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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I can't sleep with this man because of where he lives.

23 replies

DoTheDuckFace · 16/05/2015 23:32

I recently met a man who I am attracted to and he is interested in me. I m not looking for a relationship, I have a terrible habit of picking rubbish men, but would be up for a friends with benefits type relationship.
So we have got chatting and all was going well until he mentioned where he lives.
On the same street as my ex husband who lives as the bottom and an ex boyfriend who lives at the top. Both of who moved to that street after their relationship with me had ended.
As if that isn't bad enough, he went to school with my ex husband and currently works in the same place as my ex boyfriend.
So Aibu to just write this one off as being too much of a small world.

OP posts:

BossierCity · 16/05/2015 23:41

If it's just a FWB situation then yes I would just leave it.

But if you think it would progress into something more and both like each other then I would say go for it. They are exs and no longer part of your life so it would seem silly to not see this guy because really what are they going to do?

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 16/05/2015 23:48

Good point, nothing would ever come of it from either ex. The ex bf might slag me off a bit but I am sure new bloke can make his own mind up.
Exh and I still see each other as we have DC together but we have been seperated 4.5 years and he lives with his new girlfriend so he would have no reason to say anything.
It just feels a bit weird I can't put my finger on it.

OP posts:

Totality22 · 16/05/2015 23:48

God yes leave well alone.

AgentZigzag · 16/05/2015 23:52

Your exes both moved there after your relationship with them ended, but he's already living there, it's an omen that it's meant to be

Is it about the 'bad luck' bit or is it that you're worried about what will be said/noticed by your exes?

If you like the bloke who gives a stuff? Start with FWB and see how it goes.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/05/2015 23:52

Definitely not worth the potential drama if this was only ever going to be casual.

Also, speak to your council and get them to build more streets. You're currently fishing in a very small pond

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 16/05/2015 23:56

I don't know what it is, it just feels weird. I think I am worried that if he works with and lives near the ex bf they might talk about me? I know they probably won't but I will be thinking they are.

OP posts:

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 16/05/2015 23:57

cupid haha I thought about just going door to door and giving the hot ones a numbered ticket.
Its ridiculous we live in a smallish town but seriously, there are lots of streets!

OP posts:

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/05/2015 23:59

Is it a big street? (It's relevant, I promise!)

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 17/05/2015 00:29

Erm well no not really exh lives at no 3 - bottom of street and ex bf lives at no 14 - very top of street.

OP posts:

BossierCity · 17/05/2015 00:35

I don't know what it is, it just feels weird. I think I am worried that if he works with and lives near the ex bf they might talk about me?

I get where you're coming from.

What if it was the other way around, and you worked with his ex girlfriend. Would you believe her if she bad mouthed him?

Also is it a big company? Where I work I can barely recognise a majority of people from different departments to my own - nevermind who they are dating.

However if they were friends, I'd maybe leave it. Could potentially be awkward as could be socialising outside of work?

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 17/05/2015 00:40

I'm not sure how big it is, I will have a google.
When he told me his job I knew it was going to be that company so I asked and mentioned that I knew one of his neighbours that worked there in a oh isn't it a small world way. He knew instantly who I knew and how.
If his ex was bad mouthing him I wouldn't take any notice unless she was a friend of mine. I'm not sure how well they know each other.

OP posts:

CupidStuntSurvivor · 17/05/2015 00:56

Definitely a no then OP...they might exchange chit chat while putting out the bins!

BossierCity · 17/05/2015 01:02

Well then that's just weird if he knew who your ex boyfriend is without you even telling him.

Focusfocus · 17/05/2015 04:35

Well sad as it is, we don't know any of our neighbours except the lovely ones right next door.

So, say we being No 21, I'd have absolutely no clue what someone in No 3 or 16 was up to in their bedroom.

The only thing might be if you run into either ex when scut soon going to or leaving the place of this nan. And if you do, and that makes you uncomfortable or you think you may be perceived as crazy stalker lady then best to not pursue.

But as far as people on same street being all chatty snd pally well no. Does my work thya way always. We generally tend to hang out with people who live further away from us!

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 17/05/2015 07:17

Keeping your exes contained on one one street is GENIUS!!

Good thinking. I'm going to do that.

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 17/05/2015 07:31

At least if it all went wrong I could just avoid that street and rest easy that I won't bump into them.
Bossier I assume its because I said I know one of your neighbours who works at that company, so the only neighbour he works with is probably my ex and he is a ladies man it is a reasonable assumption that we were involved.
Summer is coming up, imangine new bloke had his window open and either ex walked passed to go to the shop or something, they might recognise my sex noises!

OP posts:

NiceBitOfCheese · 17/05/2015 10:38

imangine new bloke had his window open and either ex walked passed to go to the shop or something, they might recognise my sex noises!

I lead such a sheltered life, totally monochrome compared to yours. You have brightened up my morning and put my own worries into perspective Thank you.

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 17/05/2015 11:04

Thanks NiceCheese well I try to keep my sense of humour about things so I am glad to have brightened up your day

OP posts:

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 17/05/2015 12:31

At the risk of sounding Puritanical (and sounding like my mother) why not try being friends without benefits for a while first and see if it has the potential to be something more. If you like him and he likes you then I wouldn't let your exes living on the same street put you off.

NiceBitOfCheese · 17/05/2015 12:39

Sorry, OP, if I treated your concerns lightheartedly. I have no useful advice, and will bow out. Hope you get a solution that works for you.

Original poster

DoTheDuckFace · 17/05/2015 13:31

NiceCheese I wasn't offended in anyway and you reply made me smile, honestly.

IWantToGo I don't want anything to develop, I don't want a full blown relationship, with anybody, not just this bloke. I am happy with my life as it is for the time being.
I do however find this man attractive, enjoy having sex (in general, I haven't slept with him yet) and wouldn't mind a physical relationship with him. Luckily he feels the same so if it weren't for the weird geography we could be at it like the proverbial rabbits

OP posts:

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 17/05/2015 15:25

Go for it then, sod your exes and geography!

StickEm · 17/05/2015 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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