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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get rid of the dog

41 replies

VivienScott · 23/05/2015 09:03

Urgh, I know this is a contentious issue and for the record, I am wholeheartedly against people getting animals then getting rid of them because they no longer fit in with a lifestyle or you didn't think about it properly.

My now ex bought a dog, against my wishes TBH, while we were together that he has left with me as he can't take him with him. He wants me to keep the dog, he wants the dog, but can't take it to his now accomodation.

The dog in question is a lovely dog, he's gentle and would not hurt a fly. He's not even 2 and a pedigree. However, I work and he can't be left alone. He's gone through carpets, doors, door frames to get a dog gate off so he can get into the house and destroy stuff, sofas, wellies, an expensive pair of glasses, you name it, if he's left without human company he will eat it. If there's someone home, he's fine but he can't be left and I can't give up a job to look after him and I can't afford to put him in dog creche when I'm at work. My ex works nights so when we were together there was generally someone home, and he is normally OK for an hour or so. He's also more than half my weight, so he's too strong for me on walks really.

The kids adore him and will be heart broken if I get rid, and I've asked family and friends, but because they know what he's like, no-one wants him. He really needs to be either on a farm or in a family where he will be looked after 24/7. I feel like sh!t saying it because I know how pushed to the limit re-homing charities are, but AIBU to get rid of the dog?

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 23/05/2015 10:08

I don't think you are doing the wrong thing in this situation. The dog is clearly unhappy and would be more settled in a home with permanent human company or someone with the time to work through his anxiety/separation issues. Your ex needs to stump up for day care if he wants to "keep" his dog (I presume he isn't paying for food etc? Bloody cheek). Have you tried leaving the dogs with a frozen Kong for amusement? Leaving the radio/TV on? Spaniels are such an active breed it can be difficult to keep them occupied!

paddypants13 · 23/05/2015 15:00

The Dogs' Trust don't put any healthy dog to sleep so they are worth considering. You may have to put him on a waiting list for a little while though.

I don't think YABU, you have to put the welfare of your family and the dog first. Your Exh is BU. He should not have bought the dog without your agreement and dumped you with him.

I am like you, I can't stand people who dump pets at the slightest opportunity but you clearly are not one of these people.

FenellaFellorick · 23/05/2015 15:06

You're no longer together and your ex is still telling you what to do! He has no right to lay down the law here. He is very unreasonable. Keep my dog here, pay for all my dog's costs and allow me to come and go as I please.

I would suggest that you say to him either he takes the dog, rehomes the dog or pays for the dog to be walked every day and have that person take the dog to the park for him to spend time with the dog. Those are his choices. If he refuses to do one of those things then you will rehome the dog.

FlabulousChix · 23/05/2015 16:47

I'm a dog owner and get real posses of when people just off their dogs. However in your case the dog needs rehoming please don't sell on go via a rescue he needs to be fostered first before rehoming. Dogs suffer terribly from psychological problems and need to be regimes properly and not to the highest bidder.

FlabulousChix · 23/05/2015 16:49

That's rehomed properly sorry. I've a westie that is fine left alone for a long time as I work full time but some dogs have separation anxiety and need company

pluCaChange · 23/05/2015 17:48

Why are you acting as though this is all your fault? The dog's owner (your ex) has already dumped his own dog. His place isn't suitable? Neither is yours!

WaywardOn3 · 23/05/2015 18:18

If it's a springer or working cocker spaniel under I think 2 years then you might find that the police sniffer dog squad may be interested.

If not then breed rescue would be your best bet :-)

Royalsighness · 23/05/2015 18:40

Is he good with small kids? And where abouts are you? I'll have him if you struggle to find anywhere. It's really hard to find a dog that's good with kids AND housebroken

feckitall · 23/05/2015 18:46

Until you said he was a spaniel I thought you were a colleague! Grin
I told colleague not to feel guilty and I will say the same to you.

lougle · 23/05/2015 19:09

Cocker Spaniel Rescue

lougle · 23/05/2015 19:10

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=g8FgVf7iKYnfU5y_gKgO&url=www.springerrescue.org.uk/&ved=0CCsQFjAD&usg=AFQjCNGoX0lHYTEutRoXqqw4rhp-nYVskg&sig2=7QOC_LE7zWZQVVHBJMsOYg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Springer Spaniel Rescue

lougle · 23/05/2015 19:11

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=g8FgVf7iKYnfU5y_gKgO&url=www.justspringersrescue.co.uk/&ved=0CD8QFjAJ&usg=AFQjCNGd-gD6QWgYLNwACjxgnMJA6zeUUg&sig2=BCOHCBqHRTeeloR8A1tCcA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Just Springers Rescue

ferretyfeet · 23/05/2015 19:14

Please don't advertise him on GumTree

RandomMess · 23/05/2015 19:19

Well your ex can't have his cake and eat it. I'm afraid re-homing is your only option if he isn't prepared to pay for his own dog to be looked after!!!

VivienScott · 25/05/2015 13:15

Thank you lougle, those links are excellent and REALLY helpful!

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