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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask other people to get their DC to sit down and be quiet?

28 replies

AlmondAmy · 14/05/2015 11:04

My eldest does an after school activity which you can watch from a viewing gallery in an indoor sports hall. I take my 2 yo and new baby with me and take books and snacks to keep her busy. The other parents with younger siblings let them run around, up and down the front of the seats and on the stairs, as well as letting them make as much noise as they like.

Luckily my DD is happy to sit down and not join them but their noise and running is distracting for the children doing the activity and they often struggle to hear the teacher over the noise from the viewing gallery. Also, the activity is at my babys nap time and though we sit as far away from the others as possible they still keep running and shouting near us and waking her up. Aibu if I ask the parents to try and encourage their children to sit down and be quiet next time? They are all aged 3-7 so older than my DD and capable of sitting quietly.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 14/05/2015 11:07

All 3 - 7 year olds are capable of sitting quietly?....... righty ho.

WipsGlitter · 14/05/2015 11:08

Speak to the teacher and see if she would ask them all to be quieter as the children can't hear.

flora717 · 14/05/2015 11:09

If it's to the point of disrupting the activity YANBU. I'd say something to the teacher.

FeijoaSundae · 14/05/2015 11:13

Oh gosh...

I was all set to come on here and say YA definitely NBU...

But actually. All I can say is, I hope your little baby grows up to be as compliant as your 2YO currently is.

Hippymama1 · 14/05/2015 11:14

YAB a bit U - If the children in the class are having problems hearing their teacher of the noise caused by these other children then the teacher should be addressing this issue with their parents.

I understand it is frustrating if they are waking your baby up but to be fair to the other kids, they can't all be quiet because your baby is napping either - children are noisy. Even if their parents made the kids sit down for the duration of the lesson there is no guarantee that they would be quiet!

Is it worth speaking to the class teacher to highlight your concerns about the children in class struggling to hear instructions?

I think if you want to do anything then that is the way to do it - that way if the teacher has identified this as a problem then they can ask the parents and children to keep the noise down.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/05/2015 11:17

No you cannot ask other children to sit in silence because your baby's nap time is in the middle of a child's activity.

SoupDragon · 14/05/2015 11:18

YABU to expect small children to facilitate your baby's nap time.

Donnadoon · 14/05/2015 11:22

Said children have probably sat nicely and quietly at school all day....

Sirzy · 14/05/2015 11:25

If the teacher found it a problem surely they would ask parents to keep watching children quiet?

Lweji · 14/05/2015 11:27

I thought it was a restaurant.

Sorry, YABU, at least about sitting down.
If the teachers have a problem about the noise, let them say so.

You can choose to go out, to a quieter area and let your baby sleep.

Children should be allowed to run as much as they want. They are too sedentary as it is. And then we have to pay for structured sports activities. Nuts.

Feminine · 14/05/2015 11:35

No, YANBU.
Since my eldest was young (he is 16 now)
I've noticed a much more relaxed approach to keeping children still/calm.
It seems to be in vogue where l live, to let little ones be as 'free' as they wish.
At our school we have a whole family assembly each week. I shocked at how lax parents are in keeping their children quiet.
The bigger children are talking/showing... And the little ones are jumping on the chairs and calling out!
however and thus is a big however
if the parents are doing all they can and not just ignoring... I have no problem with it.
We don't have any idea about other issues in their lives, so l prefer just not to 'own' that problem. :)

Feminine · 14/05/2015 11:36

The nap thing though, sorry but you are being a little bit unreasonable.
Nobody needs to take that on, in a public setting. :)

Original poster
AlmondAmy · 14/05/2015 11:42

The teacher does call up for everyone to quieten down but it's ignored. It is a raised viewing gallery with steep stairs - it isn't safe to be running around Lweji. I don't expect people to sit in silence because my baby is napping but if my child was running and being noisy near a sleeping baby, when there is plenty of room to do so elsewhere, I'd tell them to stop.

OP posts:
Feminine · 14/05/2015 11:47

I agree with you Almond
You can't organise others around nap time, but you should be able to expect manners and common sense.
I'd try to relax about it though.
As l said, it us very in vogue to let children 'do as they please' ;)

Binkybix · 14/05/2015 11:49

I agree that if the noise is disrupting the activity that needs to be sorted.

But no way would my two year old sit for that long, even with books etc so I think you're being unreasonable to expect them all to sit for the duration. But I would try to ensure he didn't bother people, get in their way etc.

MythicalKings · 14/05/2015 11:53

YANBU children shouldn't be allowed to run around in a seating area. Not sure the noise can be helped, though.

LegoLady95 · 14/05/2015 12:03

I've got more chance of my 2 year old sitting still and quiet than my older kids!

MissDuke · 14/05/2015 12:10

I don't think you should say anything to them, but if the noise really is disrupting the activity then speak to the teacher - they really shouldn't be allowing that to happen.

thatsn0tmyname · 14/05/2015 12:14

Hmm, in a few years yours will be charging around and someone else will be on here aibu ing about you. We all judge and it all comes back to bite us someday.

Notso · 14/05/2015 12:28

I agree that the noise shouldn't be disrupting the activity. I would speak to the teacher about that. A word of warning though, it might lead to a ban on spectators. This happened with a class DD went to.
It a case of tough luck about your babies nap time though.

Some children are happy to sit quietly, others aren't. My older two were always happy to sit and read or colour. My younger two are not.

MythicalKings · 14/05/2015 12:30

Why do people think there isn't anything wrong with the behaviour of the other DCs? It's appalling to allow them to run around in a seating area and up and down steps. Dangerous and antisocial. If the parents can't control them then they need to take them out.

Speak to the management about it.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 14/05/2015 12:32

Let it go. It's not ideal, for you. Seems ok for everyone else.

If it was a problem for the teachers, then they should say something.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/05/2015 12:35

Good luck with this OP

Feminine · 14/05/2015 12:35

if it was a problem for the teachers

Ime, teachers are too nervous these days.

I really feel that families who control their children, are in a minority these days... :(

Momagain1 · 14/05/2015 12:44

If your littlest needs a nap, the viewing gallery is not the place for you. Go somewhere not overun by children. You have 3 kids. You shouldnt be past the stage of expecting every child to develop conform to the same development schedule. Even without dragging SN into it, some children are more willing and able to sit quietly sooner than others. Besides, for all you know, they have spent the last hour or so sitting quietly somewhere else.

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