To insist the parents are informed.

[Timri]

Found out last week that DS is being bullied in school. He is in year 1, and one of youngest in the year.
Boys who I thought he was mates with have been excluding him from play, calling him names and physically hitting him, tripping him over etc.

I went for a meeting with his teacher and she told me it's not acceptable, she will talk to all boys involved, and observe them at lunchtime etc and go from there. Assured me it would be dealt with.
The next day teacher was not in, asked DS if anyone was horrible to him, he said yes they hit him.
So following day made a beeline for teacher.
She told me after the meeting she had informed the 'behaviour' teachers, they had seen the boys behaviour to DS the day before, and had spoken to them.
Teacher said she wanted to speak to them herself (hadn't been able to do it that day as whole class were on a trip).

So AIBU that now the boys have been seen doing it, it warrants more than a talking to now?
I understand the talking to before hand, but now that staff members have seen first hand it should move on to something more than a talking to?

Opinions please, I'm very upset and angry obviously that DS is going through this, and I just want to do right by him.
I don't want to go in all guns blazing and demand they're expelled obviously, but I don't want DS to just be robbed off either?

*fobbed off

Also to clarify, I found out last Thursday the extent, went for meeting Friday, they were seen doing it Monday.

The school should be following their behaviour/bullying policy.

I can completely appreciate how upsetting this is for you and that you want to know that things are being done to stop this bullying, but exactly how the school deals with it isn't up to you.

What you can continue to do though, of course, is to listen to you ds and use the school's complaints policy ie escalate your complaints through to SLT if you feel that the class teacher isn't responding appropriately (let her know that you're going to do this).

Hope that you get this sorted soon.

I think you need to give the classteacher a chance to sort it out first. They may be planning some kind of group intervention with those boys which will take a few days to sort out. I know you are upset, but you do need to give the school a bit of time.

I would, however, ask for a copy of the behaviour/bullying policy to check at what stage the school considers it appropriate to inform parents.

Thank you.
That's why I'm posting here, I know im upset and emotional about it and I need a bit of perspective.
I will ask for a copy of their bullying policy today, and just keep speaking to him about what's going on.
I just feel so helpless, my instincts are obviously to protect him and there's nothing I can do really

Definitely keep touching base with the teacher to see what is being done about it, if you aren't happy with the outcome ie it keeps happening then speak to the head. If your DS tells you about something that happens let the teacher know, sometimes kids open up to parents but won't necessarily tell their teacher.

They need to follow their behaviour/bullying policy so make sure you have a copy. I once worked with a teacher who didn't believe infant school children could bully which is quite ridiculous as there were some that definitely could and these things need to be nipped in the bud early on.

Lots of schools have their bullying policy on their website. If you don't think the school are doing enough (from your post it sounds that way) it might be worth comparing their bullying policy with other schools. Then you could come up with some suggestions. I hope it is all sorted soon. to you and your son.

My DD suffered years of this, it would die down for a few weeks then start up again. The school avoided it, made excuses for the kids and were generally useless. Two weeks before the end of year six the head apologised and said they had let her down. Very useful at that point.

I was talking to the EWO about another matter, different child and what we had been through came up. She said she wished she had known about it and would have been involved.

I don't know if they still have EWOs but might be worth finding out.

Lowry, yes I have just found it on website.
It says 'the ethos at x school is to prevent bullying, however should an incident of bulling occur these guidelines should apply:
1: all bullying incidents will be recorded
2...
3...
4...
5: parents will be informed.

So does this mean according to their policy that parents should have been informed when it was confirmed bullying?

It may mean that they should apply in a certain order (eg after one time step one, two times step two etc) or it could mean all at once. Best speak to the school again, waving the policy in your hand!

Rolodex Yes I'll think I'll do that, just speak to the teacher to clarify what's happening now and bring up the policy with her.
I feel really stressed out,and I've had whole family on my case, this isn't good enough that isn't good enough, you need to do this that the other, you need to request meeting with head, write to head etc
Understand they think they're helping, but they're just making me more stressed!!

Sounds great. I wouldn't necessarily expect the teachers to do more than just speak to the boys (and inform their parents if deemed as such) because at this stage in development I think some bullying can stem from children being at different stages in development, and the teachers are the best to judge this in context. Equally though, they should take the early opportunity to impress on the boys that that kind of behaviour is unacceptable and this may warrant a different approach. Good luck!

Where it says all bullying incidents will be recorded, tell them you want copies. Anything written about your son.

Dd left a school that she was bullied in, when we took her out they claimed they had nothing on file about her being bullied, as we complained to lea.

After she moved schools one of her bullies was moved to her new school and started bullying her again. I met with the HT on 3 occasions who assured me it was all recorded. The boy assaulted her 3 times in 2 weeks and the school called police, but all the early incidents were not written down, the HT left in the middle and the new head kept acting as though the bullying leading up to the 3 assaults never happened. Basically she is trying to make out they couldn't have seen this coming. After this we get copies of everything.

If you wait until something bad happens, the school could claim to not remember these incidents. It saves time and misery to start doing this now and the school are likely to be more proactive if they know you are collecting whats recorded.

Not all schools are like this but a lot are.

Update: picked him up and spoke to teacher, she said she has spoken to boys involved, told them they have been seen and that it isn't acceptable.
I spoke to DS and he said that all was ok today, nobody said/did anything and he played with another friend at dinner time.
I asked teacher what will happen if there is another incident, and she told me then parents will be informed and boys break times will be sanctioned.
So I'll just keep talking with DS, see what happens and go from there.

That's good advice NRoman thank you.