Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

About the neighbours' child?

23 replies

whatlifestylechoice · 23/05/2015 16:51

We're very friendly with our neighbours. They have a six-year-old and a newborn; we have no children, but two dogs.

The six-year-old came around earlier and was chatting away, and then decided to stay with us and do some colouring. Except both DP and I are doing chores around the house today, we're in and out between the house and the garden, and neither of us has time free to supervise the child and the dogs. I'm pretty sure the dogs would never hurt her on purpose, but a few times they've knocked her over by accident. After the second time, I asked the child to go home, which she was not happy about. I insisted, and she did leave, rather sulkily.

I'm now feeling guilty though. If the neighbours asked us to babysit the girl, we would happily do so, but I don't want her just deciding to come visit us when there's no reason to do so, and its inconvenient for us.

AIBU?

OP posts:

gamerchick · 23/05/2015 16:52

Nope.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 23/05/2015 16:53

If it's not a convenient time then just send her away when she arrives she'll take the hint eventually!

FlabulousChix · 23/05/2015 16:53

You aren't being unreasonable at all. But weird too she just turned up when you have no kids yourself

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 23/05/2015 16:53

How does a 6 year old just come round? If one turned up at my house they would be escorted home.

expatinscotland · 23/05/2015 16:54

YANBU. I'd have a word with these neighbours, tbh.

Nativity3 · 23/05/2015 16:54

I think it's sweet that she wants to spend time with you but I can see it would be tricky for you to watch her when you have chores to do and it wasn't an official babysitting arrangement.

YANBU... Maybe you could get her involved? If mine have friends round and I'm cleaning I'll usually ask them to sort a box of toys or check all the puzzles have all the bits or something!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 23/05/2015 16:55

Not unreasonable at all.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 23/05/2015 16:57

YABU to allow this, but not to send her packing with a "Ooh, you need to go home, because Mrexpat and I are very busy doing jobs today!" in a friendly, smiley, yet also firm way!

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 23/05/2015 17:00

How does a 6 year old just come round?

We live in a tiny hamlet, so she gets a lot more freedom than city-dwelling kids might. Also our doors are never locked, although we do have a gate to keep the dogs in. But obviously six-year-olds cab work gates.

Nativity3 I have done that before when I've been doing some gardening, but I can't really ask a small child to clean the bathroom or put on a load of washing, really. (Or can I? )

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 23/05/2015 17:01

YANBU.

Thing is, if you were too nice at the beginning the parents were probably deluded into thinking you genuinely enjoy having their child round. Especially if you don't have kids of your own.

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 17:01

I think you should send her home say what a pp said that you are busy and go home i think the parents are taking the piss tbh she maybe lovely but they dont seem that fussed she is bothering you

expatinscotland · 23/05/2015 17:03

Look, if your dogs hurt that kid you could be facing criminal charges, lose your home, your job, all sorts.

Just tell her, next time, 'This isn't a good time for visitors. DH and I have lots to get on with. Maybe later.'

TheresACatInMeKitchen · 23/05/2015 17:06

Is she knocking on the door first or just letting herself in?

Either way If its not convenient you need to send her on her way.

reni1 · 23/05/2015 17:11

Yanbu, it's lovely she wants to come and great of you to allow it from time to time, but she needs to learn not to outstay her welcome. I know a few grown ups who need to learn that, too.

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 23/05/2015 17:11

I know expat, that's why I would never leave her alone with the dog.

She's just letting herself in!

I think I'll definitely mention it to the parents later. We're due to go around there anyway.

OP posts:

Nativity3 · 23/05/2015 17:12

I would mention it by saying you are concerned for her safety around the dogs when you're cleaning and can't keep an eye! :)

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 17:15

It sounds like you are friends with her parents so they think its fine for her to pop round and not taking the piss after all i wonder if tgey see you as an extention to their family

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 17:18

No dont blame the poor dogs its their house just say i like little girl visiting but sometimes we are busy so dont be offended if we send her home

PattiODoors · 23/05/2015 17:20

Annoying! Do think about using the lock on doors so she can't let self in.

If she's coming round the back then you need to secure garden maybe with a high latch on gate.

Lots of friendly "today we are busy, let's pop you straight home" and swish her back. There is a technique to child swishing kinda like arms akimbo and herding. Hard to describe, arf.

Yarp · 23/05/2015 17:21

She's really little. 6 is young. Take her home, don't send her. Poor kid

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 23/05/2015 17:27

Yarp, she runs around everywhere in our hamlet anyway. There's no traffic at all, and her house is only 30m away so the only possible hazards really are our dogs or her tripping and falling.

I shall practice my arms akimbo child-swishing then and speak to her parents tonight.

Thank you all.

OP posts:

Yarp · 23/05/2015 17:30

I'd still take her. It's the parents you have an issue with, not her, so you need to talk to them.

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 17:37

I swish children at work its like herding i love the swshy description i knew exactly what you meant

Flip