To be annoyed at mil?

[imwithspud]

She had our daughter on Monday whilst me and my partner attended a funeral. When she brought her back she was telling us what they had been up to throughout the day, she mentioned that they had stopped off to visit mil's dad and that DD had woken up just before they left. I said I was surprised that she had stayed asleep during their visit because 9 times out of 10 she wakes up when you lift her out of her car seat. MIL then (reluctantly, I thought) goes on to say that she had left her in the car whilst she went in, but it was okay because she only stopped for five minutes. I didn't say anything except "oh" at the time as she dropped DD off at the wake and to be honest I was shocked that she thought leaving a 2 year old child unattended in a car was acceptable on any level.

AIBU? Even if it was for the five minutes like she claims? (Not sure I believe it was 'only' five minutes to be honest). It was a warm day as well and everyone knows how warm cars can get even in mild weather, not to mention all the stories lately about children being left in cars and how dangerous it can be. No doubt DD would have been a bit freaked out about waking up in an empty car with no idea where she was. I told my OH afterwards as he wasn't there when this conversation took place and he wasn't impressed either. Needless to say he will be having words with her about it next time he sees her.

Sylvanians Exactly what you said

Completely agree with Sylvanians

I've left my dcs sleeping in the car while we go in the house before, but the car was always in the shade, backed right up the drive with the door wide open and our back door open so we could see them.

I wouldn't be happy for them to be left how you describe. There's too many things that could happen. On Monday it was raining off and on here but it was also warm and stuffy at the same time. I wouldn't have liked to be locked in a car for long.

"Rather than ask her - tell her - not to leave your child unattended again, you need to point this out - that THIS is the problem. You do not want to spend the time when she has your LO wondering - worrying - that she's going to take small chances, small risks, make decisions she knows you wouldn't make because it makes her life easier. She doesn't have the right to do that and when your child is in her care, she has an obligation to do what she knows in her heart you would want and to err on the side of caution in any judgement call. If she can't do that, you can't let her have your child unattended, because you won't be able to trust her."

I agree completely. Apologies, I used a poor choice of words in my last post about 'asking her not to do it again' I should have written 'tell her not to do it again' as that's definitely what we will be doing that 100%. I don't expect my in-laws or even my own mum to do [i]everything[/i] as I would when they look after our daughter, they like to spoil her and they give her more chocolate and 'treats' than we normally would, they put her to bed slightly later than we do if they have her over night which is fine. But where the safety of our child is at risk - even a small one then yes I do expect them to do as we would, especially if the reasons and risks have been explained to them.

I remember when DD was still rear facing in the car at 18 months as she hadn't reached the appropriate weight to forward face yet and they were forever asking when they could turn their car seat forward, really annoying considering we had already explained to them why she couldn't for ward face and how much safer it is to rear face.

I came across a toddler wandering around a car park once. I took her hand and we found her mum in a nearby shop. It turned out the mother had left her sleeping in the car and didn't realise that the little girl knew how to undo the straps of her seat and open the door.

That being said, I would definitely let your MIL know nicely that you don't want her being left in the car out of sight, but I wouldn't get annoyed and angry or refuse to let her mind your child again.