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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not go through insurance because I can't bear the hassle?

16 replies

Arghphucket · 13/05/2015 19:32

A lady reversed into my car in the supermarket car park tonight.

Totally her fault, she apologised profusely, gave me her details, assured me she'd pay for damage (scratched bumper and slightly dented wheel arch).

The damage can probably be fixed for £100 (I know someone). She was really upset and admitted she was distracted due to a bereavement, she had kids in the car.

I know there is no "hidden" damage - it was a low speed very minor bump.

I don't think I can bear the hassle of the insurance company having to take the car, being without it, spending hours on the phone, then the endless phonecalls to say I can claim for my injuries etc when I can get it fixed on my drive by a mobile valeter.

Even if she refused/couldn't pay (which I don't think is the case - I have all her details) I don't think I'd pursue it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Arghphucket · 13/05/2015 19:33

AIBU? She looked like she needed a break and was clearly upset.

OP posts:

Smoorikins · 13/05/2015 19:38

No, YANBU.

You are being human and compassionate. Is like to think I'd do the same.

And actually it's in her benefit just to pay the £100 - it would probably cost her more through insurance.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 13/05/2015 19:39

I'm sure she'd be happy to bung you £100 rather than go through insurance.

I did the same years ago when I caused an accident (not really avoidable but technically my fault). Luckily the car I hit was a young lad's first car and only worth £300 so I just gave him the money it was worth and that was that, rather than lose my no claims.

mrschatty · 13/05/2015 19:43

I'd do the same for good karma...
About 6 months ago the car in front suddenly slowed down due to the idiot driver in front of them- I stopped as quickly as I could but still touched their car at low speed- causing the wheel arch to pop out. I was sick with worry and thinking what if they claim whiplash etc gave my details etc they were v fair called me next day to say popped the arch back into place all ok no worries have a nice life- accidents happen and if someone bumped me and no harm done physically I'd let it go- maybe call her to say forget about it if that's what you choose to do I can't tell you how much that settled my worried mind xxx

intheenddotcom · 13/05/2015 19:51

Remember that you have to declare all accidents - not just the ones you claim for to the insurers.

If she tells them but says they'll be no claim and you don't then you can get your insurance cancelled.

specialsubject · 13/05/2015 20:12

yes, if she changes her mind and reports it, then you've no insurance.

put it through your insurers. Doesn't mean anyone has to be nasty. Give a mobile phone number for contacts, you can switch those off and always see who is calling.

sorry for her situation, but distracted drivers can cause further bereavements.

specialsubject · 13/05/2015 20:13

ps be aware that there may, just may, be a husband/partner who then tells her to do something incorrect. Been there.

put it through insurance, protect yourself.

kittycatz · 13/05/2015 20:55

Put it through the insurance. I know you want to be compassionate but it could well end up costing a lot of money. I reversed into someone (who had parked really stupidly) at low speed - totally my fault. They went to the insurance and they ended up having to have the entire bumper replaced at a cost of 1000 pounds. (I think the garage took us all for a ride). There was no visible damage to their car at all but the hidden damage was serious. Fortunately our insurance paid for it.

PoshPenny · 13/05/2015 22:02

You can let your insurance company know you have settled privately. I've had something similar this year, but they wanted to go through insurance. It would have cost £200 if they had settled privately. Instead I had a 4x4 pickup for a month as mine was unroadworthy - goodness only knows what it costs the other side in total with their own cars repairs. I told my insurance co, but the other insurance co admitted liability and were very good to me.
I would get an estimate from your guy and phone her up and tell how much it will cost. Most will settle privately if it's up to £200 or so. I was just unlucky and the lady who reversed into me was married to a plonker. Would agree completely that it's a hassle you can do without though.

TamzinGrey · 13/05/2015 22:54

Go through your insurance. I had a similar incident with a young woman who then sobbed in my arms as I comforted her, and told me that she'd only just passed her test. I felt so sorry for her at the time, but nevertheless reported it to my insurance company. Bloody good job that I did as, presumably, when she got home, Daddy must have advised her to retract and deny everything.

Got my money back in the end but it was a long process.

Tutu1000 · 13/05/2015 23:01

I would say go through the insurance as I had a similar experience to TamzinGrey. I had a young lad drive into the side of me, he admitted liability and said he'd pay for repairs privately. When I phoned him up the next day to tell him the quote he said he didn't feel he was at fault. We are now currently going through the insurers. My car has been fixed at a cost of £1200. The quote I got was for £200 and there was no hidden damage. I am annoyed at the hassle as the claim is still ongoing as he is disputing it, but at least the insurance company is chasing up the money and not me. Now I will never give people the benefit of the doubt.

mineofuselessinformation · 13/05/2015 23:05

Hmmm....
I had someone drive into my car last year. It was her fault, she admitted it and so did her insurance company.
BUT, they didn't pay up. It was only when I has signed forms to take them to court that they did.
I'd go through insurance every time.

emwithme · 13/05/2015 23:38

Please get it checked by a mechanic or similar before you accept anything from her.

DH had a Very Low Speed knock last summer (he says no more than 5 mph). The bumper was cracked under where the headlight sits and we thought that was it, and went "knock for knock" with the other guy.

Three weeks before MOT is due we book into the body shop to get the work repaired to find the crumple zone has crumpled, the cross-member is bent out of all recognition and the car is basically (a) dangerous and (b) would've been written off by the insurers.

We now have a different car.

TheCraicDealer · 14/05/2015 00:27

You could chance not telling them, but probably not worth it in the long run. Ring and tell them it's for notification only purposes and that you aren't pursuing a claim. Then settle privately, as posh says. For amounts that low I wouldn't be bothering going through the hassle of liaising with Insurers, getting quotes, submitting claim forms....nope. Just nope.

WaywardOn3 · 14/05/2015 05:23

Looking at it from the otherside. The at fault driver may try to settle the cost with you (like a friend did when she crashed into an old mans car) only for you to then go through your insurance for more money.

Friend paid the old man £400 cash as that's what he said the work to fix his car cost. She then had a hard time proving to the insurance company that they'd already settled the bill without their involvement.

So I'd go through the insurance company every time (you're also meant to report any accident no matter how small to the police - my insurance comp was very put out when I hadn't and insisted I did even though the only damage to my car was a cracked break light when I had my own accident. The other car was a write off but then she shouldn't have been on her phone then she might have seen me stop at the junction)

Stopandlook · 14/05/2015 06:46

What posh says.

Just as long as you choose who fixes it, similar happened to me and I stupidly let the person who caused the accident choose the garage, they did a rubbish job with respray.

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