to just NEVER tell DM anything again

[Anydrinkwilldo]

DM is a worrier and an over thinker. To the point that there are lots of things I now keep from her eg when my DC are ill as it'll never be a simple case of conjunctivitis it is an allergy to the dog d+v bug he ate something at nursery that didn't agree with him or even a simple cold allergy to the dog stuffy bedroom at night pneumonia take your pick. If dc's just have a cold we don't bother gp but DM rings me 2/3 times a day telling me why I have to being them to the gp until they are better. Anyway ds1 has just been diagnosed with asthma and had an asthma attack. Obviously had to tell DM AS he goes on a lot of overnights to her house. Since I told her at 3 pm what happened I have had 4 texts/phone calls that it's not asthma it sounds more like whooping cough/tonsillitis/take your pick again. It's at the point where I actually don't want to tell her anything!

Rant over thanks for listening

Tell her you'll listen to the fully qualified GP about your DS's asthma, and yes don't tell her anything again! How annoying.

I think she might not have enough to do giving her lots of time to worry. My husband says I worry about it if I haven't got anything to worry about. Not true obviously, well maybe a bit but I don't worry about health things generally.

Sympathies OP, my MIL used to write us long letters full of advice, despite the DC being under the relevant professionals for their medical problems, she would say she "did not want to interfere" and how she was "only worried about them because she loves them so much" and then would offer old wives tales, or stories of what she did with her own DC, and said she would pay for visits to quacks for dubious additional 'tests'!

barking mad! well intentioned no doubt, and thankfully she seems to have grown out of it. Thankfully DH just used to roll his eyes and apologise for his mother! LOL

Yes she has way too much time on her hands. Thing is when we were younger we never went to gp unless we were so sick we couldn't walk/talk/move in general. I just have to put up with it but it's so annoying. Dh reckons I shouldn't have told her but she has to know.

Different issue, but I'm never telling my mum anything again either. I never used to, then I did recently, and now I realise why that's a Very Bad Idea.

Mine is exactly the same, OP. Not as in being officious about illness, but give her any 'material' for worry (ie. virtually any information at all about our lives, however trivial) and the next conversation reveals that she's been turning whatever I said over in her mind, making it as black as possible, worrying about it at 3am and saying bloody novenas about it. She is capable of turning any situation into worry fodder, and it's just so negative and draining. It means that I never tell her anything, because there's nothing supportive about telling someone about something that's worrying you, in order for them to perceive the situation as far worse, and pile their worries on yours - it's the reverse of helpful. So I've dealt with worries about my unborn child having a chromosomal abnormality, PND, unemployment, potential homelessness etc etc without telling her, and she will never understand why.

Sorry, OP! Caught me on a nerve. It's exhausting, isn't it?

To be honest op I wouldn't think it was safe or sensible to allow such an anxious person to have an asthmatic child overnight, especially as he has had an attack.

It sounds like your dm isn't coping very well and may have real anxiety issues that, although seem to have attracted derision and impatience on this thread, in RL may need professional help and a bit of kind understanding.

I see your problem and sympathise but suffering anxiety is just as horrible as a physical illness.

My main sympathy is with your dm.

Is she getting help?