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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not give my exh my new phone number

9 replies

Mygardenistoobig · 17/05/2015 20:46

Iv'e name changed for this.

Divorced acrimoniously from h.

The usual , he told lies I tried to make it work.

He lied and we had a temporary split only for me to discover there was a ow.

He spent money which we did not have ( unbeknown to me) left me with no option but to move out of the family home with my 3 dcs and seek local authority housing which thankfully we were allocated after the bank were on the verge of repossessing our home due to ex h spending then refusal to pay his debts.

He does not pay maintenance and refused point blank to agree access to see the dcs.

The usual. If I had acted the same then I would expect to be in prison for child neglect.

Whilst divorcing I sought a round the table meeting to try and thrash out a compromise with regard to finances.

He point blank refused to meet me face to face, therefore ensued a costly legal bill.

In the end I stumped up the cost of divorce. Agreed to let the house go for well under market value.
Changed my number on the advice of my solicitor and the police. Dcs all have phones so ex can contact them.

Against my better nature I gave him my phone number mainly to stop him ringing dd1 asking her to tell me this and that and what a crap mother I am etc etc.

The last time he called he started telling me that the debt he had accrued was for x and y . I told him not to mention it as it was i the past and of no consequence to me now, I have moved on. Cue the ow screaming abuse in the background. I hung up , refused to answer again.

Cue several messages to dd1 again telling her that everything was my daultand one day she would come to realise that her having to leave her nice home was all my fault.

I now gave a new phone.

Ex h had phoned both ds to ask for my new number, thankfully they have not given it to him.

He has said he needs to speak to me, with regards to the unresolved issue of finances.

I can wait .

He has told the girls that I have refused his offer of how to split the house proceeds.

I don't want him to ring me he knows this.

Sorry this is long.

Why won't he just sod off?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 20:50

YANBU

Tell him email contact only

This should keep him off the kids backs, and it means you have proof of anything he's said if you need it.

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/05/2015 20:53

Oh my gosh. Definitely withhold your number. I'd actually think of changing the children's numbers - they should not have to receive horrible messages from him. He can arrange contact with them through you (by email). I guess he'd probably pressure them to give him their new numbers though so that might not work. I suppose you just need to make sure that your kids continue to feel like they can tell you about any messages he leaves - you don't want them to feel like they have to 'spare you'.

Debinaround · 17/05/2015 20:59

He sounds a right bellend.

Has he got debt in both your names?

Can you not speak to your solicitor again and ask them to send a letter to him to get all the debts sorted from the sale of the house then tell him to get fucked?

Mygardenistoobig · 17/05/2015 21:21

Thanks for the replies.

The only thing left to sort is the proc eds of the house sale.

We are at a stalemate but I am willing to wait I have been advised to stick it out as what I a proposing is very reasonable

There is nothing more to discus with him
I believed he wod be quite satisfied, I paid for the divorce to get rid of him and finalise things.

He has married ow we have both moved on.

I am quite prepared to wait for the proceeds of the sale
.

I'm in the process of looking for better paid jobs to support myself and dc.

Money is tight espeCially without financa help from the ex but I am resigned to making do.

I don't want to speak to him
, have tried and in an ideal world we would be civilised but that is. Or going to happen any time soon.

He would not even go to parents evening because I was going, how pathetic is that.

.

T

OP posts:
Mygardenistoobig · 17/05/2015 21:24

Sorry for typos on new phone
.

Oh and he managed to persuade ds to let him have his key to the old house the. Stole the things I had agreed to sell to the new house buyers !

OP posts:
flora717 · 17/05/2015 21:25

Complete arse. Definitely insist on email only contact.

mrsfuzzy · 17/05/2015 21:29

no phone number, emails only, you and dc are well out of it, and feel sorry for his new wife for marrying a complete prat,

RandomMess · 17/05/2015 21:33

Can you not pursue him for maintenance, are you not in England/Wales?

RandomMess · 17/05/2015 21:35

BTW YANBU at all in the slightest.

I would write his solicitor a letter informing him that if the harassment continues you will be reporting him to the police.

Sod that log it all and speak to the police.

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