I've name changed to try to protect the privacy of the individuals concerned so please don't 'out' me if you recognise me from details!
I am very concerned about my dad's neighbours. They are an older couple - maybe late 70s. I have known them my entire life, and they have always been very lovely, devoted to each other, kind but very private people. They are childless and have no family or any kind of support network.
The wife (let's call her A) was diagnosed a few years ago with Parkinson's disease. The husband, B, is her sole carer. He is, I want to stress, devoted to her and works so hard to meet her needs.
However lately there have been instances where we have overheard him shouting at her. My sister snd I were in dads garden today and heard it, it was upsetting. My dad and the neighbour the other side (who is attached - houses are semis, dad is not attached) has apparently heard it too and found it distressing. There are no sounds of physical violence or aggression and I do not believe he would hurt her for a moment. I have been a carer and I know how it can take its toll emotionally and believe he is just at the end of his tether. I am as concerned for him as for her.
I do not know how best to approach the situation. My sister believes I should do nothing and 'not interfere'. However I am a student social worker and believe I have a duty to act to protect two very vulnerable adults. I do not want him to feel he is being 'reported' - it would devastate him, and I feel instigating a POVA investigation would be a little heavy handed, and scare them away from accessing support in future. I intend to speak to one of my lecturers whose background is in adult services, but I know the GP who they are registered with and know she would have offered SS input which I can fully imagine B would have declined - as I say they are very private and proud.
My DH is due to do some DIY for my dad on a day off soon and I thought about popping round to see if they had any small jobs DH could do for them - he's done little bits before when they asked dad for a recommendation for a paid handyman for some really minor things and were grateful when DH offered to do the jobs. I thought this might give me an 'opening' to come with him and mention any carer/respite services I manage to find out about. I don't want to go charging in like a do-gooder and offend them though so would have to think carefully about how to handle the conversation. I would be happy to spend time sitting with A myself for a few hours to give B a break but again feel they're likely to refuse on account of pride.
My other options are speaking to SS - but I do worry they will go in heavy handedly with a POVA investigation when I think a very soft approach is warranted and more appropriate - or speaking to the GP (not my practice as I live further afield but used to treat me and have a good relationship with her as she's very involved in managing my dads conditions).
Or, I guess, do nothing as my sister seems to think is best. I'm very conflicted about how to handle this for the benefit of them both and would welcome MN wisdom please.