Dreading telling the DC I am pregnant?

[stateoftheart]

I have 4 DC with my Exh. Aged 5-12. Have been split up with ExH for 2 years, although we still spent alot of time together for the first year. Have been with new partner for 1yr and am now pregnant, wasn't planned but now very much excited.

I am now 18wks and have told a handful of people but not the DC. Am so worried that will be upset. The younger two still regularly talk about me and their dad getting back together and sometimes there are still tears. The older two find the younger two annoying and sometimes wish them away .

Obvs this isn't the best timing but it can't be helped now. I am planning to take them out for ice cream without DP and tell the Friday but I am even tearful thinking about it. I will try and push the good bits for them like me having 9 months off and no more breakfast club

Firstly congratulations.
I think it's a good idea to take them out without your new partner.
Yanbu to worry, my oldest son cried, he was 11!! But.... He was the first to open his arms and hold his new baby brother at the hospital. All siblings are a curse and blessing. My advice would be listen, let them have their say about their worries, fears and so on. They may surprise you, depends on how they get in with your new dp. Best of luck.

Ahh, we told our DCs week before last that I'm pregnant. Not the same situation as yours but stressful non the less as we have 8 children already. Thankfully they were all delighted as its a girl. Our 3 current youngest are boys then we have a dd at 7, 2 more boys and then the eldest 2 DCs are girls.. I think it would have been a different story had it been a boy.

I'm sure they will surprise you, if not when you tell them, when the baby is born. Good luck xx

Shit in hell Scorpio - 8 already!!!!!!!
congratulations to you too.

thanks! I know both from big families, it runs in our genes from way back when lol I'd feel strange if we didn't to be honest (this is the last one though)

Op, you need to tell the children adapt before somebody slips up and they find out other people knew before them.
It won't be easy but they might be really excited at the prospect of a new baby brother or sister. I don't really have advice on how to tell them though. Do they get on really well with your DP? If so I'd tell them when you're all together. If not I'd tell them in my own.

Scorpio!
Congratulations. I can't work out if I'm jealous or think you're bonkers! How do you manage, like, anything? I find it a struggle with one DC at times lol

Thanks for the replies.

Yes the DC do get on with DP, as it is fairly new I still get him to visit his mum or friends after school quite a bit so I can have the DC on my own. But they will ask after him and want to know when he will be back.

We're just blessed to have very well behaved (most of the time) good mannered, helpful children. We all chip in with mammoth tasks like laundry/dishwasher/putting the food shop away/bathtime etc the big ones help the small ones and hubs and I take turns doing tea. It works for us. (Im bonkers though I believe!)

DS1 was 16 when I told him about DS3. He cried. He thought I'd want him to move out now I had a 'new family' I was gutted he was so upset. But he came around pretty quickly and now loves DS3 very much. He's often the first to pick up the baby if he cries and I often find them together. He tries to act all cool but he's fooling no-one!
Good luck op. Hope it goes well.

A year with your new partner isn't long. Surely he doesn't live with you yet bearing in mind you have four children. Which one of the children will have to share a room? Does a new child fit logistically in your current home.

We were casual for 6 months before we got serious and I introduced him to the children. He has lived here for a round 5 months, not that was to do with my post at all.

I am not sure where the new baby will sleep yet as don't know what I am having but will hope to move by the time the baby is ready for a room thanks for the concern flabulous.

No matter how they react "in the moment" of the news - and let's face it, children tend to be selfish little buggers they will be thrilled to be Big Sister and Big Brother and to be able to help you with the new baby once it is here. Maybe play on the aspect of them being more "grown up" and being bigger and how little the new one will be and how much s/he will love their big siblings?
I remember once being distraught when a teacher at parents evening told me my no2 son had said "we've got a new baby at home and I HATE IT" when DD was tiny, and I worried and chewed and stressed, and then when I eventually worked out how to gently ask him (my pfb was 12 and no2 was 8 when DD was born) it turned out he'd actually said that he hated that he would have to share a room with his brother once DD was big enough to need her own room. The "it" was the sharing, not his sister, he loved, and still does, her to bits!
And even then he perked up when we bought them a games console and bunk beds
No matter what they think, their sibling is coming to join the family. Tell them soon and let them have time to get used to the idea, maybe get them to help with the baby things, buying little bootees or making pictures or whatever they like, to welcome the new addition.
At ages 5-12 they probably won't even think about quite how the new baby got into your tummy - although your 12 yr old might cringe a bit mine has a fit if DH and I so much as kiss in front of her

I think they ?ould love to get involved in buying some bits for the baby. Great idea!!