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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it's the taking part that counts, not how long I took?

47 replies

Tinklewinkle · 13/05/2015 17:06

We had a big sponsored walk here this weekend. The whole thing is 26 miles, or you can do either the first half of second half. Or there are shorter walks, flat walks and different bits that you can do

I've done halves several times but this year I was determined to do the whole thing. I found it quite hard but did it in just over 10 hours and was really, really proud of myself.

Anyway, at work yesterday, don't work on a Monday, so the first time I've seen them all since the weekend so it was the first time we've all talked about it.

Apparently, my time was really bad and was subject to much ribbing and stick as to how long it took me - a lot of my colleagues are real fitness fanatics and do a lot of those Tough Mudder/3 Peaks type challenges so all managed times much less than me, so I'm a light weight, etc, etc.

I was still feeling a bit stiff today, I'm alright when I'm moving around but if I sit down for any length of time I sieze up a bit, so again, more ribbing and what a light weight I am.

I took it all as a laugh yesterday, but when they were all still going on about it this afternoon, I got a bit bored of hearing it and was a bit 'ha ha ha '

So now I'm a killjoy with no sense of humour

AIBU to think it's the taking part that counts? I didn't think 10 hours was too shoddy to be honest. It's not exactly an afternoon stroll and 26 miles is a bloody long way.

I feel a bit like they've rained on my parade to be honest

OP posts:

Welshmaenad · 13/05/2015 19:05

Well, I think you're bloody terrific. What a massive achievement! You have every right to be proud of yourself, well done.

thebestlaidplans · 13/05/2015 19:12

I had exactly this when I ran a marathon in 6 hours. I shuffled around, just in front of the pick up bus. I was pleased to survive it and raised £ for charity. But got loads of stick for my time, mainly from the people I know who've done it in 3/4 hours or haven't done one yet at all. Really pissed on my chips at the time. But you know what? They only ran for 3 or 4 hours, I ran for 6, so who's the most hardcore after all? ME. You did brilliantly.

Original poster

Tinklewinkle · 14/05/2015 09:21

Thanks!

20 minutes in and first comment already made. They seem to be a lot more interested in my time than I am

Skeppers well done! The second half is definitely the hardest. It was the last 4 miles that killed me.

OP posts:

flora717 · 14/05/2015 10:40

You did well, they're miserable sods who best not consider a future in coaching / training / anything in a supportive role really. Don't enter the "my scars bigger than yours" fray. Enjoy your achievements (they don't seem to enjoy theirs, there'll be many out there who could trounce their scores).

Skiptonlass · 14/05/2015 10:47

I know a lot of quite serious athletes (people who do ultra marathons, serious triathlons, and some of the top fell runners in the UK. ) they'd never say things like that. They are insanely competitive with each other, but very supportive of newbies, kids and civilians who are joining in with the shorter distances. I would imagine that the less good ones amongst them would leave your workmates in a trial of dust.

People who are really serious, and really good, never, ever, ever behave like your workmates are doing. It's seen as incredibly bad manners.

Depending on how banter - friendly your workplace is, you may wish to try,

"Yes, you did it very fast - and carrying that ego too!"

And I was always more sore the second or third day... Keep moving!

TheMagnificientFour · 14/05/2015 10:49

I think the pp who said that they must have an inferiority complex to be do attached to your time and feeling it's ok to put you down constantly is right.
Just tell them
'Look if you feel necessary to still put me down after 3 days, then you really must have a massive inferiority complex to need such a pick up'

Hippymama1 · 14/05/2015 10:55

YANBU at all - your colleagues sound like arseholes...

If they haven't got anything nice to say then they should keep their opinions to themselves. I am active in a competitive sport but would never, ever mock someone else's efforts - in fact the more experienced of us encourage people to be humble - pride comes before a fall after all...

I think it is more difficult for people starting out at a sport than it is for those of us who have been doing it for a while so you have achieved way more than they have, regardless of time!

I think it is a brilliant achievement and well done you! You should be very proud of yourself and don't let these idiots take the edge off for you. I hope you have some nice treats organised for yourself as a reward.

BikeRunSki · 14/05/2015 10:57

I do quite a lot of sport. A true sportsman will support anyone who wants to have a go and see how they get on, regardless of speed, strength or ability. It's about commitment and enthusiasm.

LowryFan · 14/05/2015 11:02

It is TOTALLY about taking part when you have done 26 miles!!! That is brilliant. You might not want to do this but if you have a fundraising link I will happily add a couple of £ to your total. If any other MNers feel inclined I bet you end up raising a lot more than your colleagues and you can tell them to stick it up their arse!

