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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the receptionist could simply read things out to me!

78 replies

startafresh · 19/05/2015 10:10

Hi all,

I'm a very old member, but haven't posted for so long -various issues kept me off the internet - that I couldn't remember my username and had to re-register.

I really don't know if IBU or not, but I'm definitely upset!

Had an x-ray last week for back pain, was told to call a week later for results. I have had other tests in the last few months, and usually, when the test doesn't show anything abnormal the receptionist is able to say "it came back all normal, wouldn't you like an appointment or not?". In which case I make an informed choice.

I called today, she didn't say anything about the result, just that it was back, and asked me when would I like an appointment for. I always try to avoid booking unnecessary appointments, or will have a phone appointment if I don't actually need to see the doctor, in an effort to save public funds, I think every little helps. So I asked her if the results grand the need for an appointment. She responded that she's not medically trained and I'll have to discuss that with the doctor. Again, I explain nicely that when it is all clear the receptionists can normally say that. She didn't respond and proceeded with the booking.

In a last effort I asked if she has access to the actual results, or just an "all clear" vs "book and appointment" system -she said she can see the results. So I asked if she could please read what was in front of her, as I am medically trained and that would give me peace of mind. She shouted at me !!!! She can't because she's not a doctor!!! Is it only doctors that can read what's in front of them on a screen???

I'm now really upset and worried, don't know what to do or what to think. Why couldn't she just read it? All the secrecy made it very unsettling, like it's someone else's job to give me the bad news. And why did she have to yell at me, when I'm already feeling so vulnerable.

I'm sure there were words she could read on the screen, I didn't ask her for a prognosis or a treatment plan, but it's no different to a diagnosis that comes on a letter, surely?

AIBU?

And what can I do now to calm myself down, I'm thinking the worst, can't focuw on work, it's all I can do not to start crying

OP posts:
Original poster
startafresh · 19/05/2015 14:16

I know that, but it has been several hours since my original post, and clarity has settled in. Completely normal mental process. I can see now that it wasn't about the results.
In fact, I should have asked her to talk more kindly than pushed for the results, but between the shock of her (lack of )manners and my worry about the results, I lost view of what the actual problem was. I can see that now.

OP posts:
justkeeponsmiling · 19/05/2015 14:17

I feel even more sorry for the receptionist now that you phoned your friend who happened to be her line manager and complain about her.
It was clear from your op that you repeatedly asked her for the results and were worked up that she wouldn't give them to you.
UWBU and UABevenmoreU to try and make it sound like anything else, now that loads of posters have told you that UWBU.

fourchetteoff · 19/05/2015 14:20
Confused

Your first post seems pretty clear to me. Are you really getting clarity, or just re-editing things in your mind so that you don't feel bad about pressurising someone beyond what their job should entail? I think we all do that.

grannytomine · 19/05/2015 14:21

Stop digging, you sound worse and worse.

Floggingmolly · 19/05/2015 14:21

Your op says that you asked if she had the results; then asked could she please read what was in front of her...
Matter closed, indeed Hmm I hope whoever you complained to told you a few home truths.

Johnny5isAlive · 19/05/2015 14:23

YABU and pretty nasty if you lied to your friend too as you lied here

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/05/2015 14:23

I you come over as badly on the phone as you do in your posts then I think that it was six of one and half a dozen of the other. The receptionist might have had a difficult manner but she might also have been reacting to the way you were speaking to her.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/05/2015 14:24

If you

RainbowFlutterby · 19/05/2015 14:24

Of course it's possible that your friend knew which receptionist you were talking about because the poor woman had already told her about the difficult patient she'd had to deal with!

Original poster
startafresh · 19/05/2015 14:25

thank you all again. I appreciate every opinion and consider it valuable.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/05/2015 14:33

startafresh
I've looked at your posts again and I was wondering if your first language isn't English. Your posts are written very well, its not meant as a judgment. DH is not a native English speaker and sometimes he comes over as more emphatic and less nuanced than a native speaker without meaning to. I wonder if there was a bit of a communication breakdown.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 19/05/2015 14:37

From your OP, I was going to weigh in as an ex-GP's Receptionist to say that the Receptionist would probably not be permitted to say anything more than "all clear, no issues" or "Dr would like to see you", based on the Dr's assessment of the results not her own. It was always a strict no no to actually read the results out to anybody, for the many reasons already described above.

