To be upset that people forgot my birthday?

[Bluejumperandbluejeans]

I always try to remember my family and close friends birthdays remind family members of upcoming birthdays, and I'm upset that several of these forgot my birthday last week. My brother and his wife, my sister who always send me a card, hers got lost in the post, my step son and wife, my mum has Alzheimer's so I don't expect one from her unless my brother buys one and sends it from her. My best friend, but she's had family problems to deal with. My nephews forget but they never bother anyway. My dh remembered but hasn't bought me a present as he didn't know what to get and says he will pay for me to do something of my choosing, but I hate reminding him

I know that part of the reason I'm upset is that I miss my mum as she was before Alzheimer's and that I lost a brother 5 years ago and miss him especially on birthdays etc. but some people have just forgot or I'm not important enough in their lives for them to remember. I feel like I'm Mrs unpopular I even put thank you messages on Facebook hoping to jog people's memories

Mrs Unpopular

Happy Birthday :)

It's rubbish that people forget, and your dh's "I'll pay for you to do something" is a cop out. He could have done that and got you a little something too.

Don't feel bad about reminding him. In fact book something today! Something you wouldn't normally do. Fly in a hot air balloon, go paragliding, whatever it is do it just for you!

I am the family organiser too - so what I do is unashamedly and pointedly tell everyone it is my birthday - 1 month out, then 2 weeks, then 1 week, then remind them a couple of days before...

just stuff like "I'm looking forward to my birthday on Tue" "Would be nice to get a card from mum - hint, hint"

Some people remember stuff, some don't, some will not think further than "oh I'll get a card" - you want more you have to tell them.

I used to do what you do.. Remind everybody on about birthdays and always make sure I paid special attention to friends on theirs.

Well until I had my 40th. One sibling wished me one on Facebook so I returned the favour, the other one didn't remember at all so I forgot his. A bunch of friends I used to go all out with on theirs ignored mine so now I return the favour aside from a Facebook message. I no longer remind them of the parentals birthdays neither.

It's petty but it's so freeing as well, I'm so over the treat people how you would like to be treated thing

Happy birthday man plan something just for you no matter how selfish.

Happy birthday from me, also .

What jumped out to me is that DH could have been more sensitive about the fact that your mother is effectively 'lost' to you and done more to compensate rather than less. Perhaps your birthday 'treat' to yourself could be to wallow in that feeling, to yourself and also to your DH and for him to understand that you're actually in the horrible position of being effectively in mourning for someone who is still alive.

Thinking of you, and happy birthday.

Happy Birthday!

My family are TERRIBLE at birthdays. Very often no-one remembers, although I am careful to always send them things on their brithdays. Luckily I married into a family where birthdays are celebrated, and so I'm always spoiled by MIL and SIL, who make sure DH does his bit as well.

Happy birthday! Sending you virtual

I had a thread on here about my birthday last week...it got (half) forgotten by my DC. Not one person at work mentioned it either. I had messages on fb, but mostly from people I've not seen for 20 odd years, nothing from my closest friends! There was other stuff with my DC too which upset me and is off topic but my birthday being ignored by most people felt a bit shit. So I'm sorry you're feeling that way too.

Dps family are terrible at birthdays, and are often seen texting you at 11pm at night after they've seen you all day as its on facebook that it was your birthday! I remind dp of every birthday coming, I even have to remind him of his own birthday!

They only remember 2 birthdays, my nephew as its new years day and my ds as its Xmas day.

Happy birthday xx

Happy birthday
Some people aren't 'into' birthdays but some people are and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. As long as you and the people you are close to are aware that you would appreciate your birthday being acknowledged. Even if someone doesn't personally 'get' why you enjoy your birthday it would surely not be too big an ask that they mark it even in a small way with a card.

I do hate when people impose their 'its not important to me therefore it shouldn't be important to anyone else either' attitude on others. I don't agree with some of the life choices of people I'm close to but I fully support them because it's their choice and none of my business.

I think the only thing you can do is make sure you have something a bit special planned for yourself. If you can't rely on anyone else to do it.

Thanks all. I did wonder if I'm overreacting. It means so much to me I'm the kid that used tell the neighbours weeks before it was my birthday and follow the postman :)
I think I'll have to be a bit more proactive in future about my birthday.
To be. Fair to dh he had a bad tooth abscess before and during my birthday.
But I'm not letting him off the hook