AIBU refusing to help?

[ItsTricky]

We live in a residential area on the edge of a small valley. The schools are all on the other side of the valley. Our walk to school is about 10 minutes which involves about 50 steps either side of the valley. There is a road for a step free walk but it adds roughly 10/15 minutes to the walk.

The valley steps aren't really suitable for pushchairs. They're not deep enough to get the front wheels and back wheels on so the only way to get a pushchair across is if two people lift it. I see a few people doing this if walking to school in groups and I guess if a friend is happy lifting another friends pushchair that is fine.

I have three children and for the years I had a pushchair I walked the longer, road route. Going through the valley with a pushchair seemed ridiculous. Now I only have the youngest to walk to school we walk through the valley, we love it and the steps are great exercise!

Since the Easter holidays there's a new lady walking my route with a toddler in a pushchair. I feel kind of obliged to help her lift it if I'm walking at the same time but it kills me!! I'm quite strong and fit but 50 steps down and 50 steps up is really tough. The child in the buggy is about 18 months and hates the whole process and complains loudly. I've mentioned to her about the road route but she says she'll be late if she goes that way.

It's ruining my lovely walks with dd. By the time I get her to school I'm a huffing puffing grumpy mess. I don't see the lady walking home so I guess she goes the road way back, thank goodness!

This morning we left 5 minutes earlier to avoid this lady but I saw her walking to school as I was walking back and she'd roped in someone else to lift the pushchair.

So, AIBU to avoid the lady or to refuse to lift the pushchair if I see her? I'm generally a people pleaser so I would feel extremely awkward walking past and leaving her struggling.

Yanbu. Tell her it hurts your back or wrist or something if you feel awkward just saying an outright no. It's not on for her to expect the help of strangers every day when there is a perfectly good alternative.

Avoid her, she needs to organise herself to independently get children to school.on time.
Though a baby / child carrier could help!

I think she is being daft. What if you fell and hurt you, your daughter or the baby got hurt. She needs to get up earlier. Maybe develop a bad back for a few days.

I'd avoid her too if there's a different route she could walk. Relying on others to help because you cba to get up 15 mins earlier to walk the step free route is quite brazen, and 100 steps is mad - you lose the time to chat to your dd (confidences often come out while on the way from A to B) and end up frazzled when all could be calm if she did what you used to and walked around.

I'd always help with one normal flight of steps but not 100 steps everyday when they could be avoided!

I'd continue to leave earlier than her and of you do coincide say that you always used the road when you had a pushchair and have back ache/ feel frazzled from lifting so will do it one last time but are giving fair warning you won't be on an ongoing basis.

I m another who always likes to help. Not when it causes that much stress though, thats alot of steps to carry a pushchair. You are def not being unreasonable.

YANBU. I agree with the others that you need to suddenly develop a bad back.

yes, oooh such a bad back!

I think you are being rather silly, why would you be unreasonable. There is an alternative route but that woman chooses not to use it. I wouldn't feel guilty in this case to greet her and carry on walking.

Oh no that sounds grim and I wouldn't want to do that every day either!

I'd probably leave five minutes earlier for the forseeable future. I agree it's a pita that you have to but I'm a wuss I'd feel awkward about walking past her so I'd try and avoid the situation.

I've done all sorts of avoiding tactics on school runs over the years!

Yanbu to feel this way....bright breezy and always in a rush from now on....bad back to boot.... Yes Id probably go slightly early or late to avoid.

Avoid. YANBU.

About time this lady learned how to hold her child's hand and fold and carry the pushchair down the steps herself.

I travelled by train a lot when ds was younger so I made sure I had a pushchair with a one handed fold for the journeys up and down the steps to station platforms.

YANBU. Simply leave 5 minutes earlier to avoid her.

Yanbu. Luckily it should be quite easy to avoid her by getting up and setting off the fifteen minutes earlier because she can't be arsed to get up that early and if she did she'd go via the road.

At 18 months I would have carried my dc in a sling

Auntymag, reading it back to myself I agree I sound silly but when I'm eyeball to eyeball with the lady and her children it's not so easy to just leave them struggling.

I think I'll just say I'm in a rush in future, I'm not good at pretending back backs etc and dd is the type of loudmouth child who will say 'You haven't got a bad back mummy' and drop me in it.

Agree with everyone. Don't think YABU.

Things like an enjoyable walk with your DD are precious, and you should do what you have to do to preserve them.
It's so lovely to have moments like that in your day.