Shetland · 14/05/2015 11:03

What bogeyface said ^^

I did a measley 5k last year and was determined to run all the way. And I did - coming in a good way behind my family (all regular runners). All of whom were delighted with my effort. Which is how it should be - I'd have mighty pissed off with any ribbing, let alone 2 days worth - it would have really taken the shine off my 'achievement'

You've done great - and they're a bunch of shows offs.

Hadron21 · 14/05/2015 11:09

Even if you had completed it walking on your hands in two hours they'd have something to say! Think about it - it's all about THEM and what they can do. Well let them bugger off and do it.
Well done you for doing it for the right reasons! Congratulations.
YOU DONE A MARATHON. You are amazing.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/05/2015 11:10

I would ask them "Why do you care about my time, so much that you are still commenting days later?"

or
"God, your life must be so dull if this is all you have to talk about..." accompanied by a laugh and a face.

MakeItACider · 14/05/2015 11:11

'God, you lot really are boring. Can't you think of anything new to talk about?'

AgathaChristie01 · 14/05/2015 11:18

Well done, it's a great achievement. Take no notice, and certainly don't let them annoy you. Sounds like a bit of a herd mentality, smile sweetly and tell them to run along , and discuss something else.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/05/2015 11:39

I'd say, "Didn't your parents ever tell you, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

Or - "I was really proud of myself for having completed this (in one go, not two >) - but after all your kind words and encouragement, I don't think I shall be bothering at all next year!"

ImCatbug · 14/05/2015 12:01

I'm a fairly fit person and have walked marathons a few times before, but the one I did last year was bloody difficult and took me over 9 hours. 10 hours for a first walk is amazing!
They are not easy things to complete, you did brilliantly and your colleagues are all rude idiots.

HorsesDogsNails · 14/05/2015 12:32

I did the Moonwalk a few years ago in about 9 hours, and I am still proud of myself for finishing it!! It is still the hardest physical thing I have done and it is not something to be underestimated.... My friend and I cried a lot when we finished, mainly through exhaustion I think!! Well done, and I also think your colleagues are horrible.

If they have started on you again can you say something like 'are we doing this AGAIN today, really?'. Make it clear you're done with talking about it?

Fwiw, my DH is enjoys running and can do 10k in about 55 mins but he had said if every I wanted to do a race he would happily run at my pace to help me finish. And I know he would be proud of what we both did, even though I would be very slow because I don't do running!!!

Chin up though, you've got lots to be proud of!!

muminhants · 14/05/2015 12:42

I've not had this but I had a pair of running shoes which were bright orange. A few people at the running club commented and it was ha ha to start with. But one particular guy went on about them for months. Eventually I did have a sense of humour failure and just said "This is now an old joke, I'd like to come to running club without you commenting on my shoes as I've had a sense of humour failure". He shut up after that.

Show them the graphic which does the round on the internet - a 12 minute mile is as far as a 6 minute mile (or similar).

Yes 26 miles is a long way. I've only cycled that far and it's enough on a bike!

Original poster

Tinklewinkle · 14/05/2015 13:46

Thanks again!

Most of them have shut up today thank goodness. There is one, (isn't there always?) who thinks he's the self appointed office joker/twat who kept wanging on about it so I asked him why he was more interested in my time than I was

Apparently, I can't take a joke and it's just "banter", he shut up after I pointed out that telling the same joke for 3 days just made him look like a bore who had nothing more interesting in his life than obsessing over the time someone else completed a sponsored walk in.

A big cycling race tour kicked off here today so he's gone to watch and take part in the amateur stuff.

Moral high ground or revenge?

OP posts:

MokunMokun · 14/05/2015 13:57

He sounds a real charmer. I remember a woman telling me that she had run a marathon in Hawaii. I was kind of taken aback as I had no idea she was a runner. She told me that it took her 13 hours. I was very impressed that she did that. I think you did great!

Hippymama1 · 14/05/2015 14:24

Twinkle Well done you for sticking up for yourself - it's only a joke / banter if both parties agree that it is funny, otherwise it is just being an arsehole at best and bullying at worst. He sounds like an idiot. Hopefully that's him told and he will put a sock in it now!

growl3th · 14/05/2015 20:18

Well done Tinklewinkle. I did a 26 mile walk about a fortnight ago and it was hard going. Had targeted 9-10 hours so your time was fine. As it turned out the weather was absolutely crap so it was head down and plod on non-stop and i finished in 7 1/2. If the weather had been better I'm guessing I would have been nearer the 9 hour mark since in good weather last year I did 13 miles in 4 hours.

Put up you sponsorship link and I'm sure you'll get more donations.

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