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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you can't save seats on the tube/dlr?

31 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 25/05/2015 18:45

Got on the dlr today. Was busy. As I got on there was a woman in front of me and two seats at the front free. One was the actual front seat, next to a young boy and the other woman went for that.

The other free seat was in the row behind next to a man. I sat next to him. As the other woman sat down infront of him the bloke tapped her and said that his wife was sitting there.

Woman (who was wresting a large suitcase) said sorry and then any other free seats further back had gone so she had to stand for the 30 min journey. I turned round wondering where this blokes wife was and she was just getting on! I doubt she had any medical need to sit down as she'd done some running race earlier and had a medal round her neck. The boy was her DS and was only 3 or 4yo so could have sat on her knee.

I genuinely think Id have politely refused to move.

OP posts:
iWantToBeAlone · 25/05/2015 18:47

Yanbu! Did they (the man and his wife) seem like they weren't from London? Maybe they didn't realise that just isn't how it works here.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/05/2015 18:59

They sounded Southern to my northern ears. Whether they were from London or not I dunno. But I'm a visitor and I wouldn't have done it!

Kid was super annoying all journey which may have wound me up more than otherwise. You know the type when their kid is hollering full volumne non stop and they giggle and think it's funny. And everyone else is thinking shut the fuck up.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 25/05/2015 19:21

I was on a train today in the NW and someone had put two full sized suitcases in the space meant for the legs of someone sitting down in front of a pair of seats. The carriage had a huge luggage space just a couple of seat rows away. It was really busy too, but instead of asking whose the cases were and getting them moved people who got on after me were either walking to the other carriage or standing!

alleypalley · 25/05/2015 19:46

I nearly posted about something similar on Saturday. We were traveling from Euston on a route that you can't reserve seats on, there was me, dh and 2 dds aged 10&5 (so had paid for tickets for both of them). By fluke they announced the platform just as we were walking by the entrance to it so we rushed down and were one of the first at the train. They kept the doors closed though for about 10 mins after the announcement so there was massive crowds round each door, and when they did open them it was like Black Friday at the shops.

My dds were holding hands and got on first and went straight for a table seat for 4. They got there just at the same time as a woman who had got on at the door at the other end of the carriage. The woman sat at the table seat whilst also putting her bag on the row of 2 behind, so trying to save seats for 6 people. She kept just telling us there were 6 of them, but we couldn't turn around and go for another seat as all the people behind us had already got them so I told my dds to stay seated, I sat in a seat across the isle with a family of 3 in another table seat, my dh behind me, seeing what was going on had also managed to grab a single seat behind us. She was still trying to get me to move my children, but I said no. My dh then asked her if she wanted to swap the seat he was in with the one left that she was blocking, then eventually she said to me, well I may as well swap with you, while muttering about how rude we'd been, like we'd been one person and a bag trying to save seats for 6 healthy young adults.

I live in London (if that's relevant), and will always offer a seat when I think I should, or indeed am asked, and am always grateful when someone offers me, or my dds a seat. But on the whole it's first come first served, so no I don't think YWHBU if you had refused to move.

Dr0pThePirate · 25/05/2015 19:48

I've seen people doing similar. The best are the people who never take the train or tube standing around as a family utterly flabbergasted as to where they're all supposed to sit as there aren't 4 or 5 seats together to meet their needs.

I think the fact they may need to sit separately is a difficult concept but like I said I don't think these people use public transport very often.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/05/2015 19:56

I can't believe people are so thick skinned to not realise it's first come first served on public transport.

Im always happy to offer my seat to someone more in need, ended up standing on the dlr so some guy with a stick could sit. I made dd give her seat up on the bus this morning. But no way am I standing for either suitcases or an able bodied person who has got on behind me.

OP posts:
Raffertys · 25/05/2015 19:59

YANBU. If no one is sitting on a tube seat, it's up for grabs (I'm a 2 hour each way, five days a week commuter, an hour of which is on the tube).
I have politely informed several tube newbies / twats that unless someone's arse is on a seat, I'm sitting on it.

I will add that I'm the first person to give my seat up if there is someone who needs it more than me. Every time.

The etiquette in trains with reserved seats is obviously different. But then I think seat reservations should be banned altogether - first come, first served Grin well aware that is idealistic and unrealistic

JassyRadlett · 25/05/2015 20:16

I've had this on peak hour suburban trains as well - someone saving a seat on a crowded service with lots of people standing. Fucking unbelievable.

manicinsomniac · 25/05/2015 20:24

YANBU

I always save a seat for my mum when travelling on public transport because she's morbidly obese with arthritis and moves at abut 0.02 miles an hour.

