AIBU to not attend her hen party?

[crumblybiscuits]

I have a close friend's hen do coming up in two weeks. I lost my daughter at 16 weeks a fortnight ago. Close friend is also pregnant but a few weeks behind where I was and we had been so excited about going through pregnancy together until now. This would have been my second daughter and her first child after a miscarriage a year ago. I am really trying my hardest to be positive about close friend's pregnancy but I am finding it really hard to cope with the baby talk and thinking about everything I should be looking forward to and celebrating with her. Would I damage the friendship by declining attending her hen do? There will be many other girls there who do not know I suffered a loss recently and as it's a sober event it will undoubtedly be baby focused and I would feel selfish asking her to not talk about her pregnancy because I was there after suffering a loss. Do I suck it up for a night or just politely decline?

Decline. So so sorry for your loss. Why don't you and she do something more low key another day?

I would decline. I had a similar situation but i went to a hen do where one of the other guests was pregnant at the same stage as I had been but I had lost my baby, she spent the whole hen do complaining about having to be the sober one and how she couldn't believe she was on a hen do so pregnant etc, it was really hurtful.

I'm sure your friend won't be anywhere near that insensitive but it is a situation which is really sensitive for you and if it were me I would avoid putting yourself through it.

Sorry for your loss xx

Crumbly Biscuit, Just write the note you put in your 2nd comment into a card and maybe arrange to do something nice for both of you after the hen do - Go for a meal, afternoon tea, pedicure whatever.

If it helps I had to miss a dear friends hen do as my pregnancy is high risk and I just wasn't able for a weekend of partying... I arranged for a bottle of champagne to be in her hotel room and she loved it.

But a true friend and she sounds like one, will understand that you need to take of yourself now.

Please do make sure you look after yourself as it must be such a tough time.