Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lone parents with babies of a few MONTHS old being threatened with sanctions...

220 replies

MrsNextDoor · 15/05/2015 14:02

here on the Gingerbread site

Bloody bastards!!!

One lone parent was told that she was being sanctioned because she'd turned down a nightshift job on account of not being able to find overnight childcare.

Others with children of 3 or 4 months old were being told they had to find work immediately or lose their benefits.

What the actual!??? In many cases, job advisers are giving their clients the wrong information....seemingly deliberately...telling them the law has changed and they must get work now....the most vulnerable people...lone parents with infants...being bullied. Angry AIBU to think this should be stopped immediately!?

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 16/05/2015 01:54

"JC lady said that a large amount of staff there are part time, receive tax.credits and will be having to follow the same rules - having interviews with their colleagues and justifying why they won't be taking more hours."

This is completely unethical. Surely you cant be interviewed by a colleugue who already knows you.

Charis1 · 16/05/2015 06:39

Lone parents are fucking heroes in my opinion and deserve flowers

Olive, I disagree with your entire post. Parenting is hard. It is physically and emotionally demanding.

But it is also fantastic and amazing.

it isn't any easier with a partner, in fact anyone struggling as a single parent would be struggling just as much with two adults, or three.

Actually being a single parent is a very good life, and in many ways EASIER than parenting with a partner.

SouthWestmom · 16/05/2015 07:29

Ok but going by Tracey posts she is on a work related activity group and had done placements, then got pregnant. Just based on that info she cant carry on with the work related activity or the conditions so should move over or try to meet them.

fortunately · 16/05/2015 07:32

As a lone parent who works full time (and have done since DS was 8 months old) I agree that if working parents usually go back after 9 to 12 months then so should single parents.

My DS is at the cm, I pick him up after work and then do dinner, bath, bed. No housework or anything else gets done until the weekends, there isn't time.

It's not impossible, I don't see that he needs me at home any more than any other child and frankly I want to work (as well as having to pay the rent).

I'm luckily that my job is broadly compatible with having a child but even so I've taken certain career decisions out of necessity with DS in mind, same as any other parent.

Being a LP isn't a miserable grind. It's very rewarding and fulfilling and far better than attempting to parent with my useless ex.

Charis1 · 16/05/2015 07:41

Being a LP isn't a miserable grind. It's very rewarding and fulfilling

exactly

Pispcina · 16/05/2015 07:50

Charis have you ever been a single parent? Or are you just here to goad?

traceybaybee · 16/05/2015 07:56

noeuf i suggest like a pp said you look at the conditions of esa. The work related activity group is for taking steps back towards work and do take your health into consideration too. It took me a year to sort my esa from initial claim through to winning my appeal so no im not going to change to another benefit after such a struggle and my doctor and cpn agree with me as well as citizens advice when ive had to speak to them

BeautifulLiar · 16/05/2015 08:09

Ahhh this must have been the bullshit my friend was fed last year at the job centre. She was on income support with a 3 year old and a 1 year old and started panicking because they'd told her she'd have to start looking for a job soon.

Those tactics didn't really work with her though. She got pregnant again...

fiveacres · 16/05/2015 08:33

Problem is, generalising only takes us as far as individuals.

'Single parenthood is relentless / stressful / awkward / awful / wonderful / rewarding.'

We know what the barriers are to children achieving: it's the education of the parent(s). It isn't being at home, being away, being breastfed, being bottle fed, having a father, not having a father. It's linked to the education of the main carer(s).

Having children was once a convenient way of taking yourself away from the job market for a decade or so. Now not so much. The question isn't about what's best for the child from the governments point of view because that's for individuals to decide amongst themselves. The question is what's best for society. It is easy to claim that children put in nursery from the age of 12, 24, 36 months isn't - I disagree; as aermingers succinctly pointed out, the children of working parents have to do this and are none the worse for it. What is best for society from the rather cynical point of view of the government is people not taking more than they put in.

It is not the role or the responsibility of the state to consider what works best for individual families.

Charis1 · 16/05/2015 09:20

Charis have you ever been a single parent? Or are you just here to goad?

I have been a single parent for 17 years. I have said nothing "goady" at all,

Being a single parent is wonderful.

Being a singe parent does not exempt you from your responsibility to work and support yourself and your children.

I can't stand all this drivel about what a hard life it is, and how much benefits we should all be entitled to.

