How do I ltb?

[yearoftheferrari]

Nc for this.

I have come to a decision that I want to divorce my husband. Details hopefully not necessary as I know you would respond ltb.

We have two kids, 6 and 1. Eldest in a lovely school nearby. Grandparents etc not local. We own our house - about half is ours, half still mortgaged. Mortgage is alot as we aimed to pay it quickly.

H refuses to leave the house whenever I raise the question of separation / divorce. I need to stay put as I am the person who has done far greater share of child rearing and who they prefer to be with.

I don't want to leave the area wwith them due to school and being settled.

What do I do to get him out?

Thanks all.

Inheritance not enough to buy him out. It's from my grandma and my mum had it for now.

I can't afford mortgage and bills alone at current rate but possibly could re mortgage to a slower re payment even if there is a penalty.

Honestly, it's SHIT at first! But then it gets better.

Losing my entire family was easier by far than telling the B to pack his bags. 3 months on and we are OK. Not brilliant but OK. Far more importantly than me, my children are happy. Don't care about much else to be honest.

I feel like he is sticking around just to make me miserable.

We also have no sex life any more because he is never normal long enough for me to start trusting and liking him again.

I am certain he has depression and possibly is bi polar but he will never get any help with this.

His depression and mh problems are not your responsibility and cannot be laid at your door

Don't hesitate to get a solicitor involved. My X shat himself when he realised years worth of abuse might come out x

Not sure what EA is?

You definately need legal advice. Go see someone and find out what your rights are. If he is abusive in anyway you have more rights with regards to getting him out and keeping him out I believe.

You have made a tough choice, you can do this. It will be hard but worth it.

EA=emotionally abusive.

OP please see a solicitor. Ultimately the courts will decide who gets what and stays where if you can't agree.

I do understand what ea is, I was just saying I find it hard to admit I have let this happen to me.

Will see/ speak to a family lawyer.

EA was clarification for me I think as I wasn't sure.

You don't "let this happen" it is usually something that builds up over time. From cases I've seen it is something that can come and go and just builds. Spotting it and deciding you are worth more is a HUGE step.

Let us know what lawyer says.

Yes, sorry OP, I wasn't clear.

I will do. Part of the issue is having no time to contact a lawyer - probably why I haven't done it before - but I will make time.

OK, so in the meantime start financial planning. Get copies of bank statements, payslips, savings accounts, investments etc. Try the CSA calculator and see what sort of payments your h will have to make under that. Be aware that the house may have to be sold, or you buy your h out of his share. Can you afford a mortgage on this basis? What is your plan B if house is sold?

If house sold I will have to buy another in same area. That is possible.