To be seeing an empty space where my future should be?

[Underafricansky]

I feel like there's nothing to look forward to at all.

I should be married with at least one child. I am not no prospect of being so either.

My career is in tatters.

I can't seem to embrace a healthy life.

I am so sick of myself just now and I honestly try not to be self pitying but i just want to cry. There's nothing in the future for me.

I understand where you are coming from as I am 38 & single with no children. It IS scary thinking about the future now - after all what do you do with your life when you get older if you have no partner, no children or grandchildren?

Sorry, I'm not much help here!

However I do recommend online dating. Lots of friends / colleagues have found partners that way, & had babies within a year or so.

Haven't posted about this. Would be interested to see the thread.

The problem is, I'm not sure how to explain it but it's not that I don't think people are being helpful it's that none of it helps now. Like saying 'lose weight' - I have, I'm still fat though. I'll get there but the thing is even when I lose weight I'm still not very attractive.

I can easily walk I'm not THAT overweight. About 2 and a half stone.

IAm, I have no way of meeting people. I'm too old to be in pubs clubs and meeting people, St my age decent men are at home with their wives and babies.

Actually, lots of decent men are separated and getting divorced because they married too young and grew apart, rather than because something is wrong. I also know lots of men and women at my work who are in their 30s and not yet married / kids because they travel a lot/are trying to reach a certain career level professionally. So it's not that dire.

Most single people I know use online dating. How did that go for you?

Badly, in a word! Am on pof now but getting nowhere, but I have been on paid sites too and I just don't get any messages.

I found pof a meat market to be honest, have you tried OKCupid? ive had much more luck there before.

I loved internet dating, I recommend it to all my single friends. Yes there are a LOT of weirdos but there also a lot of genuinely nice people too. Have you tried messaging people instead of waiting for people to message you?

Yes, it's rare I get a response to be honest and it upsets me.

I know it works for some people. Don't know why it doesn't for me. But I don't feel I have one good thing to look forward to. I just wish I could press a stop button, end things. I never wanted this life. I didn't sign up for it.

What's the biggest thing you want to change? Or the thing that would make you happier?

Honestly - nothing. I just can't see anything. The only thing that might work is turning back the clock twenty years. I can't do that, I'm stuck.

Well none of us signed up or wanted this life when you think about it

I know. And I've tried, I really have. But I can't now. I can't keep trying, because I'm just so tired of feeling awful and hating myself but then what's the alternative, grow old completely alone? Guess so.

Where did your username come from OP? I'd be thrilled if it references what I'm thinking

I'm in a similar situation OP so if you would like someone to talk to don't hesitate to PM me. Have some and a on me.

Paul Simon? :)

Thanks.

Yes

Brilliant album and a beautiful track.

I applaud your taste!

Is there one small change that might make you feel your life is a little healthier?

Could you try to eat an extra piece of fruit for 5 out of the next 7 days, for example?

I'm just musing on ideas to help you feel a little more in control of the immediate future.

I have to say, I think you're very brave to sign up for online dating - I so admire people who put themselves out there :-) You can obviously be really bold in some aspects of your life!

What about joining a club/ group? Meet new people with a similar interest or learn a new skill?