Pispcina · 16/05/2015 09:21

Charis1 Fri 15-May-15 19:52:25

fortunately if you're unemployed and pregnant you continue jumping through ridiculous hoops for your JSA until 29 weeks, at which point you move over to IS and breathe a massive sigh of relief that the bastards will finally leave you alone for a little while.

Which bastards? The ones spreying out free money for doing nothing, expecting even more free money for bringing dependants into the world you can't support?
_

That's not goady?

Charis1 · 16/05/2015 09:30

That's not goady?

It is not goady at all. A system which doles out free money non stop, but asks please can you try and find a job and take care of your own children - this is perfectly reasonable, and over generous.

What is goady about enquiring why call them "bastards" ?

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 16/05/2015 09:51

Charis the system pays people who are unemployed a very small amount of money which doesn't even cover the basics. Perhaps you'd rather we left them to starve in the street as they do in 3rd world countries?

Would you like that? Children and babies with their ribs sticking out? Begging for food?

Because without a decent benefit system that is what happens.

OP posts:
fiveacres · 16/05/2015 10:26

The point is that is not the system we have in the UK

StormyBrid · 16/05/2015 10:27

A system that asks you to find a job: fine. A system that actively tries to trip you up so you can be sanctioned and left with no money to feed your children with, a system that's designed to punish you for not finding a job when there are no suitable jobs: not fine. The threat of sanctions is an appalling thing to live under; in PP's case I'd be looking to see if I could survive on IS rather than ESA because removing the threat of sanctions removes the threat of homelessness and starvation.

LotusLight · 16/05/2015 10:27

I went back full time having just taken 2 weeks of annual leave for each baby and it was fine. I don't see why single mothers are in some special position where they get a better deal than those of us who work full time whether married or not.

Yes it's hard work being up all night breastfeeding and then leaving early for work but we do it as women. We do it because we want to be net givers to the system, to help the poor, to ensure we pay tax and give a work ethic to our babies and toddlers.

scattered · 16/05/2015 10:30

Working in the advice sector, i know that Jobcentreplus staff are famous for giving misleading and wrong information, and witholding anything that might actually help the client. It's a disgrace but I suspect that low morale in the job means they are not inclined to learn.

SouthWestmom · 16/05/2015 10:35

Tracey I don't think you or I will agree or understand what the other is trying to explain.

Shall we leave it there?

I do think that handing out worrying misinformation in an official capacity (thread point) is something to be addressed.

almosthuman · 16/05/2015 10:42

LotusLight can i ask why you only took two weeks off after giving birth?

DuploTakingOver · 16/05/2015 10:45

JC lady said that a large amount of staff there are part time, receive tax.credits and will be having to follow the same rules - having interviews with their colleagues and justifying why they won't be taking more hours.

A quick Google tells me according to PCS Union 40% of DWP staff administering Universal Credit will be claiming it themselves.

www.pcs.org.uk/download.cfm?docid=710AAEA1-273A-4509-A60DC965D8B421DA

SoonToBeSix · 16/05/2015 10:58

10 Aermingers your post still makes no sense are you honestly saying your dh earns less than the couple rate of IS plus your rent paid at the equivalent of LHA? Unless that is the case you can stay at home and still have more money coming into the household than a single parent. You could choose to stay at home and be with your children and still have a much better deal.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 16/05/2015 11:05

10 Aermingers your post still makes no sense are you honestly saying your dh earns less than the couple rate of IS plus your rent paid at the equivalent of LHA? Unless that is the case you can stay at home and still have more money coming into the household than a single parent. You could choose to stay at home and be with your children and still have a much better deal.

Single parent or not, herein lies the problem.

SoonToBeSix · 16/05/2015 11:45

Lotus going back to work when your babies were only two weeks old is nothing to be proud of.

Stinkersmum · 16/05/2015 12:04

SoonToBeSix and it's nothing to be ashamed of either. Who the hell do you think you are??

VanillaTwirl · 16/05/2015 12:05

Almosthuman, it's only in the last few years that such (overly now imo) generous maternity provisions have been a right in this country.
Many women had to return to work after a very short period of time off.

When I had my first in 2002 I only had 12 weeks on full pay, followed by a further 5 on SMP - 4 months total.
I had to work right up until the week I gave birth to get the full 4 months off after.
Some poor girls who took the month off before their due date then went overdue only got just over 2 months off with their new baby.

The OP is inflammatory, incorrect and misleading.
Single parents are not forced back to work when their babies are a few months old - only working parents are.

Swipe left for the next trending thread