But I do this by sprinting, ducking and weaving my way to the front of crowds and sitting in a seat till she reaches me. Then I give her the seat and stand up myself.

I would never sit on a seat and try and save the one next to it too.

AyMamita · 25/05/2015 21:00

YANBU. I've had people try this with me on the tube. I laughed and stayed in the seat.

Fatmomma99 · 26/05/2015 00:55

I don't live in London or any of the UK big cities, but I live in a city with major transport links, and I was born and raised in London.

A cousin (who lives in London) came to stay, and we caught the bus into town (we live outside the city centre) for an evening out.

As we got off the bus, DH and I both threw a "thank you " to the driver over our shoulders.

London Cousin laughed til he wee'd because we'd thanked the driver. Said in London "no one" does that.

Sad, I thought.

MidniteScribbler · 26/05/2015 01:13

You snooze, you lose.

mileend2bermondsey · 26/05/2015 01:35

fatmomma
I imagine that no one says thank you when they leave the bus in London is because you leave at the back of the bus so don't get a chance? I always say thanks when I swipe my oyster card when I'm getting on, or at the very least give the driver a friendly smile.

Smellyoulateralligator · 26/05/2015 01:59

I thank bus drivers or nod as I walk off (Londoner) Fatmomma

Smellyoulateralligator · 26/05/2015 02:01

I do the same mileend.
Viva YANBU at all.

Raffertys · 26/05/2015 05:47

I always thank bus drivers if I can.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/05/2015 05:56

fatmomma when I visit my family up north I thank the bus drivers as I get off because the majority are nice. Bus drivers here in London barely acknowledge you when you get on and smile and can be really rude. I've heard people thank the drivers here and never get a response whereas 9 times out of 10 you do up there. But then again northerners are friendlier anyway

Shakey1500 · 26/05/2015 07:08

YANBU. It's a free for all, first come first served system.

I used to work for the underground and a massive perk (especially travelling from central London) was if the platform was stuffed to the gills and the train likely to be also, we could stand right at the front and sit with the driver. Not all drivers would let you as it wasn't officially allowed but 99% did Smile

AlpacaPicnic · 26/05/2015 07:24

Haha! A bus driver really pissed me off the other day, and the most aggressive way I could decide to deal with it was by pointedly not thanking him as I got off the bus! (West Country girl here)

Yeah... You don't save seats on tubes or buses! You just don't!

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 26/05/2015 07:29

I'm glad people agree. I was wondering if I was a hard nose cow. Grin

I've heard quite a few people thanking bus drivers as they get off the past coup,e of days (London). You get off in the middle of the bus so they shout "thanks driver" loudly as they get off.

OP posts:
FruChristerOla · 26/05/2015 07:29

YANBU, Viva, and I agree with Dr0p that it sounds as though, whether they were Londoners or not, they simply never usually use non-reservable public transport so had no concept of the etiquette, which is the same countrywide.

Like other Londoners on this thread, I always say thank you when I get on the bus and swipe my card - actually I've found the majority of drivers do acknowledge that. And if I'm walking past the front of the bus when I've got off, I'll always try to mouth a thank you to the driver if they're looking in my direction.

Charis1 · 26/05/2015 07:34

it is normal to thank the bus driver when you get off the bus in London, I have had strangers children nudge me and remind me when I forgot!

mousmous · 26/05/2015 07:35

there are a few 'thank you driver' busroutes in london. always makes me smile.
op yanbu, I would (and have done in the past) planted my arse and shrugged.
but usually trains are so full I don't get a seat anyway.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 26/05/2015 07:52

I once got on the first train after one that was cancelled at Kings Cross. There was a man in my reserved seat. He refused to move as that would have been his seat on the cancelled train! Except that that was irrelevant to me as I had a ticket for the non-cancelled train... And so I stood in the aisle and blocked the whole carriage and apologized loudly but there was someone in my seat. He still didn't move! Other people got involved but he had the hide of a rhino and wasn't shifting. I had the last laugh though when a guard came along and moved me to first class Smile

AlisonBlunderland · 26/05/2015 08:26

I thank bus drivers too.

I also used to thank cash dispenser machines but have forced myself to stop!