Last year my mum started an affair with her now boyfriend, lets call him 'S'. S was also married. My mum broke up with her lovely boyfriend of 7 years ('L'). She then gave S an ultimatum of to leave his wife and be with her or end the affair which he did. I was not happy with this as I did not agree with the way they had started their relationship and that my mother had been so callous to L after everything he had done for her (which is a lot) I feel like she just used him until someone she liked better came along. I didn't speak to my mum for about 2 months because I didn't feel ok with the situation. Then I thought 'lifes too short' so got in touch with her. My mum took that as a green light to ram their realtionship down my throat 24/7.
Its as if she cannot do anything without him or his permission. Just before xmas she quit her job and moved in with him (as soon as his wife left) and rented out her house, my childhood home, without telling me, which upset me but I think I'm deff. being UR about that. Her house, her choice. My grandparents and mum were supposed to be coming to my house for xmas and she asked if he could come too, which I found rude and basically said she was taking the piss, she knew I wasn't okay with the relationship but gave them and inch and now she wants to take a mile. Anyway he didn't come.
Last week I went to stay with them as I was coming home for my birthday (I live 250 miles away). I was staying in his house which I found awkward and uncomfortable but tried to make the best of it. He kept making snide comments about using their wifi and spending to long in the shower and generally making me feel as if I shouldn't be there. He is very rude and cuts people off if they aren't talking about a subject he finds interesting or interrupts to start telling his own story. He just acts like a rude teenager rolling his eyes and sulking if the focus is not on him. I also noticed he treats my mum basically like a slave ordering her about and won't lift a finger but she says she enjoys looking after him, again her decision.
Things came to a head when we went out for my birthday meal, me my mum and S, me again trying to be nice for my mum and spending time with them both. I picked a restaurant to have a meal in, note I work in hospitality and my biggest passion is food and drink, trying new places, whereas my mum and S are more 'Red Hot World Buffet' types. It doesn't matter how bad the food/service/ambience is as long as it's cheap and the portions are big. So we sit down and S instantly starts complaining that they don't have 'normal' drinks only 'fancy shit that no one likes' (artisan beers). Looks at the food menu and complains several times that it looks rubbish and they don't have anything he likes (it was simple British food with stuff like leg of lamb, seabass, steak and chips, something to suit everyone really). Then spots they prices which were obviously more than he wanted to pay but nothing outrageous - it was a pub fgs. Starts making loud exaggerated comments (HOWMUCH??!! I CANTBELIEVEIT!!) ad announces he's not paying these prices. I lost my rag and said fine lets go somewhere else left the table and went outside to wait for them.
S comes outside starts screaming at me in the middle of the car park about how rude I am, swearing at me (we don't swear in my family - I do privately though). I was just flabbergasted thinking omg who the hell does this bloke think he is shouting at me as if he is my dad. We went home and I started packing my things up and went to stay with my grandparents. S rang them and said I'd stormed off because he had said it was too expensive. I was annoyed at that because it wasn't the reason. It was because he was rude, couldn't be bothered to make an effort and thought he had the right to dictate where my mother and I spend MY birthday dinner. Its got nowt to do with him, he should have just tried to make an effort to have a nice time like I was doing with him.
I left to go home early as there was supposed to be a dinner at my grandparents he was invited to and I didn't want to be around him. Am I blowing things out of proportion. I really dislike him and don't want to be around him. My mum still isn't taking the hint and texts me updates everyday 'S is decorating the office' 'S has gone to the pub'. Honestly I don't give a fuck, I don't want to hear about him. I don't know what to do for the best. I want to accept him for my mums sake but I honestly cannot stand the guy.