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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to burst into tears

29 replies

Dinopawstomp · 22/05/2015 19:25

My lovely dog who I've had for over a decade had to be put down this week. He had a massive stroke and it was the only option available. It happened so fast. I am devastated and keep bursting into tears at the drop of a hat or whenever anything reminds me of him.

I get to Friday and start thinking well at least this week is over with, then I pick up my child from nursery to be told he has been naughty (won't go into details as this might out me). This is so out of character for him I am completely shocked. Got what felt like a bit of a talking to ( not sure whether I am reading into this because I'm feeling very sensitive at the moment).

Just feel like weeping.

I know on the scale of things these are not major problems and people have much much bigger issues to deal with. I just feel so sad and it feels like the world turned on it head.

OP posts:
textfan · 22/05/2015 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/05/2015 19:26

You've had a really shitty week, the fact that other people might have had worse doesn't take away from that. Try and be kind to yourself.

BarbarianMum · 22/05/2015 19:28

Of course you are not being U. Yes, other people have worse probs but that's pretty much always the case. Flowers

APlaceOnTheCouch · 22/05/2015 19:28

Oh, poor you. You've had a tough week. Sorry to hear about your dog. Flowers It may be that your DS was acting up because it's been an upsetting time for him too. Cuddle up on the sofa and be kind to yourself and DS.

confusedandemployed · 22/05/2015 19:30

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely dog. Flowers
I agree with PP, your DS is grieving too. Be kind to the pair of you. ((()))

TheoriginalLEM · 22/05/2015 19:32

I am so sorry for your loss. It is OK to grieve, why wouldn't you? A pet is part of your family, I feel closer to my dogs than most people, I will be devestated if anything happens to them. It is heart breaking and you should be kind to yourself.

It may well have made you feel sensitive today, but it sounds like the nursery staff were rude about your DS, yes they should let you know if there are some behaviour issues but work with you to sort it out, not tell you off!

Flowers
PurpleDaisies · 22/05/2015 19:34

Of course you're upset...you've lost a friend of over ten years. Really sorry for your loss.

Do you think your child might be acting out because they are sad too? Even if this naughtiness is unrelated all kids mess up sometimes-it doesn't mean you're a bad mum.

You've had a rotten week. Be kind to yourself and try and do something nice (my pick me up of choice is chocolate). Flowers

Original poster
Dinopawstomp · 22/05/2015 19:38

Thank you all. I'm welling up reading these posts.

It's just horrible. My other dog looks so lost and confused Sad

I keep thinking he's going to walk in the room.

OP posts:
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 22/05/2015 19:39

You've had a shitty week, I'd be in tears in your situation too. Do nursery know what has happened, it could well be affecting DC's behaviour.

Lifeisacaberet · 22/05/2015 19:47

I'd be exactly the same. Our dog is the only family member to be happy to see me 24/7 ??

Yarp · 22/05/2015 19:49

Of course YANBU

It's grief. It's legitimate

My cat is 19 and in dodgy health. I know I will be stricken when she dies. She's my baby

Original poster
Dinopawstomp · 22/05/2015 19:49

He's very young so I think he's reacting to us being upset not missing the dog IYSWIM.

I'm fighting the urge to rush out and get another dog just to stop the pain. Then I feel guilty for that! I won't as I'm not ready yet.

OP posts:
Yarp · 22/05/2015 19:50

And yes, your child might have been naughty because he was sad or he senses you are.

Yarp · 22/05/2015 19:51

X post

Koalafications · 22/05/2015 19:52

YANBU.

I think your DS is acting out because he is sad about your dog.

Flowers
Koalafications · 22/05/2015 19:53

x-post.

AuntyMag10 · 22/05/2015 19:53

Yanbu, sorry about your dog op. He was a part of your family so it is a big loss and you are grieving. It's also a change for your ds so he may be acting out too. Thanks

SallyMcgally · 22/05/2015 19:56

YANBU at all. It's so so hard to lose pets Thanks I bet you gave your dog a really lovely home xx

HicDraconis · 22/05/2015 19:57

Flowers Wine Brew

If you feel like crying, then cry. You've lost a family member that you've known for over 10 years - you are grieving and it's natural. I'd have been in floods at the nursery. How old is DS? He may not be grieving the loss as you are, but I'm sure he's picking up on your mood and emotions which is more than likely the reason for him acting up at nursery. Give him lots of cuddles and allow all of you some time this weekend.

[hug emoticon] Brew Cake

Debinaround · 22/05/2015 19:58

Thanks For you op.

You have had a shit week so if you want a bit of a cry then have one. X

IPokeBadgers · 22/05/2015 19:58

Losing a pet is terrible. You have had a shit week. Have a good weep when child is in bed. be kind to yourself over next few weeks - hugs Thanks

BuntyBonus · 22/05/2015 21:02

So sorry about the loss of your dog. They are part of our family and it is devastating when they go. Be kind to yourself and cry and grieve. He was a lucky dog to have been so loved and to have had such an impact on your lives.

goldwrapped · 22/05/2015 21:08

YANBU. I'm studying death and dying with the OU. There's a whole section on loss of a pet - it's recognised as legitimate grief. I still cry over my gorgeous Labrador 18 months on. Cry as much as you can, and hug your DC because they're hurting too, but just expressing it differently. It gets better, I promise xxx

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2015 21:13

If it makes you feel better, DD got bitten today at preschool. Very hard. And the parents got a dressing down from preschool. I wasn't bothered at all; DD is fine; she's no angel. So don't feel bad about the naughtiness at school. Is always got to be one child's turn. I'm just glad DD wasn't the instigator.

MrsRossPoldark · 22/05/2015 22:34

Both my sisters lost their elderly rescue dogs within weeks of each other. One sister has now got two more rescues and the other chose not to have another dog. They both still cry, after several years, over their previous dogs.

They were the only reliable elements in their lives as they both experienced divorce during the time they had them. The dogs were always there through the bad times and without their love and companionship they'd have been lost.

I know my dog is a big part of my life and loves me even when I'm feeling sh@t. I will miss him when the time comes.

Cry lots, remember the good times. Only time will tell whether you want another dog, but it won't 'replace' your lost one.??