If it really was the Receptionists manner rather than her refusal to bend the rules for you (even if you are medically trained, rules apply to everyone) then you have a valid point & I hope your complaint does lead to some telephone training for the woman in question.

Original poster
startafresh · 19/05/2015 14:41

I don't see it as a judgement, I grew up trilingual, but english wasn't my everyday language until I moved here 17 years ago.

However, yelling at patients is off in any language, no matter how difficult they are.

OP posts:
chippednailvarnish · 19/05/2015 14:41

Stop digging, you sound worse and worse

Yep, you have gone from sounding like a concerned patient to sounding like someone who simply didn't get their own way and is now looking to "get their own back". I second the idea that your friend has already been warned that you were very difficult on the phone.

Original poster
startafresh · 19/05/2015 14:44

santas, yes, I think that would be beneficial for everyone, including this woman, who I suspect has too much on her shoulders without the right amount of training/support.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2015 14:50

She shouldn't have yelled. Definitely. However there but for the grace if God go I. Had two people talk to me like shit today because our policy wouldn't let me give them what they wanted. I was perfectly nice and apologetic but still they were super obnoxious. It's a fine line stopping me from yelling sometimes I tell ya (have managed not to for 10 years though).

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2015 14:53

You kept asking for what she couldn't give. .push push push..it's hard not to get stressed.

WyrdByrd · 19/05/2015 15:23

Did she really 'yell'? Or did she just speak to you in a very firm manner after you'd been pushing her throughout the conversation?

Having worked in a reception role in various challenging environments, I can't imagine anyone doing the job would actually yell down the phone at a customer, no matter how annoying.

Quite apart from anything else, they would be heard by their colleagues which would rein them in if nothing else.

NoIsNotACompleteSentence · 19/05/2015 15:47

YABU, and you know it, you are back tracking like mad...

You sound like you were an arse to her (first) and then complained to your friend, who is her line manager, about her - when you know she actually did her job correctly!

People who say things like, well it's their job not to get irate back when dealing with irate people, tend to forget they are dealing with other human beings, not robots. She was right not to give results by telephone, you know she was right, you are just being vindictive.

Would you care to expound on what your "medical training" consists of? Presumably if you are expert in interpreting X-ray results, you could have asked for a copy of the X-ray report to be sent to you as well as the GP.

grannytomine · 19/05/2015 16:28

People who say things like, well it's their job not to get irate back when dealing with irate people, tend to forget they are dealing with other human beings, not robots. She was right not to give results by telephone, you know she was right, you are just being vindictive.

Reminds me of when I had a Saturday job many moons ago. A customer was complaining about the heat, I agreed with her and she looked at me in amazement and said, "But you shouldn't feel it, you're getting paid."

Hard to figure out how some people's minds work.

NoIsNotACompleteSentence · 19/05/2015 16:49

Grannytomine, I was once the bearer of bad news to a customer, very boring and irrelevant to thread, but he wasn't entitled to the "compensation" he wanted from the company I worked for. I did not get "irate" until he threatened to come and find me and burn my house down - as I was paid by the company, according to him, I should expect to "take the shit on their behalf".

You see it all the time, I saw a woman being a complete arse to a Waitrose worker just yesterday - it's as though they think being an employee of the organisation they are unhappy with, justifies treating them like shit on a personal level.

NoIsNotACompleteSentence · 19/05/2015 16:50

To clarify, I did not even get "irate" back, just hung up and reported him to the police!

grannytomine · 19/05/2015 16:54

Nowt so queer as folk.

CumberCookie · 19/05/2015 17:09

I know you're worried but I think YABU. I feel if she could have told "all clear" you she would have done, but she can't because it is more complex. It might not be anything to worry about but you will still need to speak to a medically trained doctor about it.

Mrsstarlord · 19/05/2015 19:07

I don't get it Confused

In the OP you describe repeatedly pushing her to read what is written on the computer screen.
You later decided that you didn't ask her and she just yelled at you. Something doesn't ring quite true here Hmm