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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he could give it a miss for once?!

21 replies

goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:01

DD goes to dancing from 6.30pm to 8.30pm on a Friday. DP has a separate activity in the same town, which is 20 mins away, from 7-8pm so the timing is usually ideal for him to drop her off and pick her up. Tomorrow, though, DD’s activity is finishing at 7.30 instead. DP therefore wants me to drive us all to this other town, hang around from 6.30 to 7.30 with the other 2 DC (youngest 4), pick DD up, hang around with all 3 DC another half hour (45 mins if you count DP’s shower after 8pm, really) then drive us all home about 8.15pm (when 2 DC are normally asleep). Considering DP goes to this activity 2x a week, AIBU in thinking he should maybe give it a miss tomorrow night?!! Or am I just being lazy and should try and accommodate everyone???

OP posts:
FelicityGubbins · 14/05/2015 17:04

Tell him that you will take dd and stay to bring her back home, but he can take the other dc's with him..

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate · 14/05/2015 17:05

Is it something which he really has to go toor it will let others down? If not then yanbu; given your young DC you are probably not even U even if it would mean people missed him at his activity tbh.

Fatmomma99 · 14/05/2015 17:05

If it's 8:15 by the time DD has showered, then your DH only has to leave his activity 5 mins early to be on time to pick her up.

Is it not possible for him to do this?

Or could DD wait for 5 mins after her shower if he absolutely has to stay there til 8pm? (totally understand if you don't want her hanging around by herself!)

I don't think YABU as it's unfair on the 2 youngest DC to drag them out for nothing and keep them up after their bedtimes.

ItsTricky · 14/05/2015 17:08

Can DD not miss this week?

MargoReadbetter · 14/05/2015 17:11

He could drop off your DD and go to his activity. Then you go later and collect your DD only, no hanging around. Your DH drives himself back.

MargoReadbetter · 14/05/2015 17:12

I'm assuming you have two cars.

Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:12

Fatmomma, it's DP showering Grin . DD finishes dancing at 7.30 (special time this week as it's an end-of-season prizegiving thingie).

And no, DP won't be letting anyone down if he doesn't turn up ...Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:14

Golly, Margo, not sure why you'd assume that! Grin We have one. I'm thinking of suggesting he takes the bus home but I know he won't go for that.

OP posts:
GloGirl · 14/05/2015 17:32

I'd tell him his plan is crapand you cantake DD but he has to make his own way there and back or not go.

Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:35

I don't mind taking him there - he'll just have to hang around a bit but that's ok. It's the hanging round for him/late getting back/late bedtime I've got an issue with ...

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/05/2015 17:41

I don't think a one off later night on a Friday for the younger dc is a problem. If he sorts your dd out every Friday then I think it's fine for you to take her/her to miss it for once.

RhiWrites · 14/05/2015 17:45

I'm assuming the dancing and the activity are within 5 minutes of each other in the other town. I think DP should take DD to the dancing, go to his activity for 30 minutes (I'm guessing it's sport because he has to shower after) and then go back and collect DD. Everyone gets to do their thing, no extra driving, no buses, but DP has a shorter session than usual.

Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:47

I'm happy to take her, thickandthin, it's the hour hanging round with the other 2 DC while she's there, followed by 45 mins more hanging round with all 3 DC until DP is finished, that I have an issue with! Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 17:49

Hahaa, Rhi, that would seem reasonable to normal people, wouldn't it?! There's no way he'd leave his activity halfway through (its a martial art, discipline and all that ..)

OP posts:
Littlef00t · 14/05/2015 17:51

Yanbu with younger children having to wait in the car well after their bedtime, it's definintely v selfish of him to keep up with this activity.

TendonQueen · 14/05/2015 17:54

Could DD go home with one of her dancing pals for a bit and then he could pick her up from there on his way home? If that's not possible, I think he should get the bus home. Don't see why the younger DC should be dragged from pillar to post just because he doesn't want to use public transport.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/05/2015 17:56

YANBU OP - what a lot of faff he's prepared to put all four of you through for his hobby. Tell him he can cycle / run / bus / skate / get a lift home if he's that keen

Summerisle1 · 14/05/2015 17:58

Make him catch the bus home. If he's fit enough to be doing martial arts he's certainly capable of catching a sodding bus!

redskybynight · 14/05/2015 18:00

Is there anyone that could give DD or DH a lift home? Then you can take yourself out of the equation altogether.

I get that it's a pain, but you can equally argue that DD should be the one to miss her activity

Original poster
goindowntoyasgursfarm · 14/05/2015 18:01

Thanks, Tendon, I thought of that but there's nobody in the dance class who lives where we do - they all live in the town where it's held.

OK, I'm glad to know I'm probably not BU - THANKS all!!

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 14/05/2015 18:18

But he could go to that town at the end of his thing and pick her up then? It's just about avoiding you having to come out with the younger kids. And he'll be in that town anyway I thought?

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