would I be u to not mention it?

[januaryblues11]

this isn't even happening until August but I'm stressing already.

in August, for 1 night we are having my dps 3 kids sleeping here overnight. they are 6, 5 & 2. they have not slept over before, he usually only has daytime contact with them but his ex is away with work. we live in a 1 bed. we are going to have the eldest 2 in our bed and the youngest in a travel cot. We will sleep on the sofa bed.

I'm worried about our downstairs neighbours. we have a difficult relationship with them. we have called noise patrol on them before for playing music so loudly at 2am that a picture hanging on our hall fell off and broke, and they have knocked on my door to complain when my ds had a tantrum before. the walls are paper thin, it's an old place

should I warn them that the kids will be here that night? it's possible they may make noise. the youngest hasn't slept away from his mum before and the eldest 2 are bound to be over excited.

I thought of maybe leaving them a bottle of wine with a note attached a couple of days beforehand? or would you not mention it at all?

bump?

wine is a good move but inbound knock and speak to them rather than leave a note.

I'm not sure whether you are asking in case the neighbours play loud music and disturb the kids or whether you are worried the kids will make a noise and disturb the neighbours?

Either way, I probably wouldn't mention it for just one night.

I wouldn't mention it. Your DP has every right to have his children stay and the neighbours should count themselves lucky they don't stay more often. I would warn them and make a nice gesture if doing something like a party but not for normal life. They will have you over a barrel if they think they have any right to be annoyed about normal life. It goes without saying you will try to have all kids in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour.

God, I wouldn't give them wine, it's not as if you're having a party. I'd leave them a note just to say there may be some noise but it's for one night only. That's it though.

I'm worried about the kids disturbing the neighbours. the eldest 2 wind each other up and bicker, and the youngest may miss his mum

I expect you will try and settle the DCs early so at the risk of suggesting the obvious recommend lots of fresh air that day to wear them out and very little sugar. I think I would be inclined not to mention their visit in advance but try and stay on good terms with grumpy neighbours between now and August.

Save the wine for any complaints on the night?

With any luck they could be away on holiday then.

I wouldn't mention it or even give them wine. Your dp might have them over again many times, they will just have to deal with it.

I think you are letting your neighbours walk all over you.

They are making unnecessary noise by playing music extremely loud.

These children are making unavoidable noise which is a part of every day living. It doesn't happen very often and isn't really something reasonable people would complain about. Particularly if they are in the habit of making an awful lot of noise themselves.

I certainly don't think you should be pandering to them by buying a bottle of wine. I think you should be much more assertive and tell them where to get off. They're going to think you're a doormat otherwise. That they can make loads of noise and not care, but if you make a little noise you have to go creeping apologetically to them. Woman up. Stand up to them.

I mean, they've not even been there overnight. Your neighbour plays extremely loud music at 2am and you have children making normal noise in daytime hours and you're the one apologising? Crazy.

thank you for your comments everyone. I admit I shy from confrontation so when they came round to complain about my ds I found it very stressful.

I am not going to mention it. thanks again