up and put a big bow on it. Are you really going to tell me that the guy next door throws his dog poo over the fence, or that crazy old Mary across the road dances naked on the nature strip during a full moon? No, they're always going to be the most wonderful neighbours anyone has ever had.

Wow Midnite - you must have paid a helluva lot of stamp duty!!

Where I used to live (and did all of my buying and selling) there was no stamp duty on a property if it was your own residence. I'm now in another state which does have stamp duty, so I don't move so often anymore.

Fortunately over here agents do the viewings and the owners go out. The only owners that stay are the ones that really don't understand the process of buying and selling, so you should be somewhat wary of them anyway.

lechie · 28/05/2015 09:13

But it's not necessarily finding out bad information Midnight.

For example, one question I always used to ask was where do the children on this road go to school? I'm a teacher and didn't want to live in a road full of kids I might be teaching. Although I never bought a house in the catchment area, our school took from such a wide area, the little bleeders got everywhere (most children came from out of catchment, several from other towns - some up to 20 odd miles away!) and I do like some downtime at the weekends. There's no right answer for this, and it's not possible to find such Information out on the Internet - but the owners will know / did know. In fact, only they could really give us that information.

Also BunBaker, I don't think it's a new thing. When we bought our first house in the 90s, we were shown round by the owners. In fact it was them that convinced us to buy their house rather than another one - because they pointed out the other one was close to a sewage farm! And I remember when we sold our house in the 80s, mum showing someone round and saying afterwards she hoped the lady didn't buy the house, because she knew the lady and didn't like her. That was about 85. So it's been going on for 30 years at least!

But it may well be regional although It is certainly the norm in the four counties we have bought and sold houses in (one a sale that didn't go through).

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 09:15

That's a fairly unusual example, though, lechie.

I'm a parent and I'd be hard-pressed to tell you which school the kids on my street go to.

Mehitabel6 · 28/05/2015 09:21

Of course I care who I sell to. Confused my mother was terribly embarrassed when she sold to someone that turned out to be difficult- not easy with her old friends and neighbours.
You have to tell about noisy neighbours now- there are comebacks if you lie.
The Internet tells you the league table for schools and the Ofsted , therefore virtually useless. Why you would prefer this to me, who has taught in all the local schools on supply and can tell you how they teach reading, which is best with SNs , which Head is going at the end of term, which set for maths, which is very religious ( not necessarily the faith school )- or any question you ask, is a mystery to me.
A list of toddler groups doesn't tell you anything about them.
I have found all my doctors, dentists, hairdressers etc from the people I bought from.

DustyCropHopper · 28/05/2015 09:26

When we were up for sale I did all the viewings, the estate agent didn't come as far as I remember. He talked us through how to do a good tour then I offered them the opportunity to look around themselves. I totally accepted they may discuss reprinting or changing things, there is no need to criticise what the owner has (as in 'I don't like the wall paper') as that is all cosmetic and everyone's choice is different, but totally fine to talk about knocking down walls, changing lay out etc.

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 28/05/2015 09:49

Last had house on market in 2009.

agents charged £75 + vat per viewing.

And they were lying shites to boot.

So I did viewings.

I let people in, give them a quick tour, then ask them to start through self- tour in kitchen, (whilst lurking in another room out of earshot). when they leave kitchen I call up that I've put coffee on and will be in kitchen for any Qu's they might have / coffee before they leave.

I am happy for them to take pics / flush loos / look in cupboards etc.

I have viewed a flat with someone in the bed (it was creepy).
And some houses in horrible condition.

We did also actually buy a house before we discovered the reason it was for sale was because there had been a murder and suicide there (the parents of the family who'd been living there).

They don't NEED to tell you, apparently Shock

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 28/05/2015 10:06

I hate being shown around by the vendors. I don't mind them hanging around and making themselves scarce (what I did if I couldn't get out) but doing a tour, God no.

I definitely don't want someone reeling off their opinions on schools etc. I'm sorry, but that stuff is do subjective, and the Internet is a much better source.

Ideally, I want the first viewing to be in an empty house, and the vendors to be around for the second, but only to answer questions.

I think it's regional. Here in the SE, it's rare for the vendors to be home, and unheard of for them to do a tour.

Hoppityhippityhop · 28/05/2015 10:12

I've been through many months and two estate agents trying to sell my house. I did not want to do viewings, I told both agencies and they agreed to do them, but I have ended up conducting every single one. Without fail the estate agents have been double booked, running late or short staffed. I hate showing people round my house, it's awkward and embarrassing. Also I'm obviously not good at it.
So, in answer to the question- no, it's not weird and the vendor is likely to be as uncomfortable about it as you are.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 28/05/2015 10:56

Mehitabel, you have no way of knowing whether someone is "difficult" based on how they go about buying a house. Moreover, I'd venture that no one would take a lower bid in any case (unless it's personal).

strawberrytablecloth · 28/05/2015 11:22

We looked at about 20 places before buying the one we're in. On two occasions owners who were very emotionally attached to the houses showed us around. Both owners had raised families there and one was moving out as he was downsizing after his wife had died. It was terrible...This is the room we were sat in when she got her cancer diagnosis, this is the room she died in, she always loved the view out of this window, my daughter painted these murals etc and then being shown the rose bed (which we would have had to dig up as it was right in the middle of the lawn) where the wife's ashes were scattered! The second was a lovely lady whose husband had cheated on her with a neighbour and she was in tears as she told us all about it. As soon as we walked in, we knew it wasn't the house for us but ended up consoling her for 40 minutes!
Another owner who was much more detached showed us around & said things like "you'll want to update the bathroom. We did get some quotes which were X, Y, & Z" and "I know this is a bit odd but this is how we made it work for us" and "with young children, you'll worry when you see this (very steep stone steps outside) but when our grandchildren come & stay, we do this".