Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Light hearted, potty training parenting fail.

20 replies

Inlawsandoutlaws · 15/05/2015 19:07

I'm so proud of my DD, 21 months for doing a poo on her potty tonight, so why on earth did I fucking turn away for 30 seconds to carry on doing the dishes? Why? Well she's done a poo on her potty so she may feel the urge to do a wee soon after. Oh boy, has she excelled herself.

During those mere 30 seconds, DD has not only managed to make herself look like a full English breakfast by smearing her belly, thighs and forearms with baked beany, sausagey poo, she has managed to take her disfuckingcustingness to a whole new level. She was caught red shit handed, squelching the remainer of the poo that hadn't been used as body paint into her fucking mouth!!! Uggghhhhhhh!
This is definitely worse than sucking the toilet brush or that time she ate flies!

OP posts:

AuntyMag10 · 15/05/2015 19:09

FluffyPingPong · 15/05/2015 19:24

I have no words...

CupidStuntSurvivor · 15/05/2015 19:27

Good one for teen blackmail

I did just learn a lesson from your story that will stay with me...

Never turn your back on a filled potty.

DoTheDuckFace · 15/05/2015 19:28

I just did sick in my mouth

UpWithPup · 15/05/2015 19:31

Could you have her adopted? no, really

Original poster

Inlawsandoutlaws · 15/05/2015 19:34

cupid difficult lesson to learn. pup I have seriously considered it but she is so god damn cute I just cant

OP posts:

Cheby · 15/05/2015 19:36

Wow. And I thought DD's poo in her tights potty training fail earlier today was bad. You definitely win OP!

Bearfrills · 15/05/2015 19:44

chinam · 15/05/2015 20:33

Upwithpup, I know you meant it as a joke but comments like yours make me as a mother of adopted children want to bang my head off the table.

Original poster

Inlawsandoutlaws · 15/05/2015 21:31

Always a fun sponge ....

OP posts:

chinam · 15/05/2015 21:40

You're right, it's totally funny when we pretend to put children up for adoption when they do something we don't like. It's a laugh a minute when my poor babies ask if that's why they were placed for adoption.

SaucyJack · 15/05/2015 21:44

A few weeks ago my 14 month old got half way through a particularly tricky poo..... and then just gave up. I had to massage it out.

Not exactly the Kodak you dream of when you get your two pink lines.

Charlotte3333 · 15/05/2015 21:49

I was adopted at 10 and smiled at the "have her adopted". I don't recall ever having asked why I was adopted; it was always made patently clear in our house that I'd done nothing wrong, that my childhood was the result of other people's bad choices.

Potty training was always ridiculous in this house. We took DS2 shopping for his own potty, he bought some ridiculous duck-shaped thing from Mamas and Papas, pooped in it for the first time and threw the poo-filled potty across the room to me to show me what he'd done. I will admit I considered adoption for just one second that day.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 15/05/2015 23:41

There's always one that manages to turn a joke into a person trial.

A joke will always offend someone somewhere, but it wasn't personally meant for you.

Sometimes some people really need to remember their life is not the centre of the universe.

Yes I'm harsh, but some people bring it on themselves and I'm in a bad mood.

OP - disustingly hilarious, that'll teach ya ;)

backtowork2015 · 16/05/2015 19:54

uurrrgghhh! my tea's in the oven and im not hungry anymore, that is SO grim!!

I remember a potty training highlight, my dd told me she just felt she hadn't quite finished her poo, I looked and found a runner bean poking out . I had to pull it out! (fingers covered in loo roll obviously). She must have swallowed it whole and it was an extraordinarily long runner bean!! quite a satisfying experience if im honest

Lorgy · 16/05/2015 19:57

Both my parents were adopted and they still threatened to put me up for adoption when I was driving them mad!

CrohnicallyInflexible · 16/05/2015 20:26

DD is potty training at the moment. We were out and about when she announced she needed a wee. So I took her over to the bushes and held her to do her wee. She'd just finished when I smelt something, and out popped a poo, too!

Luckily I had some nappy bags handy so was able to bag it and pop it in the dog waste bin, DD then got upset demanding to see where her poo had gone, and then proceeded to tell everyone she met that 'mummy got my poo in a bag'.

StarlingMurmuration · 16/05/2015 20:35

My six month DS laid a poo-egg in my hand the other day. I was changing his nappy because he'd done a little poo, and then he started straining. He's recently changed to a new prescription formula and he's been a bit constipated, so I thought I might have to help it out - I put my hand up to his bum and he just popped out a poo the size and shape of a hen's egg right into my hand. The things you do for love.

StarlingMurmuration · 16/05/2015 20:37

I did have a wet wipe in my hand so it wasn't quite as horrifying/amusing as it might have been, I hasten to add.

zoobaby · 16/05/2015 21:56

Eurgh!

Kudos to you for not immediately projectile vomiting!

Flip