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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Happy, helpy husband and the miserable shrewish wife

26 replies

Spl0ink · 16/05/2015 15:29

I've decided to write you a short fairytale.

Once upon a time there was a wife. Her birthday fell on a Sunday in May and her happy, helpful, celebratory husband decided they should have a small party to celebrate it. He invited a handful of their mutual friends and excitably set about buying nice food and borrowing chairs and tidying up the house.

Over the winter, he had completely landscaped their garden so that it was now looking really beautiful in the fledgling spring. He swept and mopped the house in anticipation of the visitors.

The wife was 38 weeks pregnant, had SPD, suffered from a degree of social anxiety and was generally a bit of a miserable old haggis anyway.

AIBU to hope fervently to go into labour this evening so I don't have to go to my own birthday party?

OP posts:
TheHoundsBitch · 16/05/2015 15:35

Oh bless you. I'm sure you'll enjoy it once everyone is there :)

Fatmomma99 · 16/05/2015 15:35

Aw. Bless you.

Happy Birthday! Flowers

I'd give you Wine as well, but not at 38 weeks pregnant!

Hope it's a better evening than you anticipate.

Pollyswall · 16/05/2015 15:35

Why do men have to be so annoying?

ApocalypseThen · 16/05/2015 15:35

I'm 38 weeks too and I find that if you're honest about how it's affecting you, people are very kind. You could maybe enjoy the first hour or two and excuse yourself?

esiotrot2015 · 16/05/2015 15:36

I'm just Envy of you're lovely husband !

Theycallmemellowjello · 16/05/2015 15:36

Eep I hope he asked you first.

esiotrot2015 · 16/05/2015 15:37

Oops your

Can you send him round mine ? Grin

TanteRose · 16/05/2015 15:37

Aww! He sounds like he's worked hard to make it a special day for you! Happy birthday for tomorrow - it's my birthday too!
Do you want to share your birthday with your child? I know I wouldn't Wink

Wombat22 · 16/05/2015 15:37

Happy birthday Thanks Cake

Trills · 16/05/2015 15:39

Will you actually probably quite enoy yourself?

Or is this one of those situations where someone does a nice thing for you that is actually more hassle than it is worth, but you have to act grateful anyway?

TwerkingSpinster · 16/05/2015 15:41

This is meeee! I hate being social, and honestly, I'd prefer labour to small talk! But, can you think if it as a gathering that buys you lots of friend-free time once baby does come???

Tangoandcreditcards · 16/05/2015 16:04

Ooh. I've got the exact same thing. 8 members of my family coming over for a BBQ to our new house where DP has made garden awesome.

Except I'm 8 weeks pregnant and don't want to tell anyone yet (they will twig, the soars bedroom in the new house has piqued interest), and I just want to sleep and not talk to anyone.

Mine is next weekend. You can come and hide out at mine tomorrow if I can come to you next week?

Happy birthday. Sending labour-inducing thoughts. Or I'll see you tomorrow.

Tangoandcreditcards · 16/05/2015 16:05

*spare bedroom

Original poster
Spl0ink · 16/05/2015 16:20

Ooh thanks everybody. Your lovely replies have actually made me blub slightly Smile :hormones:

He is lovely. He's outside in the sun while I'm burrowing on the sofa and he just came in and said, apropos of nothing, "if you're not up for it tomorrow I'll send them all off to the pub".

OP posts:
kickassangel · 16/05/2015 16:23

Get the helpful husband to arrange some chairs so that you have a 'throne' - with plenty of empty space around you. Maybe a table next to you to put food, drink and presents on. And definitely a footstool to rest your feet on. Then people won't be able to get too close. You can smile graciously, and nod at them occasionally to show that they are appreciated, but you won't have to actually talk to anyone. You can just pretend that you're watching a TV programme featuring your friends, wishing you a happy birthday, while you sit quietly and enjoy it all.

Hotbot · 16/05/2015 16:54

Ltb...
grin

Fatmomma99 · 17/05/2015 12:43

I think I'm falling a little bit in love with your husband....

HolgerDanske · 17/05/2015 12:46

He is a good man. Lucky you Smile

Also, Brew and Cake and good luck in the next couple of weeks!

HolgerDanske · 17/05/2015 12:47

Oh and happy birthday of course! Flowers

wheresthelight · 17/05/2015 12:49

very jealous of you! you dh sounds lovely!!

however at 38 weeks yanbu to want to crawl into a corner and ignore the world! my birthday was 3 weeks before I gave birth and a party is the last thing I would have wanted.

can you talk to your dh and explain that you love him dearly for the thought but you would much prefer a nice takeaway, a slushy chick flick and an early night?

wheresthelight · 17/05/2015 12:50

and happy birthday Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks

Anniegetyourgun · 17/05/2015 13:06

"if you're not up for it tomorrow I'll send them all off to the pub"

Oh, oh, you know what? That's really sweet. Don't tell 'em on the Relationships board though, I have a reputation to maintain.

HeadOfBetter · 17/05/2015 13:09

He's definitely a keeper - for the pub comment especially.

Golferman · 17/05/2015 13:14

On radio two this mor o g, some guy asked the DJ to play a song for his wife on their 25 anniversary. He was on Golgi g trip to Spain! He is taking her to York for a weekend tho.......Shock

RiskManagement · 17/05/2015 13:15

YANBU. Surprise parties are so selfish. So much more about the giver being seen to be "good" than the receiver enjoying them .

Doesn't your lovely husband know this isn't the kind of event you'd enjoy?

Although this one does sound very lovely.